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How dare you give me cash

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  • #16
    Send him to the Texas Hold 'em tables for me. Guys like that are a gift from the Gambling Gods to a poker player like me...
    "That's too bad. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through."
    "What IS fun to fight through?"
    "Gardens. Electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."

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    • #17
      Quoth MadMike View Post
      I was thinking of the same thing, but couldn't remember the exact quote. I even tried to find a Youtube clip, but no luck.
      *Homer drops a peanut and goes fishing for it under the couch, only to pull up a twenty dollar bill instead*

      Homer: *disappointed* awww, twenty dollars.
      Homer's brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
      Homer: Explain how.
      Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services
      Homer: Woo hoo!

      (yes I watch the Simpsons waaay too much )
      "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

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      • #18
        Quoth KhirasHY View Post
        Send him to the Texas Hold 'em tables for me. Guys like that are a gift from the Gambling Gods to a poker player like me...
        Definitely. Guys around here would take umbrage over his view on cash then amazement then glee in taking his money at the hold em table.

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        • #19
          Quoth smileyeagle1021 View Post
          SC: This is just too confusing, you should just give people slot play rather than expecting them to know what to do with cash.
          If you don't know what to do with cash then you have failed as a member of modern society.
          I never lost my faith in humanity. Can't lose what you never had right?

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          • #20
            If he really doesn't know what to do with cash, he could always give it to me. I'll find a good use for it!
            If I make no sense, I apologize. I'm constantly interrupted by an actual toddler.

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            • #21
              Quoth smileyeagle1021 View Post
              SC: This is just too confusing, you should just give people slot play rather than expecting them to know what to do with cash.
              My brain just broke.

              Ooowww. The stupid . . . it hurts!
              They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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              • #22
                He's in a casino, he's earned points (presumably by playing the slot machines or table games), and he doesn't know what to do with CASH? What has he been gambling with all this time?

                Brain have HMCF error.
                Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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                • #23
                  If I'm not mistaken, this is how a slot machine is supposed to work.... You put dollar bills into the machine's bill acceptor, and then you play. Not that hard to figure out folks, slot machines have only been doing this since the dawn of time. Of course I don't think they take coins anymore, just bills.
                  However, I'm still surprised to this day that they don't have slots where instead of using cash, you would swipe your credit card, buy say $100 worth of credits, be charged a $5 fee for doing so, and then you play. When you are done playing, the machine would spit out a voucher for whatever remaining credits you have, IE if lost $20 then it would give you an $80 voucher to play on the other machines. No doubt if you did this though, lots more people would be maxing out their cards.

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                  • #24
                    Quoth BowserKoopa1 View Post
                    Of course I don't think they take coins anymore, just bills.
                    Considering they have nickel, dime, and quarter slots, I'm pretty sure that slot machines still take coins. They certainly did in 2005 when I was in Las Vegas. Perhaps some of our casino workers on CS.com can verify or refute this....

                    "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                    Still A Customer."

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                    • #25
                      Quoth Grendus View Post
                      He's at a casino. There's better than average odds that he can't do math.
                      Nothing wrong with your powers of deduction.

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                      • #26
                        Quoth Jester View Post
                        Considering they have nickel, dime, and quarter slots, I'm pretty sure that slot machines still take coins. They certainly did in 2005 when I was in Las Vegas. Perhaps some of our casino workers on CS.com can verify or refute this....
                        Not so sure about that. I went to Las Vegas last year. I saw no one feeding coins into the machines, heard no coins dropping into the trays below. Sure they have 1 cent, 5 cent, 10 cent, 25 cent, and 50 cent machines, but I saw no place to put in the coins. You simply put dollar bills into the bill acceptor, which converts it to credits. And when you cash out, it will print a voucher for how much you have left.

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                        • #27
                          If anyone gave me cash, the last thing I'd be doing is complaining about it.
                          Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

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                          • #28
                            If he doesn't want his cash, I'll give you my mailing address . . . What a moron.
                            The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

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                            • #29
                              New Years morning, early: "Kids, I want you to be very very quiet, go into your parents room, and mail all those funny pieces of green paper to me."
                              [/S.S.]

                              It actually worked!
                              I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                              Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                              Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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                              • #30
                                Quoth Jester View Post
                                Considering they have nickel, dime, and quarter slots, I'm pretty sure that slot machines still take coins. They certainly did in 2005 when I was in Las Vegas. Perhaps some of our casino workers on CS.com can verify or refute this....
                                I can refute that. Almost no casinos have slots that accept or dispense coins anymore. They do indeed have quarter, dime, nickel, and even penny slots, but you can only insert paper currency into the machine. How it works, say it is a quarter bet (we aren't going to get into multi-line yet, we're sticking to simple examples for now), you insert a dollar, the machine comes up and tells you that you have four credits (or spins). If you spin and lose, then you now have 3 credits displayed, if you spin and win the machine pays out not in quarters, but in credits (the pay tables are all stated as being an amount times bet, as an example, 777 may be a 10 times bet payout) and it adds it to the available credits display. Then when you decide to cash out, you hit the cash out button and the machine will at that time convert the credits back into the currency amount and print a ticket with that currency amount for you to take to another slot machine to continue your play there, a redemption machine to cash out or the casino cage to cash out. Multi-line, multi-denomination machines actually do use a very similar concept, just more complicated, a credit is equal to the smallest bet available on one line of play, so if it is a nickel machine, but you want to bet a quarter, and you want to do it on 9 lines, each spin will deduct 45 credits (5 credits per line times 9 lines, then if you win on one or more lines your payout is still done as a times bet payout on each individual line and then those amounts are totaled together and deposited into credits available).
                                This also explains the quirk of how you can look up your play history (okay, so most guests can't do this, and technically employees aren't supposed to do this for themselves, but when has that stopped anything...) you will see the coin in amount be upwards of 2 or 3 times what you actually put into the machine, because every time you win it adds the "coins" back into the machine.
                                If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

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