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  • How to get a visit from <Red Checkmark> corporate security

    Hell in a handbasket

    I got a call about a week ago from this guy who spent 20 minutes ranting at me about our company. You know when the first thing the customer asks is: "Are you an American Citizen?" it will probably go downhill from there.

    And it did.

    You see this particular one of those Patriotic, 'Merica loving types who was furious that our company had the audacity to offer a Spanish language option for our customers. He stated this was absolutely unecessary and unwarranted since everyone knows English is the national language of America (FALSE: America has NO official language), also, he spelled out the world English to me and managed to leave the H off it.

    So far, this call is switching back and forth between irritating and mildly amusing. No reason for security to step in...

    ...until he moved into straight up threat territory. So mad was he that we dare show respect to our Hispanic customers that he stated multiple times he would "burn the company down and all of you with it" if we didn't change the policy IMMEDIATELY. He also said we were all going to hell for not supporting our country, etc, etc.

    While he is ranting on and on, I peruse his account notes and see that he has called multiple time complaining about this and threatening our company and its employees.

    Well, that did it. I hung up the call right then and there, told my manager why I did what I did and helped him fill out a detailed report to pass along to corporate security.

    I doubt I will get any updates on the situation, but if I do, I will pass them along.

    A lack of planning on your part...

    I get this SO...MANY...FREAKING...TIMES I've managed to pretty much tune it out.

    The scenario is usually as follows: SC has a phone that doesn't work. I try to fix it. I realize it's a hardware issue that can't be fixed. No problem, it's under warranty, we can get you another phone in a few days at no cost to you.

    Instead of being THANKFUL that they can get a replacement $800 device at no charge to them, they go nuclear about OMG WTF will I do without a phone for 2-4 days???

    1. Conveniently, we offer express shipping, but it will cost you $15. Oh you don't want to pay that? So sad. No, I won't waive it for you because you're "Such a good customer".
    2. NOT my problem, bro. We're getting the phone to you as fast as we can.
    3. No, you can't just go to a <Red Checkmark> store to get one. I agree it would be great if we offered this, but we don't so stop asking.
    4. You run a business off your phone and have NO BACKUP PLAN for situations such as this?? Remind me never to buy anything from you.
    5. Got $20? Great! Go to the nearest Walmart, Best Buy, Dollar General, etc. and buy a <Red Checkmark> prepaid phone. It won't have all the bells and whistles that your Galaxy S8 but it will let you stay in communication with the outside world. (Of course then they get upset at me for having the audacity to suggest they'd have to PAY to fix their problem. )
    6. It might surprise you to know Mr. SC, that society functioned for centuries without cell phones. It will require a little more work on your part but it CAN be done.

    A mama's boy he ain't

    Similar scenario as above. Dude says he needs a new phone ASAP because he cares for dying mother and just can't be without. I inform of the $15 fee...

    SC: Uhhh...you know what? I think she'll be okay for a few days. Just go ahead and send it regular.

    Points for trying bro, but I've heard all these stories 1000 times over and I'm not believing yours one bit.

    People seem to think we can waive the fees and it won't matter. They don't seem to grasp that a $15 times dozens of waivers a day would mean significant loss for the company. We're tracked on our waivers. My incentive is to NOT give them unless absolutely necessary.

    Don't you morons have anything better to do??

    Multiple times a week we get these strange, random calls from 661 area codes. Sometimes they sing to us, sometimes they play recordings, sometimes they cuss us out, sometimes they start telling us useless information. We've gotten the go ahead from corporate to hang up on these calls as soon as we identify them but there appears to be no easy way to stop them. There's no obvious scamming going on here as they never ask for any info. They just waste my and my coworkers time.

    What...How...HUH???

    Here's a good one for the "This makes absolutely no sense" file. Guy contacted our company and was apparently misinformed by one of our chat reps on several issues. He claims we offered him three iPhone 8s at $100 a pop and also that we told him we carry a certain model of phone we actually don't.

    He does have chat logs, but the records don't clearly show we made the iPhone offer. In fact, it looks like the SC was trying to tie the rep up in knots and get her to agree she said something she never actually did. So management shot that offer down. As far as the phone we don't carry well, sorry bro, but we can't do anything about that.

    You'd think that'd be the end of it.

    But no, this guy calls back and manages to convince a supervisor to send a FREE GALAXY S9 because of all the grief we've caused him on the other issue. I'd like to pause here and say that I might have agreed with offering this dude a free phone or at least one at a discount because of the issues, but NOT one of our newest and most expensive models.

    So, you'd think that'd be the end of it.

    But no, the guy calls back again. He'd decided the S9 isn't quite right for him and now he wants a free S9+.

    NOT...a chance...in HELL.

    Rather than straight up tell this guy no, I decided to play him a bit at his own game, saying we needed to reach out to the supervisor who approved the initial exception to see if he would allow for this, since no one in our building is going to price override a nearly $1000 phone. He agrees to this.

    Here's the best part. The moron Supervisor who gave him the free S9 works at a center overseen by a woman I used to work for, one who does NOT put up with crap like this (sidenote: The center is an overseas center not run by <Red Checkmark>. Everyone of these centers has a <Red Checkmark> manager who oversees it, in this case that was my former boss. I wish I could have been there to see her tear a strip off that fool manager for all of this. It would have been glorious.

    Short but sucky compilation

    BG: Customer tells me he can't find his downloaded music on his new phone.

    Me: Okay and what did you use to download it?
    SC: The internet.

    ...

    Me: Okay, do you see where it says wifi?
    SC: Yes.
    ME: Good, go ahead and turn it off for me.
    SC: Turn what off?
    Me: The wifi.
    SC: Where does it say that?

    ARRRRGH.

    ...

    Me: What browser were you using to access the site?
    SC: It's an iPhone.
    Me: Okay, so Safari then?
    SC: No, I was using Google.
    Me: Oh, got it. Google Chrome then?
    SC: What? No. Just Google.

    ...

    Me: Okay, do you see a button that looks like a circle at the bottom of the screen?
    SC: No, I don't.
    ME: Tell me what you see down there.
    SC: I see a Triangle and a square...and a circle.
    Me:

    ...

    Me: Open up your app store for me please.
    SC: My what?
    Me: Your app store.
    SC: Not following you.
    Me: The place where you go to download apps.
    SC: Oh, you mean Google! Yeah, I can bring that up.
    ME. ...


    And done for now.
    "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

  • #2
    Common

    This is common in the US it seems, I am Canadian yet I would find 25% of the time that I visit the US for a week or more I will heard at-least one American complain about hearing Spanish being spoken.

    What do they teach in schools there, because I moved a lot when I was young I went to school in England, Jamaica and Canada. And in all those schools that America was officially discovered by the Spanish FIRST and unofficially the Dutch/Vikings/French - I don't remember the English listed as early discoverers - America started out SPANISH!

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    • #3
      ummm... I would hate to have told them that Leif Erikson beat the Spanish by a couple hundred years... But even that would have pissed off the SC because they didn't speak english.

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      • #4
        Bonus points if the <Red Checkmark> Red Checker is tall, cadaverous, and greets them when they answer their door with...

        "You rang?"
        I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
        Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
        Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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        • #5
          Lern 2 spel enlish moarn!
          - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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          • #6
            Whenever I hear of someone pulling the "I'm a good customer, gimme stuff" routine, I do have to wonder what exactly they think being a "good customer" means... Paying on time every time? The absolute bare minimum. Doing so for years and years, rather than just since you moved to this carrier 2 months ago in a fit of pique because the old one didn't consider you special enough to give you a free iPhone upgrade? Yeah, no.

            I can understand that not so many people keep their old phones around nowadays with the surge in popularity of getting a discount or cash in hand for recycling them, but if you run a business through your phone why wouldn't you keep a spare around?
            This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
            I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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            • #7
              Quoth dalesys View Post
              Bonus points if the <Red Checkmark> Red Checker is tall, cadaverous, and greets them when they answer their door with...

              "You rang?"
              Nope. I don't work for them.

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              • #8
                Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post
                Hell in a handbasket



                Multiple times a week we get these strange, random calls from 661 area codes. Sometimes they sing to us, sometimes they play recordings, sometimes they cuss us out, sometimes they start telling us useless information. We've gotten the go ahead from corporate to hang up on these calls as soon as we identify them but there appears to be no easy way to stop them. There's no obvious scamming going on here as they never ask for any info. They just waste my and my coworkers time.

                I'm so sorry, but an employee of a cell phone company that does not allow blocking of numbers via the phone (you have to go online, and can only block a few) complaining about spam calls had me ROFLMAO. If you and all your coworkers could get Red Checkmark to change this policy, we'd all be ever so grateful!
                Last edited by skeptic53; 04-25-2018, 08:09 PM.
                Some days, it's just not worth chewing through the restraints...
                TASTE THE LIME JELLO OF DEFEAT! -Gravekeeper

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                • #9
                  "A visit from corporate security"? That would be foolish of your company to have their employees go visit him. They'd call the police.

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