My Coke Habit

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Ok. So recently we had to move out of my apartment. My wife and I were having her kids assist us in the move. Sunday night comes upon us and we have to take the kids home to their father. As a reward we take them to 7-11 to get slurpees.

The Coca-Cola slurpee machine was down for a defrost cycle. Darn, that sucks for us since my wife and I only like the Coke ones. The kids however love any and all flavors offered and would mix the most horrendous concoctions they can think of.

Not a problem, they drink them, they can be whatever they want them to be.

So we drop them off, take our stuff to storage and unload and we head back for more packing. Since it has been an hour, we decide to check to see if the Coke machine is back online.

YAY! It is!

So wife and I get our Coca-Cola slurpees and we head to check out. The woman behind the counter knows us and loves to tease us and joke around with us (she is awesome) and looked at me and said "Just had to get your slurpees didn't you?"

To which I replied with a chuckle "Yeah, a Coke habit is such a cross to bear."

By now you're probably figured out that the title refers to Coca-Cola and not Cocaine and are now wondering where the suck is. Well wonder no more for the sucky old bitch lady now enters the picture.

Me - still wearing my Advance Auto Parts shirt from work (this is important)
CL - Counter Lady
SOBL - Sucky Old Bitchy Lady

SOBL - You should not take your problem so lightly. Drugs are nothing to laugh about and they will destroy you.

Me - I know, I was just joking about my Coke Slurpee

SOBL - You put cocaine in your drink? You really need to get professional help

CL - He was referring to the fact he came back to get a Slurpee with Coca-Cola in it and not Cocaine ma'am

SOBL - Don't cover for him! If he's not willing to take responsibility for his actions then he deserves what happens to him!

Me - (turning around to face this...person of diminished capacity) Ma'am, I am not a drug user. I was referring to the fact that I only like the Coca-Cola Slurpee and making light of the fact that the short form of both Cocaine and Coca-Cola is Coke. I have a habit of getting a Coca-Cola Slurpee at least three nights a week. Coca-Cola equals Coke, I make it a habit to get Coke Slurpees...Coke Habit. Get it?

SOBL - (noticing my Advance Auto Shirt) What do you do for them? Are you a manager?

Me - No, I'm a driver for...

SOBL - (in a high screechy yell) YOU ARE A DRIVER AND YOU USE COCAINE?!? HOW COULD YOU BE SO IRRESPONSIBLE AS TO ENDANGER THE LIVES OF EVERYONE ELSE ON THE ROAD WITH YOU?!? WHAT IS YOUR STORE? I AM GOING TO CALL THEM AND TELL THEM WHAT YOU DO AND I'M GOING TO MAKE GODDAMN SURE THAT YOU GET THE HELP YOU NEED EVEN IF IT HAS TO BE BEATEN INTO YOU!

Me - My store is store number [number] in [city] and my manager's name is [name]. Call if you must just leave me alone and crawl back into the Alzheimers Arms Hotel where you came from you demented old retarded bat!

I then called my boss and assured her that if anything came from this I would willingly and cheerfully take another piss test and I would pass it with flying colors. I also explained the whole story. My boss laughed and muttered something about old nosy people who need to mind their own damn business.

It's been a month and no calls came in either to my boss, the District Manager or to Corporate and I haven't had to pee in a cup so I'm thinking that the SOBL promptly forgot about the incident when she was distracted by the next young whippersnapper with something that offends the bloody hell out of old people.

Mongo

[crazylegs]

I love the crazy old folks. There is one who insists I'm a drug taking heathen who is 'one of them'. Which is nice.

It's always amusing to walk down the street and hear her screeching after me trying to get a rise.

[It shouldn't]

Good for you for telling Old Bat off.

The Cafe 6 doors down makes the best Mocha. Add some Vanilla syrup and you have 'crack juice' That stuff is addictive. It does get some funny looks, when I walk in every afternoon: "Crack juice, please"

[smileyeagle1021]

kinda like I used to get strange looks at 7-11 when I used to go in every day to refil my extreme gulp with Diet Pepsi and the clerk would ask "feeding the addiction again I see" this clerk also says that with the regulars with cigeretes also... most of us think it's funny... sadly there are the SCs who will bitch and moan about how unprofessional it is for the clerk to be making fun of people's addictions...

[protege]

Somewhat along those lines...

For the past year, my grandmother has been living in a nursing home. She's not "totally gone" but needs more care and attention than my family can give her. The staff and most of the residents are pretty damn nice. A few though, just can't seem to mind their own damn business...

One night, I was there for dinner. For some reason, the home had most of the dining room closed off. What was left, was a bit crowded, and difficult for Grandma to go through with her walker. So, being the nice guy, I moved part of the barricade, so she could get through. Keep in mind that we were *not* going to sit in the closed section...

No sooner did I do that, and some old woman started screaming about how "that section is closed" and how she "couldn't believe" I was ignoring her.

Then Grandma and I sat down, and I said just loud enough for her to hear... "some people are just so damn nebby. They need to mind their own business" Hehe one of Grandma's friends agreed, and then told the other woman to shut up

[dithers66]

That's what I love about not being an employee, you can tell an SC anything you want cause they can't do anything to harm your job.

[RebeccaOTool]

XD Wow...that's one demented old timer (Is glad her grandparents arn't nuts).

[protege]

XD Wow...that's one demented old timer (Is glad her grandparents arn't nuts).

She's the same one who bitched that there wasn't any "American" food on the menu one night