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My Worst Customer Ever! By Lulu

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  • My Worst Customer Ever! By Lulu

    Thanks to XCashier for saving this one for us!

    Hiya all, I've lurked for ages and finally felt inspired to relate this
    tale of idiocy today!

    So, a lil background on the situation, I work in a small independent
    bookshop in a teeny weeny, open air shopping centre. We share the centre
    with a WH Smith's and a supermarket that both also stock books and it's
    far from unusual for customers to confuse where they brought things and
    who they ordered things from. The town has a bit of a reputation for
    having especially weird customers which I can assure you is completely
    true! This particular situation occurred in Jan of last year and has
    become so legendary amongst the shopping centre staff that it's still
    spoken of now!

    Now because the shop is a small one, there are only 3 members of staff,
    the manager, me and a Saturday girl. I run the place on my own every
    Monday. It was a normal Monday, nothing out of the ordinary up until
    after lunch. I just got back from my lunch break and I see this regular
    customer (frail little elderly German lady) coming up to the door, Safeway
    bag in hand. My hearts already sinking because I just KNOW whatever
    she's got in that bag she's going to want to try and return (it's January
    remember, after-xmas returns at their peak) and undoubtedly I will have
    to turn her down because she won't have a shred of proof of purchase
    and the store policy is no refunds unless damaged/mis-printed, exchange
    only with proof of purchase OR GET SACKED. This policy is CLEARLY marked
    on the counter, and at xmas time, we ALWAYS tell the customers they
    MUST keep receipts if they want us to exchange at a later date. The
    management is VERY hot on this, and to be fair, I can see why, they work on
    teeny margins and one or two books refunded could make a huge difference
    to their ability to pay the bills.

    Lady comes up to the counter, explains that she'd brought the book as a
    present for her husband and he didn't like it, could she get a refund.
    Was very polite and lovely as she always was. I explained that I
    couldn't refund her, but if she had some proof of purchase I could exchange
    the book for her or give her a credit note instead. Naturally, she had
    nothing to prove it came from us, so I told her I'd ask the manager
    about it the next day, took her name and number and said I'd call her when
    I'd spoken to the manager, perhaps something could be sorted out for
    her because she was a regular customer. She leaves happy and I assume all
    is well, I'd talk to the manager, we'd sort something out.

    About ten minutes later, I see this huge great bloke heading for the
    shop with the same bag under his arm. He's got to be 6 foot something and
    built like a tank, looks to be quite elderly, but still spry enough to
    slam the door open and stomp up to the counter. He drops the bag on the
    counter, tells me he understands I'd refused his wife a refund, and
    that he didn't find the "contents of the bag amusing". He then went on to
    rant a bit and demand that we refund his wife her £9.99.

    Despite the fact that he's leaning over the counter at this point and
    sticking fingers at me, pointing and getting into a strop, I tell him
    that I'd explained to his wife that I couldn't refund, but that I'd be
    happy to exchange with proof of purchase, I also went on to explain that
    I'd told his wife I was going to speak to the manager and hopefully
    sort something out. What followed has become legendary in my shopping
    centre...

    Him: "My WIFE brought me the book. She says it came from here. "
    Me, already sensing upcoming fun: "Yes sir, I understand that, but I
    need to have some proof of purchase so that I can process the..."
    Him, cutting me off and thumping hand down on desk: "Are you calling my
    wife a liar?"
    Me, taking a step back so that he's not actually able to reach me over
    the desk: "No sir, I'm attempting to tell you the store policy as it
    was explained to your..."
    Him, cutting me off again, brandishing the book and leaning on the
    counter: "I demand to speak to your manager!"

    I explain that the manager isn't in that day; she'd be back the next
    day as I'd already explained to his wife, and that he was welcome to come
    back and speak to her then. He fumes for a couple of seconds, still
    brandishing the book.

    Him, screaming by this point: "THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! USE YOUR
    INITIATIVE AND GIVE ME MY REFUND NOW!"

    By this point, I'm getting kind of tired of being pointed and shouted
    at, and the only other customer left in the shop was hiding in the far
    end of the shop with her clearly scared small children. So I tell him
    that I can't give him a refund and that he's welcome to speak to the
    manager about the situation the next day if he'd like to, but I'd like him
    to leave the premises now as his behavior was unacceptable.

    He stomps about between the counter and the doorway screaming his head
    off about how the book is useless to him, he demands his precious
    refund, I called his wife a liar, he was going to get me sacked etc. I'm
    getting quite shaken about this mainly because I can't say to him what I
    want to and secondly, because this guy was huge and leaning over the
    counter really threateningly. I'm only 5ft 5, having some bloke who's 6ft
    pounding on my counter makes me feel threatened...call me strange...

    And then he came up with the clincher that made me snap...
    Me: "Sir, I'm just trying to do my job, please stop shouting at me or I
    will be forced to call security."
    Him, literally SCREAMING, red faced and thumping the desk: "Well you're
    not very good at it are you, you useless girl! I'm NEVER shopping here
    again!"

    I lost my temper, I'd been as good to the wife as I could have been, I
    can't authorize exchanges without proof of purchase, I did my best for
    her! I ordered him to leave right then and immediately called centre
    security. He watches me on the radio, he's still shouting and screaming,
    totally unaware of anything but his temper tantrum. I turn to put the
    radio back on the receiver and just catch him out of the corner of my
    eye as he picks up the book and literally flings it at my head. I move
    JUST in time cos I caught him moving, and cos it's a hardback, it hits
    the wall behind me and dents it he threw it that hard. It was close; I
    felt the breeze past my face let's put it that way!

    I think he finally saw the look of shock on my face cos he stormed out
    after that without a word, I go after him with the security radio in my
    hand and meet the guard at the door, point the guy out with a brief
    rundown on what happened and that there were lil kids int he shop at the
    time and I felt the guy may be dangerous in his current state of mind,
    the guard follows him and escorts him from the centre, still throwing a
    hissy fit. I call the manager and give her the full story, the guard
    writes up a report.

    Skip forwards a week. The moron's back. This time with a snotty letter
    that he hands to my manager and orders her to read. She does, and then
    asks him what she can do for him; he tells her nothing, that he just
    wanted to show her the letter before he sent it to the newspapers. My
    manager, who is amazingly fabulous, told him that he was very welcome to
    send it to whoever he liked now she'd read it! He again demands his
    refund, the manager, who is by now getting miffed at having to deal with
    the idiot, tells him the very MOST he's getting is a credit note or
    exchange since she could authorize them and I couldn't, which is exactly
    what I'd offered his wife to start with anyway! He throws another hissy
    fit in which he flat out tells me I'm a liar, that there was no one else
    in the shop and he was in no way threatening me (bear in mind he's
    shouting at me as he's saying this) and takes a credit note. We think
    FINALLY all is done...we're underestimating morons here...

    Skip a coupla days. The shopping centre manager appears in the shop
    saying that the moron had been up to see him demanding that he have me
    sacked, and wanting to know what I'd told the security guard about the
    incident. The guard, with the centre manager's permission, showed the
    moron the report stating that I'd had him kicked out because he was
    threatening and there were small children in the shop who were clearly scared.
    He goes off on a rant about how I'd had him "arrested" for being a
    pedophile! The centre manager kicked him out of his office and banned him
    from the centre!

    There's not a peep out of either him or the wife for about a week. Then
    my manager gets a phone call from the owner of the shop saying he's had
    a letter from the moron, demanding that I be sacked and listing his
    list of grievances as he'd shouted at me, and again saying that he'd been
    "arrested" because I'd accused him of being a pedophile. The owner,
    bless his heart, was calling because he didn't think it sounded like the
    sort of thing I'd say or do and wondered if it was one of the local
    whackos! My manager told him the situation, the owner wrote a beautifully
    neutrally worded reply basically saying that I was in the right and the
    shop policies had been carried out correctly.

    A week later, the wife came back in and couldn't even look me in the
    eye. She used her credit note to order a coupla books for her
    grandchildren and whispers pitifully to my manager she wasn't "allowed" to pick
    them up when I was at work because her husband her forbade her to speak
    to me. Apparently she picked them up about a week later and hasn't been
    seen since in the town. As for the moron, he seems to have given
    up...though I STILL have no idea what he was going on about with the getting
    arrested thing?!

    The real joke here....the name of the book all this was over... "Grumpy
    Old Men"
    "I don't want any part of your crazy cult! I'm already a member of the public library and that's good enough for me, thanks!"

    ~TechSmith 314
    HellGate: London
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