The disgruntled TV viewer...

[Chugach_PropHead]

Here's something pretty funny (in my opinion) that happened a little while back at the tv station where I work. Being a media outlet, I'm sure you can imagine the kinds of calls we receive on a regular basis. For the most part, if anyone watching our channel can't see or hear our programming, or operate their remote control, we get called up. So far, in my experiences, the absolute WORST of the worst are housewives calling up during the soap-opera block because whatever stupid reason. This story, however, instead deals with a crotchety old man that's not exactly the brightest candle in the rectory, and a chief engineer with a quick and sharp mind. Fortunately, I got to listen in thanks to the wonderous technology of the speakerphone...

Receptionist: Good morning, this is Channel X. How may I direct your call?
Old Man: Listen Young lady: I want to speak with an engineer- RIGHT NOW.
Receptionist: May I ask who is calling?
Old Man: You just put me through to the head engineer right away. You guys down there have some serious problems with your equipment or somethin'.
Receptionist: Uhh.. OK. I'm not sure if he's in right now, but I'll transfer you over anyway. You can always leave a message if he's not there.
Old Man: Fine, fine... Just put me through will ya?

So, the receptionist transfers the call to our chief engineer. He's a quirky and quick-witted guy in his late forties. He's got an intimate knowledge of all our broadcasting equipment, and generally dislikes speaking to anyone from outside the station, usually because 99% of the people that call him are boneheads that shouldn't be allowed to watch TV in the first place. Anyway, his phone rings and he picks up...

Chief Engineer: Yeah, this is Chief Engineer, can I help you with something?
Old Man: Damn right you can! Your channel has a lot of static on my TV. Fix it now!
Chief Engineer: Uhhh... Have you tried adjusting your antenna?
Old Man: Oh no you don't! Now you listen to me... I set up my antenna on top of my TV 15 years ago. I've ALWAYS gotten a clear picture from your channel, and now today, its full of static! There's absolutely nothing wrong with my antenna. Now you fix this right now!
Chief Engineer: Right... Well, let me tell you this. Every 15 years we go out and shift our broadcasting tower about 30 feet over from where it normally stands. So, you might have to adjust your antenna again to compensate for the move.
Old Man: Well, I don't know about that. You should still check your equipment.
Chief Engineer: Look. Just move your antenna around a little bit. I'm telling you that will fix it, OK?
Old Man: Well if it doesn't, you're gonna know about it!
Chief Engineer: Fine then... Bye.

The old man never called back.

Oh, and for those of you not familiar with broadcasting, the tower from which we broadcast our signal is in no way portable. Its a huge, immensely tall steel tower firmly anchored to the ground. This old geezer just had a hair up his rear or something and didn't want to just wiggle his old rabbit-ears like he should have in the first place. Yet another reason to cast your vote for my position of EarthKing. Once elected, I promise to rid the planet of these moronic dolts in the messiest and most explosive manner possible!

[Barefootgirl]

Yet another reason to cast your vote for my position of EarthKing. Once elected, I promise to rid the planet of these moronic dolts in the messiest and most explosive manner possible!

With all due respect, I want to vote for your Chief Engineer to be EarthKing. He can drop broadcast towers on recalcitrant idiots.

[PuckishOne]

With all due respect, I want to vote for your Chief Engineer to be EarthKing. He can drop broadcast towers on recalcitrant idiots.

And then, 15 years later, he can pick them up and do it again.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I have worked in television for many years, and I have learned one inarguable truth: People who call television stations are, pretty much to a man, a bunch of whackjobs.

[Crosshair]

That was good thinking on his part. Got the "problem" solved quick. I worked at a TV station years ago and yea, you would get some interesting stuff. Like the one time that the 5PM news anchor, for his Friday comedy skit, made a boblehead of himself. (This was during the boblehead craze a few years ago.) Basicly, the segment said that since everyone was making bobleheads that he should make one. They then cut to the boblehead. He then said, "For only $19.95 you can own the Terry Dullum boblehead. All proceeds go to the Terry Dullum early retirement fund." You could hear the laughs from the control room in the studio. We spent the next 45 minutes answering all four phone lines with people wanting to buy the Terry Dullum boblehead.

Then there was the time I had to RUN from a director when we FUBAR'd a newsroom segment. (As in chasing me, wanting to do bodily harm to me kinda running.) It turns out it wasn't my fault, someone from earlier in the day hadn't reconnected the audio lines and I only took care of the video. I hid in the broom closet until a co-worker came and told me that it wasn't my fault and it was safe to come out. The dirrector apologized and chewed out the person whose fault it was the next day. The dirrectors where really unappriciated and overworked.

Ah, that was a fun job.

/Got to meet Mitch Hedberg when I worked there.

[cpux]

Still, you have to love the fact that there are still those out there who see the television as a magic picture box. It sure makes for some funny stories.

[Phone Jockey]

With all due respect, I want to vote for your Chief Engineer to be EarthKing. He can drop broadcast towers on recalcitrant idiots.

Yes indeedy! Chief Engineer for EarthKing!

[Tanasi]

Last year or maybe the previous I ferget, a local TV station put up an incredibly tall tower for their regular signal as well as HD. The tower also has several other transmitters on it for radio stations and what not. During construction they placed a really bright strobe on top (I mean really bright). The paper ran a story on the tower (front page above the fold) how tall it was going to be, etc. An aquaintance at the station said they had received several calls about the brightness of the light asking them to turn it off at night or at least turn it down. There was calls to 911, the mayor (both city and county), national guard, the governer and letters to the editor.
The stobe they have on it now isn't as bright. I have seen some fool in a Cessna fly between the guy-wires and the tower on another tower. Luckily no one was hurt and the fool lost his PPL and the FFA confiscated his aircraft.

[HYHYBT]

I called a TV station once. The end of 1994, a channel that had been independent was getting CBS, and showed a phone number for questions about the new schedules. I called to find out whether they would still carry Family Feud, since its slot would be filled by one of the soaps.

I hope that doesn't make me a whackjob

(The answer was yes, at 10AM, yay! though it was still off the air at the end of the season)