SC's false accusation of theft to cover stupidity

[Shyla]

I think I'm glad I'm short. It's too much effort to put my purse on the roof. I've never done that.

[Nunavut Pants]

One time on vacation, we headed out the parking lot at the 'Iao Needle. In front of us was a car with a few obviously-local kids (OK, 20-somethings). The driver had left a full cup on the roof over his head. I honked the horn of the rental and waved at him, then reached out and pointed to the roof of my car right over my head. He got it, grabbed the cup, and gave me a wave and a "shaka".

I felt pretty good about that.

Oh! And once I got out of my car at a red light, ran to the pickup truck in front of me, lifted the tool box off his bumper, waved it, and put it in the bed. That could have been bad in so very many ways...

[dalesys]

... lifted the tool box off his bumper ... bad in so very many ways...

I had a dogleg tire iron bounce out of a vehicle in front of me on I15, dent my front bumper, crease my hood, and another crease in the roof over my head of my new '76 Unpintoable wagon.

[wolfie]

Dogleg tire iron attacked your car? Must have mistaken it for the Mercury corporate twin - the Bobcat.

[Marmalady]

It's getting to the point where a prospective good Samaritan is afraid of being accused of stealing or worse

Oh, indeed. I found a purse a few weeks ago, on the shop floor - I was doing my routine sweep and there it was, lying near where the bags of sugar were piled up. I didn't pick it up, I laid my trash bag and brush over it (so nobody else would see it) and went to get our security guy. Again, some time before that, I was doing some shopping after my shift and noticed a five pound note on the floor between the till where I was queuing and the next. I just called to the front end team leader and he picked it up and dealt with it.

I won't even touch money / purses / wallets - I'm not giving anyone even the slightest opportunity to claim that I intended keeping them for myself.

[nutraxfornerves]

Leo Rosten The Joys of Yiddish:

A poor man found a wallet with ninety rubles in it. In the wallet was a name and address and this notice: "If found, return. Ten rubles reward." The poor man rushed to the address, a fine home, where the [householder] thanked him, counted the money, and said, "I see you have already removed ten rubles for your reward."" "I? No! Never! I swear it." "The rich man sneered. "There were one hundred rubles in that wallet." "I swear to you, on my mother's grave..."

At this point a rabbi entered. The poor man appealed to him, telling his tale. The rich man then told his, and, slyly, ended ""So whom will you believe, Rabbi, that [pauper] or me?" "You, of course." And the rabbi took the wallet from the rich man and gave it to the [pauper].

"Rabbi, what are you doing?" cried the rich man. "I'm taking you at your word," said the rabbi. "You said your wallet contained one hundred rubles. This man says the wallet he found contained only ninety. Therefore, this wallet can't be yours." "But I — what of my money?" "We simply must wait," said the rabbi, "until some honest soul finds a wallet with a hundred rubles in it."