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Rejected Children's Books
Old 07-15-2007, 12:18 AM
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Default Rejected Children's Books

Don't expect to find any of these at your local Barnes & Noble . . .

1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Julie Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
13. Grandpa Gets a Casket
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
19. You Were an Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares Are Real
24. Mamma's on crack and I don't care
25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

Old 07-15-2007, 10:07 PM
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29. How to get rich from the change in your mother's purse.

Last edited by MadMike; 07-15-2007 at 10:52 PM. Reason: Excessive quoting

Old 07-16-2007, 01:11 AM
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Location: USA
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30. I Like Daddy's Vodka
31. My Sister Is A Slut
32. The Knobs On The Stove Are Neat!
33. Remember, Timmy, I Can Murder You In Your Sleep
34. How Many Marbles Can You Swallow?
35. Why Daddy Wears Mommy's Underwear
36. Let's Play In The Traffic!
37. Santa Isn't Real. Now Shut Up.
38. Why Hamsters and Vacuum Cleaners Don't Mix
39. I Caught Billy Playing With His Pee-Pee
40. Scooby-Doo Gets Neutured
41. You Read A Harry Potter Book? You're Going To Hell!!!
I question my sanity every day. Sometimes it answers.

Old 07-16-2007, 04:50 PM
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Shame about number 15 not being real

Old 07-16-2007, 07:46 PM
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42. The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad
43. What is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?
44. Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear
45. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy (I was going to say "The Pop-Up Kama Sutra", but much to my shock and awe that book has actually been written )
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

Old 07-17-2007, 10:24 AM
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Location: The Basilica of St. Apathy
Posts: 45

46. Father O' Maley's Favorite Child
47. Plastic Bags Make Great Masks
Shut up and jump.

Old 07-17-2007, 08:41 PM
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46. Why is Daddy hugging Mommy like that?
The Grand Galactic Inquisitor hears all and sees all.

Old 07-18-2007, 02:53 AM
Rahmota Rahmota is offline
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Location: SW Ohio
Posts: 564

47: Why is mommy hugging aunt mary?
48: Welcome to my house of snot.
49: We play with sharp things.
50: The litterbox home of free chocolate.

Old 07-18-2007, 03:01 AM
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47: The Marble Eating Contest
48: When You Touch There God Kills a Kitten
49: Fun with Fire
50: Get Rid of Your Baby Sibling in 5 Easy Steps: A Do It Yourself
51: Why Daddy Wears That White Robe
52: Mommy and My Many Daddies.
53: The Peanuts: Snoopy Goes To Sleep
54: Why Grandma Smells Like That
55: BoogeyMan: True Accounts
It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
~~~H.L. Mencken

Old 07-18-2007, 04:55 AM
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Strange Magic Strange Magic is offline
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Posts: 77

53 is just to mean to be thought of.....
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