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Things I am not allowed to do at work.

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  • When the manger asks how I keep the aisles so neat and organized, I am not to reply with, "Crop dusting."
    Don't waste time trying to convince someone that the sky is blue.

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    • When offering cashews, I'm not allowed to say, "Wouldn't you like to have my nuts in your mouth?"
      This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

      I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

      Comment


      • Must...Not...Laugh
        Laughing hurts...

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        • Quoth TheWolfEmperor View Post
          When the manger asks how I keep the aisles so neat and organized, I am not to reply with, "Crop dusting."
          IF that term has the MEANING I believe it does (I know the term and a meaning from serving/waiting tables)
          I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
          -- Life Sucks Then You Die.


          "I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."

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          • Quoth Racket_Man View Post
            IF that term has the MEANING I believe it does (I know the term and a meaning from serving/waiting tables)
            I first heard the term on Rifftrax.
            Don't waste time trying to convince someone that the sky is blue.

            Comment


            • Quoth TheWolfEmperor View Post
              I first heard the term on Rifftrax.
              The problem with crop dusting is that some times you end up fertilizing on accident.

              Just sliding down the razor blade of life.

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              • Quoth drunkenwildmage View Post
                The problem with crop dusting is that some times you end up fertilizing on accident.
                Sometimes Ol Estra needs more straw.
                I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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                • I'm not allowed to microwave popcorn for 23 minutes.
                  This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                  I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

                  Comment


                  • Quoth catcul View Post
                    I'm not allowed to microwave popcorn for 23 minutes.
                    i have seen it catch flame at 4min, so i agree with that directive.
                    This is a drama-free zone; violators will be slapped. -Irving Patrick Freleigh
                    my blog:http://steeledragon.wordpress.com/

                    Comment


                    • Quoth catcul View Post
                      I'm not allowed to microwave popcorn for 23 minutes.
                      How is there a building left standing?!?
                      "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

                      Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

                      The Darwin Awards The best site to visit to restore your faith in instant karma.

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                      • Quoth greek_jester View Post
                        How is there a building left standing?!?
                        He realized he accidentally added an extra zero before he started up the microwave.
                        This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                        I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

                        Comment


                        • When asked to tape signs to the tills explaining why they were running a bit slow (old and too many ppl) I am not allowed to phrase it like this:

                          As our till are older they are becoming harder to run. We our currently keeping are system up with a mix of human sacrifice and black magic. Please remember there is a reason our complaints are low at this location.

                          Back to school shoppers suck
                          Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

                          Comment


                          • Quoth catcul View Post
                            He realized he accidentally added an extra zero before he started up the microwave.
                            Lucky him - I had a student who once set off the smoke alarm because they misread the instructions on a packet of croissants, thought "oven" meant "Microwave oven" and put it in for 4 minutes.

                            Yeah...fire department and alarm company were NOT happy about that one.

                            And one to add from me:

                            - I am not allowed to chain my new manager to his desk because he ACTUALLY HAS A FSKING SPINE!

                            Comment


                            • After being asked about going to a local chicken restaurant, I'm not allowed to say, "I just wanted two big, meaty breasts in my mouth."
                              This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                              I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

                              Comment


                              • Quoth catcul View Post
                                After being asked about going to a local chicken restaurant, I'm not allowed to say, "I just wanted two big, meaty breasts in my mouth."
                                That's alright, the bubble tea place I go to has named their drinks sometimes very suggestive things. I'm often in there for a sexy redhead or a warm man nut. I have no problem telling it out when I walk through the door as I've been there so often that they know me by now.
                                Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

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