*HEADDESK*

[Jay 2K Winger]

Just got this one from my new CW, "Wah" on our intra-Client IM system.

Wah: "This user just asked me how to turn off the computer......................"

I...

Just...

WARRRGGHBLBL!

The people who work here are supposed to be intelligent! How the fuck do they not know this?!

*sob*

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Wah: "This user just asked me how to turn off the computer......................"

Set it on fire.

It's the only way to be sure.

[KatherineB]

Surely throwing it out/through a window is more definitive!

[Jay 2K Winger]

Surely throwing it out/through a window is more definitive!

Not every office at The Client has windows available for such actions.

[Bandit]

THAT is one reason I always keep a nice, big hammer in the ol' Telecom Toolkit of Doom.

Sometimes, you need to apply the hammer to the phone, and sometimes you have to restrain yourself from applying the hammer to the (l)user.

But it's still an option.

Just saying.

B

[Cai1987]

To be fair, I actually had to Google how to shut down my new Windows 8 laptop...

but that was to shut it down through the SOFTWARE.

[Arcus]

I messed with the Windows 8 shutdown for half an hour before I finally figured it out. So far I'm the only one in my family that has. The battery is always dead because everyone just logs out and closes the laptop.

Sending that laptop with my niece when she goes to collage this fall. Can't wait. I'll be free!

[lordlundar]

THAT is one reason I always keep a nice, big hammer in the ol' Telecom Toolkit of Doom.

Sometimes, you need to apply the hammer to the phone, and sometimes you have to restrain yourself from applying the hammer to the (l)user.

But it's still an option.

Just saying.

B

You need to have your terms better established. It's not called a hammer, it's called a precision percussive calibration tool. That way, if you need a replacement, you can get the company to pay for it!

[Ophbalance]

This very much reminds me of BOFH. And lookit, there's a excuse calendar you can use for the day that can be imported into gCal http://www.bofhcalendar.com/

[Ironclad Alibi]

Surely throwing it out/through a window is more definitive!

[SC user] You want me to throw my computer through the Windows program on the monitor? How do I do that? [/SC user]

[lordlundar]

[SC user] You want me to throw my computer through the Windows program on the monitor? How do I do that? [/SC user]

That's where you grab some popcorn, remote in, turn on the webcam and watch them try.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Re: Windows 8...

We aren't using that OS, thank god. Most users are still on XP, and they're just now starting to roll out Win7.

But given that all the computers here can be shut down by PRESSING THE FUCKING POWER BUTTON....

WAAARRRGHGHBLBL

[sms001]

how to turn off the computer......................"

Dress entirely in beige.

Monochrome only highlights.

Use 'eMachine' as your chat handle.

"Not tonight honey, I have a BSOD."

"Let me just slip this AOL CD into you..."

Three words: Not enough RAM.

Use the wrong dongle.

Tell it "Thermal paste is for wussies."

Mention that its indexing structure looks a little FAT.

And the number one way to turn a computer off............................

Approach it with your 5 1/4 inch floppy!

[Jay 2K Winger]

Approach it with your 5 1/4 inch floppy!

Oh, come now, that's being overly generous toward these people.

It's only 3 1/2 inches.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Oh, come now, that's being overly generous toward these people.

It's only 3 1/2 inches.

But that floppy is hard.