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  • Overheard on the radio

    " There is a customer holding on line one for a manager.

    He is very angry,........

    ........Something about watermelons."
    Last edited by Dark Psion; 07-06-2014, 12:17 AM.
    "First time I ever seen a chainsaw go down anybody's britches,"

  • #2

    "Why is there a watermelon there?"
    "I'll tell you later."

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    • #3
      Watermelons make me angry..... *pant* *pant*, VEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRYYY angry indeed!
      - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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      • #4
        Overheard outside DC Federal Court:

        Reporter: "Yes sir, I'm a reporter."

        (Guy mumbles something)

        Reporter: "Do you mean the Devil or the U.S. Government?"


        I have no idea what the context was, nor do I need it. It's perfect as is.
        "Announcing your intentions is a good way to hear God laugh." Al Swearingen (Deadwood)

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        • #5
          Quoth manybellsdown View Post

          "Why is there a watermelon there?"
          "I'll tell you later."
          Actually, it was there undergoing stress testing. One project of the Banzai Institute was to find ways to feed the hungry masses of the world. They were trying to develop a variety of watermelon that would survive an air drop. (I found this out on the Banzai Irregular web site several years ago....)
          I will not be pushed, stamped, filed, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered. My life is my own. --#6

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          • #6
            Quoth Captain Trips View Post
            Actually, it was there undergoing stress testing. One project of the Banzai Institute was to find ways to feed the hungry masses of the world. They were trying to develop a variety of watermelon that would survive an air drop. (I found this out on the Banzai Irregular web site several years ago....)
            I'm guessing that Gallagher would not have been part of this project...
            When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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            • #7
              Wouldn't it be easier to just attach parachutes to the watermelons?

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              • #8
                If a watermelon can't survive a drop from ~3 feet, I doubt a parachute would help from 20,000.
                "I am quite confident that I do exist."
                "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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                • #9
                  A drop from 3 feet accelerates it to about 10mph. The parachute just has to keep it falling more slowly than that. Also, drop it on a windless day.

                  Better yet... land the aircraft.

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                  • #10
                    look there are two possible solutions, one is use coconuts instead the other is just blend it all and blanket the town in a giant smoothie.
                    Interviewer: What is your greatest weakness?
                    Me: I expect competence from my coworkers.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Dreamstalker View Post
                      If a watermelon can't survive a drop from ~3 feet, I doubt a parachute would help from 20,000.
                      A drop from 3 feet, at least a watermelon would still be edible. Just scoop and serve (grits included ).

                      A drop from 20,000 feet would just result in mist. Might smell nice . . . as long as it didn't hit someone.

                      Hmm. Is the red watermelon juice or human juice ?
                      They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Sapphire Silk View Post
                        A drop from 20,000 feet would just result in mist. Might smell nice . . . as long as it didn't hit someone.

                        Hmm. Is the red watermelon juice or human juice ?
                        Watermelon Juice -- 10 bottle caps
                        Strange Juice -- 15 bottle caps
                        The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                        "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                        Hoc spatio locantur.

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