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Rapscallion vs the Beauty Parlour

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  • Rapscallion vs the Beauty Parlour

    HYHBT saved this one, and I recovered it from Google.

    I didn't know when I was well off...

    *****************

    Rapscallion
    Front End Clerk

    Site Supporter
    From: UK, behind a counter
    Registered: 10-25-2003
    Posts: 702

    We have an attitude problem. We're proud of it.

    Let me start by describing our doorway. The door is always held back by a wedge, save in the coldest of weather. By Health Department decree, we have a chain screen dangling from its top. Each strand of chain is relatively light, only becoming weighty when you try to carry the lot. It's designed to prevent wasps etc entering, but we keep it up during winter to keep some heat in. The chain screen ends two inches from the ground and has provided us with endless entertainment as people try to choke themselves out of the gene pool. Suffice it to say, it does not take much to get through this, but people entertain us on a regular basis.

    Please remember this chain screen. It's slightly relevant to the tale.

    For a little more background information, we have a beauty salon directly above us. Some of the foulest local harridans spend fortunes there, looking no different when they leave. The staff have an interesting attitude. You see, the owner bought a 'laser hair removal system' roughly two or three years ago. If you want any laser hairs removed, you know where to go.

    The owner caught me outside when it was being delivered and asked if I could help them carry it up the stairs. She made the mistake of pointing out that it cost either twelve or fifteen thousand pounds (I forget which, exactly, but it's a shitload of cash).

    "I'm not insured," I told her.

    "But it's not heavy!"

    "It's still expensive. I'm not carrying it."

    The laser system apparently works rather well. The only problem is that they need ice to cool the skin once a hair has been removed. Now the fun begins.

    They need ice. We have freezers. They can afford a machine at that price, but they don't have a freezer. I've seen their prices. They obvious cannot afford a freezer.

    Sorry - slipped into sarcasm mode for a sentence there.

    The owner asked if she could keep a small tub of water in our freezer for ice. Fine. This turned, as the seasons rolled by, into their members of staff just wandering into the back of our shop to get the ice.

    No please, no thank you, no may I, and no by your elbow. They just walk in, as if they own the place, and take the ice or bring back the melted result. They ignore pointed hints about how members of their staff take up two or three parking spaces with one car, because we don't really matter. They wander in, ignoring the customers, and demand change from our till. Once again, no please or thank you was to be heard. They stopped after being told they would not get it, but they still need the ice.

    Once or twice a week, in they come to take ice away or to bring a tub of water back. They just walk through without asking permission. They caught him in the toilet this last week (small shop, everything's compact). They frequently walk in on me as I'm having my food.

    The Boss once told them he would have to charge them - you can tell he was getting annoyed by this.

    "It doesn't cost you anything," one said, airily waving at him.

    "Then you make it."

    "But we don't have a freezer!"

    "Costs something then, doesn't it?"

    Matters came to a head last night. One of them returned (as usual) some food she'd bought. They don't get much, but they return over half of it. Another took the ice at the same time. We went earlier than usual - mostly because there were no shoppers around.

    The newsagent reports that they came to him to put the water in his ice cream freezer.

    "It's turned off," he told them.

    "What do you mean it's turned off?" they cried, appalled at this.

    "Some bastard unplugged it two weeks ago," he explained. "All my stock melted, and I've not bothered restocking since it's winter."

    They came in today. The first girl stopped as she almost entered the back of our shop.

    "Where are you going?" the Boss demanded.

    "I'm going to your freezer," she said, not comprehending basic manners.

    "You're not."

    It didn't take long for her to realise that she wasn't getting anywhere.

    The second one tried an hour or so later. I was on the phone (in the doorway to the back room) taking an order, and the Boss was serving J - the manageress of the local dry cleaning shop. J hates customers with a passion, even having people claim that their suntan came off on their clothes, "but it's not a fake suntan - I got this at the beach - it's not from a bottle." If she had internet access, I'd point her here.

    Anyway, the Boss bellows his challenge once more. "Where are you going?"

    Girl two stops, dumbfounded. "Into the back to make ice."

    "No - I'm stopping you doing that." He proceeds to elaborate why to J, who stares at him for a while.

    "I'd never go in the back of someone else's shop without permission," J says rather loudly.

    Girl two was not happy. I was still taking the order on the phone, though I was starting to smirk. Girl two stormed out, flouncing quite effectively. She snarled something about how we had 'attitude problems' and managed to slam the chain curtain.

    I said the chain curtain was slightly relevant. I'll repeat it - she managed to slam the chain curtain.

    Are we good or what?

    Rapscallion

    ------
    Rapscallion
    Front End Clerk

    Site Supporter
    From: UK, behind a counter
    Registered: 10-25-2003
    Posts: 702

    Things have developed with the beauty salon above us.* The owner came in to see the Boss yesterday, but he had just closed the door on the toilet (like you do), and she claimed he was avoiding her.* If she doesn't close the door when going to the toilet, I want commission on the ticket sales.* Unfortunately, there is a market for that sort of thing - but money is money.

    Today, however, she managed to speak to him.* Well, she started by confronting, claiming that he was very rude, especially in front of a client of hers.* He pointed out that his staff walked in on him while he was in the toilet (he had to have the door open because I was out of the shop, and he wanted to hear if anyone came in).

    "She didn't tell me that!"

    Fancy that.

    She tried another tack - attempted blackmail.

    "We buy a lot from you," she persisted.

    "No you don't," the Boss said, grinning broadly.

    The truth can hurt.

    She ended up wheedling.* She wandered out for a minute, and the Boss went off to the bread shop to gloat - just as he usually does.

    The owner of the salon came back with the tub of water.* She started to beg me for permission to use the freezer.

    "It's his freezer," I repeated time and again.* "You'll have to ask him."

    "Where is he?" she demanded, sloshing the tub of water dangerously near my laptop.

    "I reckon he's leching in the bread shop," I guessed (accurately, but it was still a guess).

    "I'm not going there to ak him!"

    I pondered the fifteen or so yards between our door and that of the bread shop.* "He did," I said, smiling.

    "How about if I put it in this freezer?" she said, pointing at the display freezer in the middle of our shop display.

    "Still his."

    "But I need some ice for tomorrow, and I haven't been able to get a small ice-making machine anywhere," she whined.

    I watched her with interest.* "Oh," I said.

    "Please?"

    This was the first time either the Boss or I had heard that word from anyone up there in two years or so.* "Still his freezer - you'll have to speak to him."

    "The newsagent said he'd let me use his," she said.

    Why wasn't she there, then?* "Interesting," I noted.* "After some bugger turned his freezer off, he said he wasn't going to restock until the weather was much warmer."

    She left, and I suspect another visit in a few hours.* I'll have to tell her that the local Threshers (liquor store for those in the US) and the convenience store do ice for people.* She needs about three ice cubes of ice.* Their price is about £1.70 for two kilos.

    Maybe I sound vindictive, but I'm smiling.

    Rapscallion
    ------

    Front End Clerk

    Site Supporter
    From: UK, behind a counter
    Registered: 10-25-2003
    Posts: 702

    Gah!* Apologies, but I forgot the funniest part about this.

    When she was whinging and begging on Wednesday or Thursday, she got around to asking who was going to take over our premises when we go later this year.

    The Boss told her it would probably be food related, just so the planning permission is easier.

    What he didn't tell her is that it's going to be some sort of fast-food place.

    Rapscallion

    *********
    No idea where the asterisks came from in the original, but...

    Rapscallion
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