The Land Is HERS!

[BlackIronCrown]

I haven't posted anything in a while, but that's because 3rd shift doesn't leave much to be yelled at for. It's very quiet. Not many people have copier problems at night.
However, permission was given by the OP of this to post in other communities. It has sufficient lulz, so here we go....

The Tale of Midnight Voyager, Surveyor Officeperson:

PART 1
I'm more or less new at this phone monkey thing. Sure, I've been doing this for a year, but all I really do is say the name of the company and direct the call to the proper person... or take a message... and it's not technically in my job description. I'm a draftsman. So every once in a while, I'll answer the phone, be a bit distracted, and someone will catch me off-guard. We get a very large number of random calls for two reasons.

1. Company name starts with B. First in the phone book.
2. We've been around longest of anyone.

Now. I was in the middle of a difficult, complicated map. I was very distracted. The phone rings and I answer it.
"Boles Engineering."
"Can I speak to Mr. Boles?"
"............uh..."
My brain was not working right. I was gaping like a beached flounder. I was... my brain didn't catch what was said. Really.
"...he's... dead..."
"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! What happened to him?"
Everyone in the office is now also gaping like a beached flounder. An utterly confused "he's dead" was not what they expected to hear. However, I have NEVER heard or heard about a coworker talking to one that actually asked what happened to him. They usually get the point by then that they are caught in their little bid to get STRAIGHT TO THE BOSS.
"...he... died... before I was born..."
The office explodes into silent laughter, half choking to not be heard in the background. We get many calls like that, so they knew what was probably being said.
Now, confused as I was, the guy is caught. All he did, you see, was take the name of the company and put Mr. in front of it. Why? Because every damn idiot who calls in thinks they NEED THE OWNER OMFG. No. You need a surveyor. You are not that important. Go away.
Dead silence. Meek, sheepish tone. "Well... *half mumble, something like "someone referred me to him"* ...who do I need to speak to about a survey?"
Sigh.

-

Now here's a cute little story. This woman, you see, was not very bright. She bought a piece of land... with no survey. Just blam! Purchase.
This is not bright. At all. Any. She had no idea where the boundaries were. She probably got screwed on it.
She called in people to clear off and move trees and everything. Still no survey.

This is REALLY not bright. This is unbright of flaming death. Sirens exploded in fury when this happened. She was cutting trees, many of which were not hers.
They're clearing... and they find an empty house. She... decides... well, the house must be hers!
...so she moved her son into it.
...
This... I... g... WTF!? You... idiot... just... no!!!
I...
I can't... form any words... for this one... just... no.
And no. It was NOT hers. It was some other nice person's. Yes, it was empty... that does not mean it is not owned.
Lawsuits still pending. She'll probably have to pay for the lumber that was cut, fines for housenapping, maybe even replant the trees and pay for irrigation.
We don't do surveying for no reason.

PART 2

Remember this little gem?
I heard a clearer report of the incident today, along with some additions.
How far outside of their own land was this house that they thought just must be theirs? 70 yards.
70 yards. They cleared 70 yards wide, the length of their property, of trees. Luckily, the trees were crappy little dying things. They'll still probably get nice and sued for them.

Here's where the hilarious and the WTF comes in. Bob cringes at this. It makes Bob cry.
The nice lady comes up to her new house. It had been boarded up, yes.
She sees it occupied. Cue *blink blink* sound effects. Walks up, calmly knocks on the door. Informs the son of Miss "It must be mine!"'s... er... wife? Girlfriend? Long-standing butt-monkey? that the house is hers, and why are they in it?

Cue Wife/GF/Butt-monkey walking back into the house "to get *crazy woman's son*."
Comes back with a butcher knife, screaming like a madwoman, threats, curses, and completely chases the rightful owner away.
WTF!?
Apparently, the son is perfectly nice and sane... he just... I mean... the hell?

I may add that the crazy woman and her son are still quite insistent that it is their land. No, really. No, they got no survey, but it's their land. No, you don't get it. Their. Land. This has to be an honest mistake on your part.
...
*HEADDESK*

PART 3

Oh. My. God.
I knew this would be good.
Okay, I have one major clarification point here. (That's also funny) The house they claimed? No water or electricity. This house was indeed completely abandoned. They couldn't get it turned on, because..... THEY COULDN'T PROVE THEY OWNED THE HOUSE! You would have thought this would have clued them in.
Now to the updates.

I got a call on the phone today. A very nice, polite lawyer was on the line. This is fairly normal. We get lawyers, accountants, real estate people... I note the name of the lawyer, the client he was calling about, the county, the prob... lem... wait... cutting on her side of the line? This sounds familiar... it couldn't be... I mean, it's been quite a while... though everything moves at the speed of government relating to lawsuits...
I hand the phone to the right person, give them the information, and... "Hey, is this the 'The land must be hers!' lady?"
Indeed it was!
I was hankering for more info, so I was listening in closely. I knew I had something for all of you when my uncle exclaimed "OH GOD, REALLY!?"
My coworker called what he thought the problem was. He was right.
...The house in question was "mysteriously" burnt down.
...
I think that lawsuit is going to be bumped up to a higher court now...
Why can some people NOT EVER admit that they're wrong? They were called out on it! They have evidence they're wrong! But nooooooo...
It wasn't even a nice house! It was abandoned! It had no water or electricity! *head explodes*

===
More coming, as it comes...

[CrazedClerk]

This land is her land,
it is not our land,
a stupid person,
that we just can't stand.
she never learned now,
and she's been burned down.
she says this land is hers and hers alone,
but now it doesn't have a home.

(sorry, that song is the first thing I thought of when I saw the title)

[Imogene]

Let me see if I got that straight... "It must be my house" gets told to vacate by rightful owners. "It must be mine" doesn't like that, and decides to burn down the house?

[BlackIronCrown]

Let me see if I got that straight... "It must be my house" gets told to vacate by rightful owners. "It must be mine" doesn't like that, and decides to burn down the house?

Correct-a-mundo!
Lovely, ain't it?

[SuperB]

Un-freakin-believable. Hey what's her number because I've got this bridge....

[JustADude]

Correct-a-mundo!
Lovely, ain't it?

Oh, yes, absolutely lovely. At least now she'll get government-funded housing at a "full-service" resort, with exercise area, for the next few years... whether she wants it or not.

[Alfie]

I don't laugh out loud to many posts on here, it rarely ever happens. But reading that first part made me laugh so hard I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything. I can't even read the rest of the post incase my mother thinks I'm insane for laughing so hard.

[ShadedWings]

I think... if I were her, or her son, I would plead temporary insanity. Obviously, she is, if she'd resort to BURN SOMETHING DOWN that she so adamantly claims as "hers!".

[South Texan]

This woman, you see, was not very bright. She bought a piece of land... with no survey. Just blam! Purchase.

That reminds me of a guy who was doing something like this in our city. He would drive around looking for old, vacant houses. Then he would put the houses he found up for sale and sell them to people for a fairly low price. Usually he did "owner financing" for them or set the sale up as a contract for deed. Were the houses his to sell? No. But as he said in a hearing, "That was not the point" because he was "getting abandonded properties back onto the tax roles and getting people into them to revitalize the neighborhoods." So in his opinion, he was "doing the city a service" and the state should be thanking him rather than prosecuting him - even though he pocketed all the profits from the sales.

He had sold several properties in this manner before the heirs of one TRUE owner discovered that dad's house was being lived in and had been repainted and fixed up when they decided to put it on the market four years after dad had died.

What no one could believe was that people were stupid enough to buy the properties without doing a title check to make sure the guy was the owner. Most of the properties also had back taxes due that the new "owners" discovered they would have to pay to avoid the county foreclosing on "their" properties.

Then again, my city is full of rather unsophisticated/stupid people who love to cry out that they are victims whenever they get the chance.

[wagegoth]

Years ago, I worked for a while as a Title Secretary. Nothing that bad came up, but I heard some amazing rationalizations for using other people's property without permission, including long term squatter problems.

When my parents, also many years ago, decided to sell our house out in the country, a surveyor friend came out to resurvey the property (6+acres plus ingress and egress rights). It turned out we should have had an additional half acre on one side, that would have included a stream, something valuable in the country when you have livestock. There had been a mistake and it was never caught or corrected by surveyors or the title company.

[BookstoreEscapee]

\

(sorry, that song is the first thing I thought of when I saw the title)

hehehe, me too.

now i'll be singing myself to sleep with it

[BaristaGirl]

Let me see if I got that straight... "It must be my house" gets told to vacate by rightful owners. "It must be mine" doesn't like that, and decides to burn down the house?

It makes as much sense to me as it does to you. None at all. WTF?!

[Auto]

I remember reading somewhere that English land law (the basis for American land and real estate law) is so old and settled that if lawyers who died during the time of the Black Death could be brought back to life, they'd need about a month of retraining to be able to resume their practices.

Amazing that someone would buy raw land out in the country and not have a survey done and/or title searched and confirmed.

Even more amazing that someone would just assume they know the boundaries of their property and start doing drastic things.

[Sliceanddice]

where was this ditzy anyways

[XCashier]

This land is her land,
it is not our land,
a stupid person,
that we just can't stand.
she never learned now,
and she's been burned down.
she says this land is hers and hers alone,
but now it doesn't have a home.

(sorry, that song is the first thing I thought of when I saw the title)

Never heard that song, but the song that popped into my head is:

"This land is my land, it isn't your land
I have a shotgun, and you ain't got one
You'd better get off, or I'll blow your head off!
This land is private property!"
(sung to the tune of "This Land Is Your Land" by Woodie Guthrie)