A couple of pissy ones at the store
A guy came in, wanting change. I had change, but I didn't want to give him any. For one thing, I didn't want him to know that much was available in the till. Furthermore, if I'd given him change, I might not have had enough for the customers.
I suggested a nearby convenience store, where everyone gets change. He didn't like hearing that. As he stormed out, he turned to me and said, "If I'd bought something, you'd have given me change!"
Well, genius, that's because I would have given you back LESS money than you gave me, because you would have PURCHASED something with the bill you wanted me to change. Funny how that works, isn't it?
Later, a woman came in with her daughter. She wanted to purchase one item ... until I told her the price.
"No, it's NOT that price! It's [sale price]!" (Why is it that some people, when they think they've caught you in a mistake, act as if it's some sort of personal affront?)
"It's not [sale price]," I told her.
"It says so on the sign outside!" she insisted.
"It says [here I told her what it said]."
"No, it doesn't!"
I got the fucking sign and showed her what it said. Very clearly.
"Well, this isn't written well!" she huffed, and left without buying the item - which, even at full price, was easily one-quarter the price it would have been in a regular store.
Fine by me, baby. And please do let the cold door hit you very hard in the ass on your way out.