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Backstory: I'm going to a family wedding in Canada this autumn. It's in the Maritimes, where there's a decent sized branch of my family (we're Irish, and thus EVERYWHERE.) There are also a ton of us in Vancouver, although they split off from the Maritimes branch and moved there about 50 years ago due to some unspecified feud that no one knows the origin of but that is still very bitter... if there's something the Irish can do, it's FEUD. You know, apart from the squabbles that can be resolved through shared drinking.
But I digress.
The groom is a distant cousin of mine, but I've never met the bride. Apparently though easily 3/4 of the places at the wedding are taken up by her huge family (to be fair, this is at least partly because the Vancouver branch weren't invited and wouldn't come anyway.) That's over 200 people from the bride's family.
Last night, I talked to the bride on the phone about arrangements. After we hung up, I idly checked the area code out of interest.
867.
867.
867.
Sweet Mother of God
I shot off an email to check. It's true. The bride... and her huge family... are from NUNAVUT.
Yes, I am spending a week in a tiny town in Newfoundland with over 200 people from freaking NUNAVUT.
(Seriously? 200 PEOPLE? Are you bringing the whole town? Are you bringing the whole PROVINCE? Are there even that many people in Nunavut to start with??
)
And thus brings me to my question.
GK, you know them. You know how to wrangle them. You know how to placate them. They'll all be drunk, GK. They may be Nunavutians but they're marrying into Irish. EVERYONE will be drunk.
So:
1. Should I purchase them some kind of token offering to win them over and prevent them from skinning me and wearing my hide as a cloak
2. When buying this token, how many pants do you think I should buy and what kind
3. Where can I purchase a fuckton of pink camo in the Maritimes
and
4. Do you think they'll salt and eat me anyway?
(And on behalf of my soon-to-be in-laws... I am so sorry for all you've had to endure.
)
But I digress.
The groom is a distant cousin of mine, but I've never met the bride. Apparently though easily 3/4 of the places at the wedding are taken up by her huge family (to be fair, this is at least partly because the Vancouver branch weren't invited and wouldn't come anyway.) That's over 200 people from the bride's family.
Last night, I talked to the bride on the phone about arrangements. After we hung up, I idly checked the area code out of interest.
867.
867.
867.
Sweet Mother of God
I shot off an email to check. It's true. The bride... and her huge family... are from NUNAVUT.
Yes, I am spending a week in a tiny town in Newfoundland with over 200 people from freaking NUNAVUT.
(Seriously? 200 PEOPLE? Are you bringing the whole town? Are you bringing the whole PROVINCE? Are there even that many people in Nunavut to start with??
)And thus brings me to my question.
GK, you know them. You know how to wrangle them. You know how to placate them. They'll all be drunk, GK. They may be Nunavutians but they're marrying into Irish. EVERYONE will be drunk.
So:
1. Should I purchase them some kind of token offering to win them over and prevent them from skinning me and wearing my hide as a cloak
2. When buying this token, how many pants do you think I should buy and what kind
3. Where can I purchase a fuckton of pink camo in the Maritimes
and
4. Do you think they'll salt and eat me anyway?
(And on behalf of my soon-to-be in-laws... I am so sorry for all you've had to endure.
)
" - Jester, about me 
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