You Talk to Your Mother Like That?!?

[crazyofficeclerk]

I work in a small chain of grocery stores. The stores I have worked in are smaller and are used by a lot of elderly people because they are quick in and outs. I can't tell you how many times I have stepped in when someone is treating someone else badly. I usually step in way before it gets as bad as it did in the op. In most of the situations that I have had, the person doesn't realize what their behavior is like. Others have come back in and thanked me for stepping in. Only once did it not work, but since I knew the grandmother, I wasn't worried.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Yes, true, it was a busy, world falling around my ears day and I got impatient sighs and taps from the other customers, but y'know what? Fuck them. Getting mad at a slow old woman does NOTHING but make you and her upset.

Thank you. So true, and you rock.

[ralerin]

Yay I rock!

[BethB]

Working where I do, I see this ALL THE BLEEP-ING TIME!!! Daughters telling their mothers what to do, don't buy that, you need this, that's not necessary, ect. It's annoying. Had one daughter belittle her mom over the amount of money she spent on groceries and such. If Mom wants to spend more money on brand name as opposed to generic, IT'S HER FLIPPING CHOICE!!! You may want the cheap crap but she doesn't. If she wants to spend HER money on a $20 DVD, that's HER choice too. She's an adult and can make a decision that will in no way affect the rotation of the planets. Treating her like a 5 yr old is NOT acceptable. It's just....grrrrrrrr!!!!

[arminius58]

Given that the elderly lady remembered better than the daughter what was in the box, and the way the daughter kept reminding her of stuff that she's "forgetting". I would almost think that the daughter is trying to convince her mother that she needs to be put in a home. If she keeps reminding her of her "inefficencies" it will be easier to get the elderly woman in there without as much of a fuss, and the daughter can convince herself that she did the "right" thing.

[EvilEmpryss]

Beth, when I hear that crap I'm reminded of one of my brothers-in-law. He's determined that there will be an inheritance when my mother-in-law dies, and has made those comments in the past. He doesn't want her spending all her money now or there won't be anything left when she dies. Jackass.

Arminius, I think you may be right. I'm of two minds on it, though. On the one hand, a good home would be a relief for her: people who won't belittle her, she'll have consistent meals, activities, etc. On the other hand, the daughter might not put her in a good home, and her problems would only be worse.

[LadyAndreca]

Beth, when I hear that crap I'm reminded of one of my brothers-in-law. He's determined that there will be an inheritance when my mother-in-law dies, and has made those comments in the past. He doesn't want her spending all her money now or there won't be anything left when she dies. Jackass.

My in-laws' family was like that. My father-in-law's brother didn't want a THING to do with taking care of his mother, or dealing with her alcoholism (she thought she was drinking socially), or taking her in when she was too weak to live alone (especialy combined with the alcoholism). He wouldn't even TALK to her unless they needed money, and she always gave it to him because she felt obligated to help her son out of sticky spots because she wouldn't be around much longer to need her money. Then when she started showing real signs that she actually wasn't going to be around much longer, he realized she might leave him out of the will in favor of the son that always took care of her and took her in and was always around for her to interact with. And it was DISGUSTING how much he suddenly wanted to visit her and suck up to her...

I don't know how it actually turned out when she died...none of my business, really. But it was disgusting to watch while it lasted.

[Bagga]

Maybe we should all read or reread this:

When I Am Old.


When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me,
And I shall spend my pension
on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals,
and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired,
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells,
And run my stick along the public railings,
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens,
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat,
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go,
Or only bread and pickle for a week,
And hoard pens and pencils and beer mats
and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry,
And pay our rent and not swear in the street,
And set a good example for the children.
We will have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me
are not too shocked and surprised,
When suddenly I am old
and start to wear purple!

Jenny Joseph