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Playboy brings the crazy out in people.

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  • Playboy brings the crazy out in people.

    It's bad enough finding open "sophisticate" magazines in the bathroom or hidden among the shelves. However, I will never forget these two customers. At least they actually had the intention of buying their magazine.

    These both happened in September 2005:

    #1
    Me: [Store/Location], this is [ME!], how can I help you?
    Caller: Yes, I was wondering if you have a certain magazine?
    Me: Alright
    Caller: Has the new scratch 'n sniff Playboy come in?
    Me: (suppressing a combination of wtf??? and laughter)Uh. . . I don't think so, let me check the computer. I'm not seeing any indication that we received that.
    Caller: Maybe it was Penthouse, I can't remember
    Me: Let me put you on hold and find out for you
    [Hold]

    I call my receiving manager.
    Me: [RM], do you know of any scratch 'n sniff Playboys or Penthouses?
    RM: (Laughing)No, can't say that I have
    Me: Do they even exist?
    RM: Wouldn't surprise me.

    [pick up the line again and decide that if this is a prank, I'm not going to let him get the best of me.]
    Me: Sir, it doesn't look like we've received any. If you want, I can take your number and if we get it in, we'll give you a call.
    Caller: No, no, my wife would kill me.
    Me: Alright sir, have a good day.


    Later, as I walked by receiving, my receiving manager sniffs his fingers and says to me, "The new Playboys have arrived."



    #2
    The store opens and the first customer comes in, goes straight to the newsstand and grabs a copy of Playboy. Since I'm at the front of the store, I jump on one of the tills and ring him up. As he's paying he says to me, "Y'know, my cousin is in this issue." At that point all I could muster was, "uh . . . Alright."

    I told my receiving manager this and he says to me, "You know, if you want to be really crass, you could've said, 'Well, I was in your cousin.'"

    If only . . .
    "MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!" - Lewis Black

  • #2
    Heh - glad you have a cool boss.

    Rapscallion

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    • #3
      Pardon my ignorance, but erm... what exactly were the Playboys supposed to smell like..?

      I'm guessing.. coochie?!
      My Myspace, add me!

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      • #4
        Processed cheese.

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        • #5
          Eww!! LOL
          My Myspace, add me!

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          • #6
            I think I finally understand the title to that Nirvana song.

            "Smells Like Teen Spirit" indeed......

            "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
            Still A Customer."

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            • #7
              Quoth RammsteinGirl View Post
              Pardon my ignorance, but erm... what exactly were the Playboys supposed to smell like..?
              If you have to ask, you don't want to know.

              BTW, the last time I had a "Scratch'n'Sniff" magazine was a Car and Driver. There was an ad for a Volvo, and the ad was set up to parody perfume ads that are in Cosmo or some crap like that. You scratch the indicated spot, to reveal the alluming scent of...tire burnout smoke.

              I'm getting a headache just THINKING about it...
              I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes

              Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!

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              • #8
                Somehow when I think of Volvos, burning rubber is NOT what comes to mind!

                "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                Still A Customer."

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                • #9
                  I actually do have a copy of a Playboy Lingerie Issue...because...one of my students is in it! And the carpets do NOT match the drapes!

                  I also have a copy of a National Geographic that has one of my students on the cover!!!
                  Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end.

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                  • #10
                    Who wants to bet that they'll come out with 3D playboy magazines where you have to wear those glasses?

                    Quoth Jester View Post
                    I think I finally understand the title to that Nirvana song.

                    "Smells Like Teen Spirit" indeed......
                    Interesting fact (I know you're being funny jester): Teen Spirit was the name of a deodorant that Kurt's girlfriend was wearing. The title came from a graffiti written by a friend that read "Kurt smells like teen spirit." *

                    *Is a Nirvana die-hard.
                    The Grand Galactic Inquisitor hears all and sees all.

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                    • #11
                      I'll bet they just buy the magazine for the articles...right...lol.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth RammsteinGirl View Post
                        Pardon my ignorance, but erm... what exactly were the Playboys supposed to smell like..?

                        I'm guessing.. coochie?!
                        Some people would probably say dead fish. . .
                        Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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                        • #13
                          Don't ask me how I know this... but back in the late 70's, I think, Hustler actually had a scratch 'n' sniff centerfold.

                          I always hated the pretentious articles in Playboy. If I wanted to read, I'd buy The New Yorker. But then again, the plastic women of Playboy never did a lot for me, either.

                          PS I get the Playboy Channel comped.
                          I was neat, clean, shaved and sober, and I didn't care who knew it. -- Raymond Chandler

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                          • #14
                            Quoth TNT View Post
                            Don't ask me how I know this... but back in the late 70's, I think, Hustler actually had a scratch 'n' sniff centerfold.
                            Now that wouldn't surprise me...

                            It's bad enough finding open "sophisticate" magazines in the bathroom or hidden among the shelves
                            We used to find them in the religion section a lot... is this some form of penance ...if you read it among the Christianity books do you still have to go to Confession? I was very glad when we moved them behind the counter. Didn't sell as many, but didn't have to wash our hands after touching them, either. I say we win.

                            Quoth Primer
                            I also have a copy of a National Geographic that has one of my students on the cover!!!
                            I have a copy of National Geographic with a story (in part) about my ex-uncle (my aunt's ex-husband). He won the Nobel Prize for Chemistry in 1997 for discovering Buckyballs (shared with 2 other people). I never met him, though (or at least not since I was a baby), and he died a year ago.
                            I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                            I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                            It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Primer View Post
                              one of my students is in it!
                              *hums "My Angel is the Centerfold", blinks, shrugs, continues humming*
                              Slipped me notes, Under the desk
                              While I was thinking, about her dress.
                              </etc>
                              "I call murder on that!"

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