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  • The Unidentifiable Toilet Object and other stories

    So we all got a memo from the studio I do lyra (aerial hoop) at the other day and I figured it was worth summarising it here, since people are apparently bonkers. I also have a couple of other stories from reading through older memos.

    Unidentifiable Toilet Object
    So 95% of the folks attending the studio happen to be female. In addition, the building the studio is in happens to be quite old. This combination of factors resulted in one of the toilets getting backed up because someone flushed something down the toilet rather than putting it in the bin. The suggestions floating around were that it was either a tampon, sea sponge (apparently it's an old dancer trick to use a sea sponge instead of a tampon but not sure why ) or someone's er...deposit that might've been a tad too big. Either way, the person responsible now owes the founder $50 as she had to bribe my current instructor to fish it out. (Yes, they got it on video too for some reason )

    Yes you need to wear underwear!
    The studio has very few rules about what you can and can't wear to class. The minimum rule is shorts and a crop top/bra for pole dancing, leggings/tights and a crop top/bra for lyra and whatever's comfy for burlesque (footwear is either bare feet or socks for lyra, bare feet or low heels for burlesque and bare feet/heels for pole). Someone apparently opted to wear fishnet stockings to class (guessing lyra) with nothing underneath, resulting in what was described as "Christmas ham genitals" by the founder.

    Why I love this studio

    I'll keep this one short and sweet: act like a SC or an EW and you WILL get kicked out.

    You know what you signed up for!
    At the end of each term, they do a student showcase of performances, where everyone is in lingerie and whatnot. So of course they put out an email asking for interest. The event is also photographed and filmed.

    Apparently every single term however, they get an email from a girl doing burlesque to ask that certain photos are deleted. What photos are those? Basically any photos of the girl in question wearing pasties (that's about as far as they strip by the way). Yeah no, not gonna happen - you KNOW what you're getting into, if you do not want a photo of you wearing pasties circulating around the internet, DO NOT PERFORM.

    Landlord Fail
    This last story is an old one. Some lady tried to get into the student showcase performance once and then got shitty because she had to wait. So she complained to the local council about the place being "a house of debauchery" (so to speak). Council came out and demanded to see a certain piece of paperwork. Unfortunately though, the landlord for the building had failed to fill in said piece of paperwork correctly, so she nearly got shut down. They still let her run classes in the meantime, but she wasn't allowed to host the student showcase. So what does she do instead? Sets up the timetable for the final week with all "open" classes, turns it into a dress rehearsal (which is what they do anyway) and has the photographer film the students doing their routines.

    She did eventually get things going again, but seriously fuck that lady.

  • #2
    It makes it a lot more scary if they're Cornish pasties that you're wearing in the pics. And are Christmas ham genitals ones that are glazed,scored and studded with cloves ?
    The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

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    • #3
      I could see the fishnet stockings, especially the larger ones with a bigger 'grid' making your butt cheeks look like a scored ham. That is amazingly ridiculous to mentally picture...

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      • #4
        Quoth Minflick View Post
        I could see the fishnet stockings, especially the larger ones with a bigger 'grid' making your butt cheeks look like a scored ham. That is amazingly ridiculous to mentally picture...
        Yup. The studio does sell a few items (including the heels for pole dancing I mentioned in my OP) and one of those is fishnets, however they're a "smaller" grid since they're actually designed for dancing.

        That said, there is a VERY good reason why nearly everyone wears leggings/tights to lyra class - the hoops are covered in grip tape which really does hurt if you're rubbing up against it a lot

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