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T'were a miserable day, here in my town, all cloudy and foggy and overcast, almost London-esque. So I thought to myself, "Eric," I thought, "You've got an hour before your shift. Go find a way to cheer people up on this horridble day." So I went down to my local everything-plus-the-kitchen-sink store, and looked around for a bit, and was about to give up when I came across the most beautiful thing I've ever seen; a pen. But not just any pen. This pen was the most glorious shade of blue, and more importantly, it was a foot long and nigh two-inches thick. I gladly turned over the coin required for the purchase, and skipped off to work.
I proceeded to hide all the pens from the front till (I know, I probably shouldn't have, but shush), and from then on, whenever someone needed to sign a credit card reciept, or write something down, I passed over my jumbogantic penfriend. Dozens of people passed through with a smile, their day brightened, until..
Sonny. Not his name, but it suits. The /second/ I passed him the pen, he turned red and started screaming at the top of his lungs. I mean it, children were /crying/. Abashed, I attempted to offer him a normal pen, but to no avail; "I DEMAND ANOTHER SMURFING CASHIER!", declared he. Well, there was only one other employee on site at the time, and she had a massive line of her own, so I did the only thing I could do.
"Certainly, sir! I'll just go get Dexter from the back!"
Praying to God that it'd work and I wouldn't wind up smacked, I suspended the transaction, ducked into the back of the store, switched my pin and nametag, popped my collar, removed my necklace, threw on a pair of amber-lensed sunglasses, and put a strip of masquing tape over the name on my tag, scrawling a quick "Dexter" onto the tape.
Posthaste, I returned to my post, not even a minute having elapsed, and took my position behind the register, greeted with "FINALLY, SOMEONE WITH SOME SENSE! Now, can I /please/ pay for this crap, sign my reciept with a normal pen, and get the SMURF out of here?"
With a commisserating shake of my head, and a "Yeah, that <my name> is quite the character, isn't he?" I wrapped up the transaction, handed him a Bic stick, took his signature, and sent him on his way. Before he finished leaving, though, I called out "Sonny!" "Yeah, what?" With a deft flick, I pulled off the glasses with my left hand, and tore the tape off my tag with my right.
"I'm quite the character, aren't I? *wink wink* Bye now!"
For the record, I am totally amazed it actually /worked/. I mean, my hair is pink, green, and three shades of orange. What are the /chances/ of two cashiers like that, I ask you? Ah, well. The other customers enjoyed it!
I proceeded to hide all the pens from the front till (I know, I probably shouldn't have, but shush), and from then on, whenever someone needed to sign a credit card reciept, or write something down, I passed over my jumbogantic penfriend. Dozens of people passed through with a smile, their day brightened, until..
Sonny. Not his name, but it suits. The /second/ I passed him the pen, he turned red and started screaming at the top of his lungs. I mean it, children were /crying/. Abashed, I attempted to offer him a normal pen, but to no avail; "I DEMAND ANOTHER SMURFING CASHIER!", declared he. Well, there was only one other employee on site at the time, and she had a massive line of her own, so I did the only thing I could do.
"Certainly, sir! I'll just go get Dexter from the back!"
Praying to God that it'd work and I wouldn't wind up smacked, I suspended the transaction, ducked into the back of the store, switched my pin and nametag, popped my collar, removed my necklace, threw on a pair of amber-lensed sunglasses, and put a strip of masquing tape over the name on my tag, scrawling a quick "Dexter" onto the tape.
Posthaste, I returned to my post, not even a minute having elapsed, and took my position behind the register, greeted with "FINALLY, SOMEONE WITH SOME SENSE! Now, can I /please/ pay for this crap, sign my reciept with a normal pen, and get the SMURF out of here?"
With a commisserating shake of my head, and a "Yeah, that <my name> is quite the character, isn't he?" I wrapped up the transaction, handed him a Bic stick, took his signature, and sent him on his way. Before he finished leaving, though, I called out "Sonny!" "Yeah, what?" With a deft flick, I pulled off the glasses with my left hand, and tore the tape off my tag with my right.
"I'm quite the character, aren't I? *wink wink* Bye now!"
For the record, I am totally amazed it actually /worked/. I mean, my hair is pink, green, and three shades of orange. What are the /chances/ of two cashiers like that, I ask you? Ah, well. The other customers enjoyed it!
rb
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