Parent question

[Aethian]

I understand the "Don't talk to strangers." rule. I remember getting that pushed into my head from Kindergarten on up. One thing about it was back in 85 part of that was its okay to talk to police officers, firemen, mailman/woman, cashiers. That and it was also okay to return the "Hello" or "Have a nice day" salutations.

When did it become, "Run away from the mailman/woman while screaming for Mom cause the mailman said hi while walking by"???

If it was just one kid I would put it up to a phobia of some sort or something but this has been happening more frequently. One of my coworkers was told that after ten years she has to find a new lunch spot because the school has told the kids that she is a child molester and a danger. Kinda hard for her to find a new spot when she was eating lunch at her own home that is across the street from where she once went to school. I've had parents tell me that I need to not say a dang word to their kids because the kids don't know me and they should know better.

Have we gotten that paranoid? Has it really come to the idea we can fit your four foot high, 50-90 lb kid into our satchels (that maybe hold 20 lbs max) that were going to get away with them? Our trucks also are quite noticeable and are signed out to us everyday so the post office knows when one isn't where it's supposed to be. Not only that but all of our trucks are GPS tracked now.

I just don't understand. It's sad to think that my once proud profession is something to be feared.

[mjr]

I get what you're saying.

An example that I like to use is Halloween.

All year long we tell kids not to talk to strangers, don't take candy from strangers, etc.

Except on Halloween.

Halloween is more like, "Sure! Go up to that house that you don't know, knock on the door, and ask whoever answers for candy!"

[MoonCat]

Halloween is more like, "Sure! Go up to that house that you don't know, knock on the door, and ask whoever answers for candy!"

Not where I live. The big thing now is to have a party in school or in church. Even the neighborhoods that "allow" trick-or-treating do it before it actually gets dark. Some of the suburbs have tried to issue actual rules about what time it should be done.

I find it very sad. I've seen one of my favorite childhood traditions fade away due to paranoia.

[Mishi]

It really sucks that you and your friends/workmates are getting reactions like that. It's really unfair. I also don't understand why they'd go to such extremes? Unfortunately, kids are more likely to be abused by people that they know, so we don't really do the 'stranger-danger' thing. We prefer to explain that they have the right to feel safe (the basic stuff about how their body is theirs along with not forcing them to interact with people that they don't like) and that if they feel uncomfortable with someone to talk to us. Sure, the kids know not to go off with anyone or tell them where we live or where they go to school, but they chat to just about everyone that we meet and I don't see that as a problem. It gives them a chance to practice good manners and gives them self-confidence.

[AnaKhouri]

That's bizarre. I can see how it might be confusing for kids to be told, "Don't talk to strangers EXCEPT these people and on Halloween etc etc." So maybe some kids didn't hear 'potstal worker' on the list and just freaked out, but that doesn't explain the overly-paranoid parents.

My kid is only 4 but I have told him not to go anywhere with or accept anything from strangers. Saying hi is OK, but so far anyplace he goes he has an adult with him, so it hasn't really come up.

And who the hell is telling your co-worker she can't eat in her own home while school is in? The school? The cops? I'd tell them to fuck off, I'll do what I please in my own house.

[Aethian]

And who the hell is telling your co-worker she can't eat in her own home while school is in? The school? The cops? I'd tell them to fuck off, I'll do what I please in my own house.

From what I understand to not get the dogs riled up she would sit outside her truck while it was parked in the drive and just enjoy the day if it was nice out. Apparently the person who said this is a office worker/teachers aide.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Not where I live. The big thing now is to have a party in school or in church. Even the neighborhoods that "allow" trick-or-treating do it before it actually gets dark. Some of the suburbs have tried to issue actual rules about what time it should be done.

I find it very sad. I've seen one of my favorite childhood traditions fade away due to paranoia.

I never got trick-or-treaters in my last apartment; though we were on the second floor so that may have been part of the reason (though I didn't see many out and about in the complex on Halloween, either). I've only been in my current place for one Halloween, and that was right after Hurricane Sandy, which basically got Halloween canceled around here (trick-or-treating was postponed until later in the week, but there was still a curfew so I doubt many people went out), so I don't know what the normal traffic is around here.

I know my former roommate's school did "trunk or treat" in the parking lot (she teaches at a Catholic school).

[hinakiba777]

Until I was in junior high or high school I only ever trick or treated with my dad. I live in the middle of no where, so I can't just go door to door. So instead he would drive me around. So everyone I met was someone that my parents knew personally.

I was always a naturally shy kid (I really think I have an anxiety disorder) so talking to anyone, freaked me out. I never ran away screaming, but again, I was pretty much always with a parent when I wasn't at school, an extracurricular, or the babysitters.

I don't interact with enough young strangers to notice if kids and parents are that paranoid here. Though I kind of worry that when I finally get my B. Ed the same thing will happen to me that happened to a friend's colleague. (They are both teachers)

It turns out that sometime between the start of school and parent-teacher that he said hi to one of his students in a store. The parent, not knowing they were a teacher, told the child to NEVER speak to that person again, EVER. As they were probably dangerous. So the kid started getting in trouble for not participating in class, until a the parents got called in and learned the "stranger" they had warned their seven year old about was their teacher.

I sadly never got the follow up to that story.

[Sandman]

If that was me and i found out someone was saying i was a child molester i would be suing them into the Stoneagestoneage

[AccountingDrone]

From what I understand to not get the dogs riled up she would sit outside her truck while it was parked in the drive and just enjoy the day if it was nice out. Apparently the person who said this is a office worker/teachers aide.

If that was me and i found out someone was saying i was a child molester i would be suing them into the Stoneagestoneage

If I were her, I would actually have words with the school system, and tell them flat out that it is her drive way, she is legally sitting there having lunch and they can pack sand. If someone sends the cops over more than once, she will sue them for harassment.

[Aethian]

They have never sent the cops, nor has anyone talked to her directly. But they did snip off their noses to spite their faces. See with schools we bend the rules as much as we can for summer break. Ie holding the mail for more then 30 days.

She is not only the one who lives right there but after lunch by about a half hour or so she is delivering the schools mail. They have stupid rules on how our post office is supposed to deliver it. Supply catalogs are supposed to be separated, first class mail for the school itself should be banded, it can't be delivered after 1.

Now those "requests" can be semi followed but after the word got out about the dangerous person we, as a office, don't give that school any slack, nor do the requests get followed everything is tossed into a tub and delivered like that. In the summer they better have someone turn in a hold card and pick up the mail. They did forget this last summer and like with any uninformed closing or vacancy we followed the rules, 10 business days held and then things started getting sent back.

The district got word that way and had words but its changed nothing. The exchanges between carrier and school are icy and almost to the position of being mean. It's kinda funny when the other secretaries in the area laugh at the stupidity of this school when they know they can make a unusual request and if its something we can do we will.