Lesson learned: Don't be NICE

[AcctNmbrNinja]

First time poster, casual lurker. Thought I'd pass this little one on.
First thing you need to know about me is that I can be very efficient when I want to be. I will be the nicest person in the world to you unless you want to be a jerk and then you get nothing for free and snappy replies that aren't as informative as they could be.
I know I probably shouldn't be on the phones, I take things too personally but I'm finding I've developed a heart of ice on most days.

A typical response from me, goes like this:
M=Me
C=customer

M"So your accounts been cancelled and-"
C"So it's cancelled right?"
M"...that's what I said."
C"Right, but how do I KNOW it's cancelled, is there a confirmation number?"
M"No."(WHYYY, WHY DON'T WE HAVE THESE?!?!?!?!)
C"Well how about an ID number?"
M"Yes I have an ID number."
C"Can I have it?"
M"No."
C"What?! Why~?!?!?!"
M"Uuuh, because I don';t have to give it to you."
C"Well what about a last name?"
M"Nope."
C"Not even an initial?"
M"No."
C"So how do I know it's CANCELLED?!"
M"..........Because I just told you it was, was there anything else?"
(END CALL ZOMG)

I admit I could be a little less blunt, but when you have people who don't listen, don't have their info..you get the idea. Small victories save lives. My sanity is safe for another day*puts shotgun away*

So, today I was in a good mood, I didn't even mind that she added an extra er to the end of my name, ok, whatever. Verified info, placed accts on suspend, groovy. I'm answering her questions in rapid fire succession boom boom you've just been seerved! So then she comes up with one of my pet peeves.. she complains, because we sent her a FREEEE GIIIIFT
....What the bloody baron is wrong with you people? Seriously? it's FREE. So the lady explains that she recieved an outbound offer for a free thermos, but she didn't want a thermos so the agent offered her mugs instead. Uh, why?! Why does this agent hate me?
First off, you can't CHANGE an intro offer, but this agent was nice enough to add mugs to her regular order in the hopes of getting a sale (I hate you outbound service agents for my company, I hope your innards rot because you're all filthy liars. Well, I'm sure most of you aren't, it's the customers but stop complicating things! thermos or NO!)
So I quickly explain to this customer what has happened and this is how things go
M-Me
c-customer

c-so what am I supposed to do with this thermos, I don't want it!
m-(still surprisingly cool, taking things well and trying to be nice)well, as I've stated ma'am, we are sending the mugs, just not until december. The thermos couldn't be changed but you can do whatever you want with it.
c-but I don't want it!
m-well ma;'am you could just throw it away or-(give it as a gift)
c-I'M NOT THROWING IT AWAY, ARE YOU GETTING SMART WITH ME?1
m-...*blink*no ma'am, I'm just saying, we're not expecting it back, you can do whatever you want with it.
c-WELL WHY WOULD I THROW IT AWAY?!
m-I don;t know ma'am, I've had people throw perfectly good coffee makers away so-
c-OH I DON;T BELIEVE YOU!!
m-well ma'am I'm sorry but-
C-I DON;T LIKE YOUR ATTITUDE, I WANT TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE ELSE.
m-*suddenly EXTREEEEEMELYYY HAPPY* that's CERTAINLY not a problem MA'AM ^___^ \v/ I can get you someone else, JUST ONE MOMENT PLEASE.

[Imogene]

I didn't even mind that she added an extra er to the end of my name,

Hmmm... AcctNumberNinjer? Are you sure she wasn't from Massachussetts?

....What the bloody baron

Alright, Mr. Potter. 10 points for Gryffindor.

[AcctNmbrNinja]

You know..she could very well have been....I get alot of calls from there..

[KyneXY]

But but Bloody Baron is from Slytherin

[Imogene]

But but Bloody Baron is from Slytherin

Yes, but the series he's in... I couldn't remember which house the bloody baron was... so, I went further up.

[digilight]

Sorry, but I agree with the first caller wanting someway to identify who they spoke to regarding canceling their account. I've been in the situation where something was supposed to be done to an account via the phone and it never happened. Without anyway to identify who you spoke to you are SOL. Now granted probably 98.9% of people asking for the info would never have any need for it in the first place. But what if that persons account for some reason didn't get canceled, maybe server crashes and reverts to a backup done prior to the cancel, CSR forgets to hit confirm, doesn't note account stating what was done. Just my 2 cents.

Now the second lady was just bonkers, why bitch about something thats free.

[AcctNmbrNinja]

Sorry, but I agree with the first caller wanting someway to identify who they spoke to regarding canceling their account. I've been in the situation where something was supposed to be done to an account via the phone and it never happened. Without anyway to identify who you spoke to you are SOL. Now granted probably 98.9% of people asking for the info would never have any need for it in the first place. But what if that persons account for some reason didn't get canceled, maybe server crashes and reverts to a backup done prior to the cancel, CSR forgets to hit confirm, doesn't note account stating what was done. Just my 2 cents.

Now the second lady was just bonkers, why bitch about something thats free.

I completely understand your point, but as I tell everyone who asks for information(maybe I didn't include it in the conversation I posted, I might've forgotten) all of my information is kept on record in a contact history. My name is there. The exact thing I tell them is 'you don't need my ID number, my information is on file and there is a record of this call on file, so they can see everything I've done here today. Was there anything else?' Most people take this in strides, the belligerent ones who don't, just make me angry, that after I have explained to them that I have DONE -my- job, they don't believe me. That's not my fault, sorry if you've recieved bad customer service before, if you don't want to take my word for it, that's your perrogative, MY perrogative is not to give them personal information when I don't have to.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I used to get similar sometimes from people whose transactions we post-voided. Post-voids don't generate a receipt for the customer; they print a slip, the supervisor signs it and staples it to the receipt that was voided and it all goes to sales audit. As far as the customer is concerned, the transaction never happened. But some people who have used a credit card will insist on a receipt 'in case it shows up on their statement.' Usually it is enough to show them that the voided transaction matches the original transaction number, but a few times I have had to go in the back and photocopy everything becuase people are paranoid.

Now the second lady was just bonkers, why bitch about something thats free.

because she doesn't waaaaant it. weren't you reading?