It's the law!! I know my rights!!

[Phone Jockey]

I had one guy tell me that we couldn't send out the under $5,000 in his 401k (back in the day) because the law clearly stated that we "could not put him in harm's way." Well, the law also states that if you leave under $5k in a 401k, they can release those funds & tax them. Therefore, it's a good idea to roll them into an IRA or something. Jeez, call a tax advisor, you dip.

[Antisocial_Worker]

Every time a guest signs their registration at this hotel, they're signing a contract. That contract basically states that we are not liable for harm or injury done to your person or your belongings, and we can throw you out for any old reason we pull out of our butts.

We're allowed to do this. All the hotels are, and all the hotels do. One guest though, disagreed.

He read the terms above the line you sign, and, chuckling to himself, said, "Poor, poor, deluded Blah Inn." Thankfully though, he didn't make a fuss or inform us that he knew his rights. It would have almost been worth an incident though, if he'd been forced to realize how the law really works for hotels.

[Yossarian]

Oh boy, in banking we get all sorts of people who know the "law".

1. No, we are not required to cash the $500 check that your friend Jimbo wrote you when you've got $1.25 in your account.

2. No, we are not required to give you immediate access to the money you just deposited. Look up Reg CC...or, you can read it on every single sign we post saying "Funds deposited may be subject to hold".

3. Yes, we are allowed to charge you a fee to cash your welfare check, if you don't have an account with us.

4. If the coin machine is broken, we are not required to accept the thirty bags of mixed, unrolled coin you found in your closet.

Etc, etc.

[Crosshair]

4. If the coin machine is broken, we are not required to accept the thirty bags of mixed, unrolled coin you found in your closet.

Arrrrrrr, so me bounty not be good enough for ye scurvy dogs.

/Sorry, I had to.

[Jester]

Get to know the law.....or get to know the lawmen!

Every time a guest signs their registration at this hotel, they're signing a contract. That contract basically states that we are not liable for harm or injury done to your person or your belongings, and we can throw you out for any old reason we pull out of our butts.

We're allowed to do this. All the hotels are, and all the hotels do. One guest though, disagreed.

He read the terms above the line you sign, and, chuckling to himself, said, "Poor, poor, deluded Blah Inn." Thankfully though, he didn't make a fuss or inform us that he knew his rights. It would have almost been worth an incident though, if he'd been forced to realize how the law really works for hotels.

I am a bartender at a hotel, so don't have to deal with this, but one day, was witness to a rather interesting incident.

Two very intoxicated guests were at the front desk as I was walking by at the end of my bar shift. I had served them earlier in the day, but obviously they had had far more elewhere since then. Apparently, they were being loud, obnoxious, and abusive to the front desk manager, not to mention clumsily violent (i.e. knocking stuff over somewhat intentionally). The manager asked them repeatedly to lower their voices and watch their language, but they continued to curse, yell, knock stuff over, and act like all-around idiots. Having had enough of them, the manager told them they would have to leave the property. The following is my best paraphrasing of the converstations that ensued.

FIRST IDIOT: We are guests here!
SECOND IDIOT: We don't have to leave! We paid blankety blank to stay here, and damn it, you have to let us stay!
MANAGER: No, actually, I don't. I have asked you repeatedly to watch your language and to behave appropriately, you have not done so, and now I am telling you to leave.
FIRST IDIOT: We don't have to go anywhere! We haven't done anything illegal!
SECOND IDIOT: You can't make us leave! We have the legal right to stay here!
MANAGER: Actually, I can make you leave, and if you do not go, I will call the police.
FIRST IDIOT: We haven't done anything wrong! We TIPPED this guy! [Indicating me, who was just there watching the spectacle.] I guess we shouldn't have! [Thanks, pal. Like I am to blame for you being a moron and getting thrown out of the hotel.]
SECOND IDIOT: Don't worry, man. They can't throw us out. Let them call the police. They will come and ESCORT us to our room, and then we will SUE the hell out of these guys!

So the Manager called the police, much of the above continued to be repeated ad drunken nauseum, until the police got there. Luckily, the police arrived in short order, asked the manager the problem, and was told the situation. While the manager was telling his story, the drunken idiots attempted to interrupt, only to have one cop tell them "Be quiet! He is talking now!" When the manager was finished, the drunken idiots look satisfied, KNOWING that they were in the right. Until, of course.....

OFFICER #1: This man wants you off this property. So you need to go to your room, get your stuff, and vacate these premises. What room are you in?
FIRST IDIOT: Ummm....I just want to go to my room!
OFFICER #2: That is no longer an option. You need to vacate these premises, and you need to do so now.
FIRST IDIOT: I didn't do anything wrong!
OFFICER #1: Are you going to get your stuff and vacate the premises or not?
FIRST IDIOT: I didn't do anything! He is saying all this shit, and none of it happened that way!
OFFICER #2: Turn around. [cuffs first idiot] What is your name?
SECOND IDIOT: You don't have to tell him anything, man.
OFFICER #2: He's right, you don't. [to Officer #1] Cuff the jailhouse lawyer.
OFFICER #1: Now you are both going to jail.

And off they went. Good thing they knew the law, huh?

[Antisocial_Worker]

^^^ Oh yes indeed it was. That was wonderful!

[Hotelboy]

If you only knew how many times I've been that manager. I also enjoy people who refused to pay their bill (because we've kicked them out or whatever reason), I tell them we're keeping their stuff, locking the door, and selling it to cover the costs. They cry lawyer, and then find out they're screwed.

Knowing the Innkeeper's Act inside and out is fun!

[Chugach_PropHead]

Johnnie Cochran at my disposal!

Ahh yes, I was threatened numerous times from some "all-star" employees of FedEx. Over the course of a year, I would fire several people. I considered myself one of the most laid-back managers there, but things like chronic abesenteeism, coming in drunk, sneaking off repeatedly to smoke cigarettes, and outright insubordination were things I would not put up with. Even though it clearly stated on the application that you could be "terminated for any or no reason", I knew to cover my keester and document EVERYTHING.

Needless to say, when I had enough ammunition to get rid of somebody, they would become extremely beligerent. It was never their fault either- it was mine. I was a "racist mo-fo *insert string of unintelligible babbling* and I was going to hear from their lawyers. That part always made me smile... OK, so you live in a craphole apartment in Cabrini Green, you openly admit to spending all your money on Olde English Malt Liquor and pot, and yet you can still afford to retain a crack team of high-level attorneys? Interesting...

In the end, I do remember one guy that actually had the gall to go to court. He was terminated for chronic absenteeism and poor performance. This means that he called off 2 to 3 days a week for a few weeks, and would NOT work unsupervised. If I left him alone for more than a minute, he would stop working and just sit down in his trailer. He demanded from the court that he receive unemployment compensation- but after the human resources person showed the judge his attendance record, the judge just said "forget it" and threw it out. Sweet...

[Acolyte]

I had a guy try and pull law on me to fix his computer. He came in with a pirated copy of XP which, naturally, we can't let leave until it has a legal copy. I informed the guy of that, and said he had to buy a copy of XP. Otherwise, it wasn't leaving the shop.
He got rather pissed off, yelling that we were stealing his computer, and, at one point, tried to barge into the back and get it. However, our staff is pretty...well, built for a bunch of IT guys, so he failed.
He left, saying he was going to call the RCMP.

Sure enough, a cruiser is out front in 10 minutes, and a Mountie is talking to one of the other techs. However, we told him, and proved, that he had an illegal copy of XP. So, the cops told him to pay up, or HE was the one getting busted.

Moron paid up rather promptly.

[Dreamstalker]

we have YEARS old candy in our display case and when we run out of that candy people want the one in the display and threaten to sue for false advertising if we dont give it to them...

...and then they'd sue if they ate it and got sick.

I had a student try to say that it was "the law" that she didn't need to tell me exactly what was wrong with her internet (I think she said something along the lines of she didn't "have to" talk to anyone except the IT director about hardware problems...well why did you call the library lab then?)