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For cryin' out loud, lady, buy the CD

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  • For cryin' out loud, lady, buy the CD

    I'm at the counter at a Johnny Rockets in a food court when someone starts pounding on the surface. BANG - bang bang - BANG - bang bang - BANG...

    I lean back enough to see a large woman beating on the table with a fist that clenches a spoon. A moment later, she starts kicking at the foot bar that runs the length of the counter - TOOM - toom toom - TOOM - toom toom...

    She's got her head back and she's tossing her hair from side to side. She was drumming, or trying to drum, in time to the music on the jukebox. She never quite got it right, but she did summon a waitress over to turn the volume up. Now the music is competing with the rubbish Muzak the mall pipes in, and it's a losing battle on both sides. Not that this woman notices. She's pounding on the counter all the harder. Everyone at the counter was staring, wide-eyed, at this oblivious woman who's now shaking her head back and forth and hammering on both counter and foot bar as if trying to rip them loose. (I might have said something but I was about five fries away from leaving, so it didn't seem worth it.)

    The weird thing was, not only was she out of time to the music, she couldn't even match her own rhythm. The foot bar seemed to be hustling to keep up with the spoon, and overtook it on occasion. She did, however, manage to match the resonant frequency of the counter. Ketchup bottles, napkin holders, and silverware started wandering around on their own. The waitress made a dive for a salt shaker that was about to jump for it. She's banging her head like a stoner at a Metallica concert, face red, eyes squeezed shut, blissful with the ignorance of the damage she might be causing.

    It wouldn't have been so bad if the song was actually some kind of transcendant musical experience. What inspired this paroxysm of musical ecstasy?

    "Cheeseburger in Paradise" by Jimmy Buffett.

    Love, Who?

  • #2
    Do they still do the ridiculous dances and ignore the customers who are waiting to be served? We stopped going because of that. The food is good, the music is good, but if we want a burger with a 50s/60s theme, we'll go to Cheeburger Cheeburger.
    Random conversation:
    Me: Okay..so I think I get why Zoro wears a bandana
    DDD: Cuz it's cool

    So, by using the Doctor's reasoning, bow ties, fezzes and bandanas are cool.

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    • #3
      It would take all I had not to find my lost shaker of salt and wing it at her head.
      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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      • #4
        Quoth fma_fanatic View Post
        Do they still do the ridiculous dances and ignore the customers who are waiting to be served? We stopped going because of that. The food is good, the music is good, but if we want a burger with a 50s/60s theme, we'll go to Cheeburger Cheeburger.
        Naw, but Texas Roadhouse does that. I figure putting up with one minute of line dancing is worth it for a Texas Roadhouse ribeye steak.

        I have a soft spot for retro-diners. Though, that spot is softer for genuine ones like the Pullman car on Exchange or Moody's out on Route One rather than faux-chrome efforts like Johnny Rockets. Good burgers, though. And I honestly don't know anywhere else in town where I can buy a MALT.

        Love, Who?

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        • #5
          "The beat goes on, and I'm so wrong" - Frank Zappa, Dancin' Fool
          Aliterate : A person who is capable of reading but unwilling to do so.

          "A man who does not read has no advantage over a man who cannot" - Mark Twain

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          • #6
            The one in Hoboken, NJ, still does the dances. But their cooks are REALLY good so it's worth it. I have not seen them do the dancing at the one in the mall near me, but there's no ROOM to do it there.
            It's little things that make the difference between 'enjoyable', 'tolerable', and 'gimme a spoon, I'm digging an escape tunnel'.

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