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  • Unsupportable Random Thoughts Thread

    For all those simple, short tales of dealing with lusers or other technology-related tales that don't deserve their own threads. Vent your salt and vinegar here!
    ========================

    Luser: "So I enter the password you sent me exactly as it says?"

    No, go ahead and enter it however you like. Maybe try interpretive dance, you dumb fuck.
    PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

    There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

  • #2
    Luser: "My phone never rings! It always goes to voicemail! It's BROKEN!

    Me - checks programming: "You've manually forwarded it to voicemail. Turn off the forwarding by pressing the button marked 'Forward' that is flashing"




    B

    Side note - we need some emoji for electrocution and drinking heavily....
    "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."- Albert Einstein.
    I never knew how happy paint could make people until I started selling it.

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth Bandit View Post
      Side note - we need some emoji for electrocution and drinking heavily....
      exists here already, probably the best to imply heavy drinking. There's also to show a luser getting their comeuppance, not quite as satisfying as an electric shock though!

      For emoji, um... ⚡️☄️ for divine retribution? Other choices for boom or booze seem to get broken by the board code.

      Oh, an actual story!

      User campaigns heavily for (then) new 1280x1024 flatscreen to replace their 14" crt. User then complains that everything's smaller and they can't read anything without wearing their glasses; turns out they'd had the crt set to 800x600. Resolution is adjusted, but Flatscreen running non-native resolutions look like shit, so user complains more. User eventually told they can either get the old screen back, or wear their damn glasses.

      Guess which they chose?
      Last edited by RealUnimportant; 05-13-2017, 01:24 PM.
      This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
      I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth RealUnimportant View Post
        Flatscreen running non-native resolutions look like shit, so user complains more. User eventually told they can either get the old screen back, or wear their damn glasses.

        Guess which they chose?
        Not necessarily. If the flatscreen's native resolution had been 1600x1200 instead of 1280x1024, her chosen 800x600 would have looked OK (each "synthesized" pixel would have been a 2x2 block of "native" pixels). What makes it look bad is that if the native resolution is not a multiple of the displayed resolution, some "synthesized" pixels occupy more "native" pixels than others (in this case, some would be doubled, others wouldn't be). A CRT is more of a continuous process, so you don't get such artifacts.

        Of course, having a native resolution of 1280x1024 is a giveaway of it being an old story - for years, flatscreens have had a 9:4 ratio instead of the older 4:3 (or close to it, as in the case of 1280x1024).

        My guess is that she wanted her CRT back.
        Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

        Comment


        • #5
          Exactly so regarding the resolution; the only available resolutions were not equally divisible, and to get a screen big enough to support being rounded down to 800x600 was well outside budget!

          And you'll be completely unsurprised to learn you guessed correctly.
          This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
          I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

          Comment


          • #6
            Naturally. A lot of people are blinded by the "I want the latest and greatest" syndrome, not realizing that for what they're doing the "old school" tool they're using is better for the job than the shiny they're lusting after.
            Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

            Comment


            • #7
              Hey, AppX Support--

              If a user is having issues with AppX-- and ONLY AppX-- and has already confirmed all their relevant accesses/etc are up to date, then why the FUCK are you telling them the problem isn't on your end?

              I'm sending this ticket to you. Get your head outta your ass.
              PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

              There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

              Comment


              • #8
                The all of thirty seconds I spent 'fixing' your laptop/printer connection? You can do it too! I swear I've written the steps down for you about six times...if you think it will only work when I do it, why don't you try and see? One more time and I'm going to start charging by the second.
                "I am quite confident that I do exist."
                "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

                Comment


                • #9
                  No need to get that detailed with the charging, just institute a standard $X for every hour or any part thereof
                  This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
                  I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Co worker speaking about pc* "I did something when it did nothing and it is not working anymore..."

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      @Random Support Drone #3: Before launching into your prepared speech about why a thing doesn't work, make sure you're talking about the thing you were being asked about. You wasted my time, made my customer wait around for no reason, and somehow decreased my already low opinions of your company. If it wasn't for the other two good drones, nothing would ever get fixed around here!
                      This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
                      I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I don't like coming back from break, and the second I click back into the queue, the number of calls waiting jumps up by two...

                        ETA: I swear, my eye twitches every time I hear someone call their web browser "Foxfire."
                        Last edited by Jay 2K Winger; 06-07-2017, 06:47 PM.
                        PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                        There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          User: "My mouse isn't working." (joking tone) "I think the cat got it."
                          J2K: (deadpan) "Haaa. Dad Jokes, IT Edition."
                          User:
                          PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                          There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
                            User: "My mouse isn't working." (joking tone) "I think ...
                            I'm not going to post the Female Users supposition...
                            I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                            Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                            Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Do I really have to put the CD in the drive for you and follow the prompts to install the printer drivers? You too can do this. Why wait until now to tell me "I can't print" when you had all day to insert the disc and follow the prompts? Don't give me that look when I insist that you sit at your computer and pay attention while I am doing what you should have done.

                              ...Then again, you refuse to upgrade your security software because "it wants to sell me a subscription"...no it doesn't, read the screen. I will update it for you exactly once. After today, if you wind up with a virus either you deal with it or I am charging you my full hourly rate.
                              "I am quite confident that I do exist."
                              "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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