Done; the restore points I had all included the problematic update, so I can't tell for sure if it worked (update history is blank, and while I'm being told there are no installed updates it also says I'm up to date). One new thing I noticed is that my AV/firewall won't start so there's a possibility that I had some scumware I didn't catch and the system restore restored it as well...
Yup, something called Widgi (allegedly a toolbar, although I'm not seeing any toolbars installed anywhere but that doesn't mean anything).
ETA: Holy cats this thing is a pain. I think I got it all. SpybotSD couldn't remove a few registry hooks, and it was prevented from running on boot so I had to find the keys and do it by hand. The folders it created were easy to find though; a company called Spigot. Hopefully this solved it; we shall see.
ETA again: The update that started this whole thing hasn't tried to install again, so I'm not sure if that was related or not.
"Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor
Last edited by Dreamstalker; 06-08-2012 at 03:29 AM.