We get letters...

[Emily Windsnap]

I work for a water company, and every so often we get complaint letters mailed in with our payments. Here's a couple of recent samples:

(old cranky man who complains all the time)

"Three bills in two months!!

You all should be able to retire early, ....if your customers don't go broke first!!!"



Note: We offer scholarships to students on our water district. It's something we have been doing for a couple of years now.

(grouchy woman who is apparently offended by generosity)

"I just opened my letter about those scholarships. I guess that's why y'all have been charging me so much for my water!"

Yes ma'am, we are expecting "you" to fund all of our scholarships this year. We pulled your name out of a hat...sorry.

[Spiffy McMoron]

"I just opened my letter about those scholarships. I guess that's why y'all have been charging me so much for my water!"

Yeah, sorry about giving that money to people who both need it and deserve it...shame on us...

[Becks]

How dare you offer scholarships? In my day...blah blah blah...tune out...start listening again...wait, it's still going on...

[Broomjockey]

The title of this reminds me of a Glen Foster routine.

"Okay, what's the worst thing that will happen if we show this on TV?"
"Oh, we'll get letters!"
"Oh my god! More words organized into sentences arranged in paragraphs! AAHHH!!"

We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread...

[MystyGlyttyr]

Don't you just love those letters where they basically say YOUR organization is responsible for all the wrongs in this person's life, the world, the universe, and probably opened Pandora's box back in the day? If these people included a nickel for me with every one of their inane, poorly spelled, badly handwritten, yellowed, menthol-scented letters, I would have a BUTTLOAD of nickels.

Maybe I can convince the editors to start the "bad letter scholarship"...