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  • Where green on green makes black and blue

    So the twit twins were back. The same self-entitled pricks who I have had to on more then one occasion physically pull off their horses. This time asshat 1 decides he’s going to do what he wants regardless of what he’s told and how stupid he is. So he decides he’s going to jump the horse regardless.

    Needless to say when your balance is shit at a trot it’s not magically going to get better over a jump. Particularly a bigger jump.

    Horse caught the rail which wouldn’t have been a problem as the jumps are designed to fall apart should the horse hit the rail (unlike cross-country hence why I consider it unnecessarily dangerous and even cruel). Except that he had absolutely no business jumping and no balance and was an idiot. So the horse fell because he was unbalanced due to rider error. Which caused the rider to fall off.

    Because the reins were held way to long when the horse fell he put a leg through the loop of the reins. A horse is a prey animal, it’s first instinct is to run. Nothing sets that off like potential damage to their best defence, their legs.

    Unfortunately for me (and fortunately for the brat) I do have some morals. Not many but they do exist.

    I know three things would happen without doing anything. The horse would try to get up. The horse would fail to get up as the reins tangled around his legs. The horse would then panic and very likely severely injure or kill the rider.

    1500lbs is not something you want flailing about you.

    So I went to move in before the horse could try to stand as there are ways to keep a horse down with resorting to ropes or cruelty. It’s simple physics. Unfortunately dipshit who might have been helpfully knocked out in the fall chose then to start screaming bloody murder. Which of course scared the shit out of the horse.

    He flailed at the wrong time and I got clipped by a hoof. I’m lucky all I got was a dislocated jaw (which was promptly relocated by the nice paramedics. He got a very busted leg, some broken ribs and a lovely black and blue patterning which was determined to have happened AFTER he had panicked the horse, NOT in the fall (something about the types of breaks). The only injuries aside from bruising that he got from the actual fall itself was a rattled brain cage. Bet he’s happy I make everyone where a helmet as soon as they enter the stable regardless of how unfashionable it is or how warm the weather is.

    Unfortunately I still have to deal with the twit twins parents trying to sue me for everything from ‘not stopping him’ (because I’m totally going to step in front of 1500lbs trying to run me down.) to ‘provoking the animal’ (do they mean the kid by telling him no? In which case I might agree. Or the horse for doing what horses do?)

    Oh and it wasn’t like it was some epic faceplant front flip kind of fall where you go catapulting into the ground. Nope this was one of those falls where the horse stumbles, then goes down to his knees, then sorta flops over on his face like he had a derp moment and forgot he was a quadruped and not a snake. The kinda slow mo fall where any competent rider could have very well balanced the horse mid fall and the rest wouldn’t have happened.

    Trust me I’ve had some epic faceplants. Sometimes there’s just no stopping the disaster once it’s in motion or you get to a point where you can predict what will happen several strides in advance but your mind won’t let your body do what needs to be done to correct.

    Often what ‘feels’ safe to a novice (ie leaning forward/hunching up, hooking a thumb over the neck, bracing in the stirrups, ‘hanging’ off the reins) is the very last thing you want to do.

    Leaning forward/ curling in on oneself on a horse that’s taken off might give you a feeling of security but it also encourages the horse to go faster as the weight is off his back and there’s less air resistance. Proper correction is to turn a circle as it forces the horse to slow down and rebalance instinctually. Still makes you feel like the horse might fall over if you turn so it mentally feels counterintuitive.

    Hooking a thumb over the neck might give you something to brace yourself on but it also means if there’s any sudden changed of direction (like if the horse spoils it stumbles) then you are probably going to break or at least dislocate that thumb.

    Bracing in the stirrups might give you something to set yourself against but it also prevents you from moving with the horse’s natural movement. At best you will get bounced around until you can make your joints pliant enough to absorb impact of the horses stride and in line with your body so that you aren’t tilting in any direction. Single stirrup circles tend to correct this problem damn fast as you either hold proper position or gradually fall off.

    It’s tempting to pull back when a horse puts his head down to kick up his heels. Newsflash you weigh 100lbs, the horse 1500lbs, you’re a bit outclassed. If hang off the reins then the next time the horse jerks his head down and his butt up you are going to meet the acquaintance of Mr. Ground. He’s not as nice as your instructor. It’s counterintuitive but the correction is to squeeze the legs and push him forward while bringing your hands up (not back). He can’t buck if he’s made to run. Not without unbalancing himself and he won’t do that deliberately.

    Horseback riding is the most dangerous sport for a reason. It’s the only sport that will push your limits physically, mentally, and emotionally. I guarantee if you hit the ground at 30km/hr from 10ft up because the horse stopped to ‘scratch his knee’ (also known as the pop and drop) suddenly you are going to have a psychological and emotional response when you are told to haul ass and try again. Particularly if you know what you did wrong but have to fight your body’s natural reaction in order to correct it.

    In fact many of the coping mechanisms for high level competitors have been taken from the same methods used to cope with PTSD because many of the reactions can be similar.
    Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

  • #2
    Well, Asshat 1 is down for... a while. Shall we start the betting pool on how long it takes Asshat 2 to duplicate the performance? Timer shall start once the idiot parents take the other 'little darling' back for more riding sessions. Yes, I do believe they are dense enough to bring #2 right back so he can improve on his brother's (self-caused) disaster.

    Of COURSE the little darlings know how to ride. And, of COURSE, they don't need any noise from someone who's been doing this for... more years than she might care to admit to. After all, what could she possibly know, besides everything?

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth Buzzard View Post
      Well, Asshat 1 is down for... a while. Shall we start the betting pool on how long it takes Asshat 2 to duplicate the performance? Timer shall start once the idiot parents take the other 'little darling' back for more riding sessions. Yes, I do believe they are dense enough to bring #2 right back so he can improve on his brother's (self-caused) disaster.
      They did last time, although nothing but their pride was hurt that time so hears hoping...

      Quoth Buzzard View Post
      Of COURSE the little darlings know how to ride. And, of COURSE, they don't need any noise from someone who's been doing this for... more years than she might care to admit to. After all, what could she possibly know, besides everything?
      Over 20yrs (when did I get so old?!) and that’s all I am willing to admit to. What could I possibly know? It’s not like one of my students is possibly going to become one of the youngest Olympic athletes if they determine that despite her age she did understand the implications physically mentally and emotionally. Not to mention fame and all that. It’s bit like I haven’t had a hand in training several horses that have gone on to become famous. It’s not as if I’ve seen and in many cases experienced first hand how things can get screwed up quickly. It’s not as if my name isn’t known well enough that many non-horse-obsessed people know it. Not as if I don’t hold a world record though from what rumours I hear that won’t be for much longer. But of course to these kind of people I can’t possibly know anything.

      I work as an instructor because the damage I’ve done to my body over the years makes it much harder to keep up with the way I used to ride. I can still do it. I can still ride competitively but I also recognize that I don’t want to be old and so worn down all I can do is sit there and be cared for by others because I never took care of my body. I still do ride competitions and win enough that I still do overseas competitions despite the cost. Besides most of Europe is fucking amazing.

      But much like ballet, the only way a career works in this business is if it’s an obsession. You have to eat sleep breath riding or you are not going to get anywhere but weekend lessons where you top out at local shows. It’s one of the only sports/‘hobbies’ that a doctor can tell what you do by examination. It will change your muscular and skeletal structure. It’ll you get serious it often leads to medical complications Ayer in life because of how the body has altered to accommodate the stress of the sport. I’m not talking sore joints because of one too many tackles either.

      I still wish they taught riding in school. Nothing to smarten you up and teach humility and critical thinking like 1500lbs of give-no-shits. A horse doesn’t care if you are having a bad day or if your mom grounded you or that test in a subject that’s difficult comes up. You bring that shit to the barn you are going to end up on the ground with a pointed reminder that the world doesn’t care about your problems. Just about how you handle them.
      Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

      Comment


      • #4
        I hope the horse involved in this is OK and that you heal up fast.

        One can hope the moron actually learned something, but I'm not optimistic. Not with those gene donors.
        "Crazy may always be open for business, but on the full moon, it has buy one get one free specials." - WishfulSpirit

        "Sometimes customers remind me of zombies, but I'm pretty sure that zombies are smarter." - MelindaJoy77

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        • #5
          Ouch ... I learned to unhorse and get out of the way early [I did dressage and steeplechase for about 10 years, selling my babies to get college money] and I am appalled [actually, knowing suctastic customers, not really] at the issue ... probably why very early on I decided [though I gave Cazenovia's horse specialization a long hard look] not to get into the business [coming from the Genesee Valley of Western NY, it is a very horse rich environment]

          I think my most spectacular steeplechase fail was one at Nations Farm, they have a 40 foot slide [jump at the top and bottom of a steep bit of slope] where I used the ejection seat at the top, bounced off both jumps, the slope in the middle and ended up at the bottom with a very puzzled horse looking down at me =) and the jump judge laughing at me. *sigh* I still feel the cracked wrist bone in bad weather from that one =) [but yes, I got up, finished the ride and went back and rode all week after getting a pretty new white cast put on =) Horse people can be idiots ]
          EVE Online: 99% of the time you sit around waiting for something to happen, but that 1% of action is what hooks people like crack, you don't get interviewed by the BBC for a WoW raid.

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          • #6
            I think my favourite impromptu dismount was when I was acting like an ass about how one of my sponsors had paid for me to go to Europe, Vienna to the famous Spanish riding school and spend an entire mouth being paid to ride... I learned on a runaway failed racehorse so sometimes if the horse isn’t familiar and they get going a good clip I kinda fall into bad habits. Anyway the pony I was riding stopped suddenly after I ASKED him to stop verbally and I did a flip over the shoulder and on the ground. The horse just standing there going wtf? You asked I did, why did you decide to flop off?

            Or the time I discovered the hard way that my old horse takes issue with that sorta downhill but in steps that I can’t remember what it’s called. Plop, bounce bounce bounce crack. Or the second time. “I’m gonna walk down these like a humanoid bunny. On two legs... because he was an ass.

            Or the time the old runaway was like “I’m better then the ground poles to warm up c. Imma gonna jump that 6ft oxer right beside it instead. I stayed on over the jump by fell off when he decided to celebrate his accomplishment by kicking his hooves up and throwing himself a party afterwards.
            Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth AccountingDrone View Post
              I think my most spectacular steeplechase fail was one at Nations Farm, they have a 40 foot slide [jump at the top and bottom of a steep bit of slope] where I used the ejection seat at the top, bounced off both jumps, the slope in the middle and ended up at the bottom with a very puzzled horse looking down at me =) and the jump judge laughing at me. *sigh* I still feel the cracked wrist bone in bad weather from that one =) [but yes, I got up, finished the ride and went back and rode all week after getting a pretty new white cast put on =) Horse people can be idiots ]
              That is genuinely impressive. I'm sorry you got hurt, but I really, really wish I could have seen that!
              "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

              Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

              The Darwin Awards The best site to visit to restore your faith in instant karma.

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              • #8
                And THIS is why I insisted on wearing a helmet even for Western competitions when I rode for my university's team. Despite the jeers of my much younger teammates. (I started that degree at age 30.) The coach and I literally grew up together from kindergarten on, so she understood, but most of the team just saw me as the old, cowardly fogey.

                I've taken enough blows to the skull outside of riding, including a Riverside Shakespeare of the back of the head after a bookcase collapse. I didn't need to court disaster on the back of a 1500lb animal!

                Someday I'll be able to afford lessons again. And more importantly, I'll have the *time.*

                Comment


                • #9
                  OK, I give up: Why haven't they been banned?
                  I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                  Who is John Galt?
                  -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth taxguykarl View Post
                    OK, I give up: Why haven't they been banned?
                    Money. It all comes down to money. Although they will likely be banned after this simply because of injury caused to an employee. Which means paperwork bs and someone will end up wanting to know the why did this happen (one of the many reasons I record every lesson). If too many injuries pile up they can be shut down while being investigated and that costs more money then kicking the assholes out.

                    Quoth Dragon_Dreamer View Post
                    And THIS is why I insisted on wearing a helmet even for Western competitions when I rode for my university's team. Despite the jeers of my much younger teammates. (I started that degree at age 30.) The coach and I literally grew up together from kindergarten on, so she understood, but most of the team just saw me as the old, cowardly fogey.

                    I've taken enough blows to the skull outside of riding, including a Riverside Shakespeare of the back of the head after a bookcase collapse. I didn't need to court disaster on the back of a 1500lb animal!

                    Someday I'll be able to afford lessons again. And more importantly, I'll have the *time.*
                    Yeah, I get so much teasing and crap from people while wearing a helmet even in the barn or as an instructor (in case I need to step into a situation or physically correct position, or even get on the horse myself. I do not want to do any of those without protection and I sure as hell don’t want to be fumbling for a helmet if something goes down. Also, just because I’m on the ground in the barn does not mean the horse is suddenly risk-free or safe. I’ve had horses spook at the stupidest things (like the automatic water fillers...the ones he had been drinking out of for years). I find in western particularly people seem to have this no helmets ever thing going on.
                    Last edited by EricKei; 12-11-2019, 01:39 AM. Reason: merged consecutive posts
                    Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      "Unfortunately dipshit who might have been helpfully knocked out in the fall chose then to start screaming bloody murder."

                      Which is where your previous sniper training would have come in handy.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I forget the protocol but, aren't you supposed to shoot dipshits when they get injured? :-)
                        "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth AkaiKitsune View Post
                          I think my favourite impromptu dismount was when I was acting like an ass about how one of my sponsors had paid for me to go to Europe, Vienna to the famous Spanish riding school and spend an entire mouth being paid to ride... I learned on a runaway failed racehorse so sometimes if the horse isn’t familiar and they get going a good clip I kinda fall into bad habits. Anyway the pony I was riding stopped suddenly after I ASKED him to stop verbally and I did a flip over the shoulder and on the ground. The horse just standing there going wtf? You asked I did, why did you decide to flop off?

                          Or the time I discovered the hard way that my old horse takes issue with that sorta downhill but in steps that I can’t remember what it’s called. Plop, bounce bounce bounce crack. Or the second time. “I’m gonna walk down these like a humanoid bunny. On two legs... because he was an ass.

                          Or the time the old runaway was like “I’m better then the ground poles to warm up c. Imma gonna jump that 6ft oxer right beside it instead. I stayed on over the jump by fell off when he decided to celebrate his accomplishment by kicking his hooves up and throwing himself a party afterwards.
                          Are you sure that you weren't riding one of my horses? My horse named King Cow used to do this to me.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Sheldonrs View Post
                            I forget the protocol but, aren't you supposed to shoot dipshits when they get injured? :-)
                            That's tempting, but it might spook the horse.
                            This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                            I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

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