i'm calling my lawyer because your pool is closed!

[katzklaw]

so. i recently moved from the campground i was in up in WI, down to sunny FL. this particular campground is has been having off and on troubles with the swimming pool... i'm not really sure what's wrong, but somehow the pool is out of whack... alot. and it's ILLEGAL to have the pool open if the numbers are too far out of line. queue this morning's SC

SC walks in, i greet him with my typical cheerful "Morning!"
SC: what's good about it. pool's closed
me: (in a joking tone of voice) well, i actually only said "morning"
SC: *catbutt face* I've been speaking English since before you were born! (and this is important... why?) I spent alot of money to pay for your specials, why is the pool closed???
me: the chemicals are out of line. we can't have it open by law
SC: you better have it open. i paid alot of money. and you didn't do half the things over the weekend that you advertised! there was no DJ...
me: yes there was.
SC: i didn't see him
me: there was a DJ (random guest also in the store and my co-worker agrees, there was a DJ)
SC: well, the pool is closed. it better be open or i want a refund of all my money.

at this point my co-worker takes over and tells him that's not gonna happen. he threatens to call his lawyer and his lawyer will make us refund him. then he walks out, still muttering and carrying on...

at this point, my co-worker had a good laugh now that the guy is outside and can't hear us. she says "go ahead and call your lawyer. the OWNER of this place is a lawyer. good luck."


i can understand being irritated, but srsly... crap happens... he's gonna call the lawyer, lawyer is gonna call us and we're gonna say "couldn't legally have the pool open that day because chemicals..." and the lawyer is gonna bill him for his hour or so of work, and laugh in his face.

oh well. made notes on his reservation. maybe the manager will ban him from coming back. we can only hope

[Pixilated]

And his lawyer will have a good laugh as well, as he writes up his bill ...

[Grendus]

Meh, don't let it get to you. EW's like that tend to think the words "manager", "supervisor", "lawyer", and "I'm never shopping here" are magical, rather than realizing that wage slaves really don't give a shit.

[katzklaw]

o i ain't upset. like i said. we had a good LOL about it

[Sapphire Silk]

My response to "I'm calling my lawyer!" has always been,

"Good luck with that."

Shuts 'em up every time.

No lawyer will sue unless there are two things: a duty owed to the plaintiff, damages to the plaintiff, and the financial incentive to pursue those damages. It's so expensive to sue, that most lawyers won't bother for a piddly case.

In the OP's case, the duty was actually to close the pool; it must be safe to be offered. The owner isn't obligated to give a refund in that instance. If the pool were always closed, yet advertised, that would be false advertising and that's a different story.

[katzklaw]

lol. my co-worker basically told him exactly that... said go ahead call your lawyer. his response was basically "Don't tell me what to do!"

this from a dude that must be in is 50s-60s.

[mathnerd]

I was always amused at the customers that would threaten to sue us when I worked for a major bank. Honestly, do you know how many times we got threatened with that every hour? Go ahead. Have fun.

[PatchO'Black]

One of my responses to those who say they will sue and the like is with a statement that, since I am not authorized to speak on behalf of the company on legal matters, I will have to end the conversation/phone call, and they will have to have their lawyer contact our main office to get in touch with our legal department/lawyer. You can usually rely on them trying to backpedal at that point, still grumbling about poor customer service.

[Kit-Ginevra]

I bet the number of people who actually do go ahead and sue is a small percentage. And the number that win their case-smaller still...

[Automan Empire]

I had a guy threaten to sic his lawyer on me because work he ordered did not cure a particular unrelated problem, when this had already been explained before, during, and after the other repair.

I just smiled blithely and said, if you can get your lawyer on the phone at 6:00 on a Friday evening, you're a better man than I. After huffing and stomping around outside for a few minutes on his cell, the jig was up and he came in and paid his bill and left.

[fireheart]

One of my responses to those who say they will sue and the like is with a statement that, since I am not authorized to speak on behalf of the company on legal matters, I will have to end the conversation/phone call, and they will have to have their lawyer contact our main office to get in touch with our legal department/lawyer. You can usually rely on them trying to backpedal at that point, still grumbling about poor customer service.

This is likely the response that I'll be giving them.

[roxtar]

My father's company deals with a lot of "i'll call my lawyer" types. His response is usually to the effect of "Well, if you provide me with your attorney's name and contact information, I'll send over all of the relevant documentation and put him in touch with our attorney. That way we can get this resolved as soon as possible". He's yet to have anyone even respond with a name (because they're all bluffing and trying to scare you).

strange how many people who drive 15 year old clunkers and wear nothing but jerseys and sweatpants claim to have a lawyer on retainer.

[greensinestro]

And if you had let him go swimming without the proper chemicals, he'd sic his lawyer on you anyway. You can't win with people like this.

[RealUnimportant]

"I'm taking this to the authorities/my lawyer/[deity]!"

"That's your choice. As such, I am now unable to continue this discussion, leaving you shit out of luck with actually fulfilling your current demands any time before next Tuesday. Bye now!"

[AccountingDrone]

My father's company deals with a lot of "i'll call my lawyer" types. His response is usually to the effect of "Well, if you provide me with your attorney's name and contact information, I'll send over all of the relevant documentation and put him in touch with our attorney. That way we can get this resolved as soon as possible". He's yet to have anyone even respond with a name (because they're all bluffing and trying to scare you).

strange how many people who drive 15 year old clunkers and wear nothing but jerseys and sweatpants claim to have a lawyer on retainer.

<snicker> not only am I trained and certified to practice as a paralegal I actually do have a lawyer on retainer for the family trust ... and I am normally in a t-shirt and sweats unless I am intending to leave the house and actually see non family members

I like your father's response, I may take to using it if someone threatens me with siccing a lawyer on me.