Anyway...

[Boozy]

I had a real jackass today.

I was talking to my co-worker and saw the guy walk in. I wrapped up the conversation by saying "Anyway..." and sort of trailing off.

I turned to the man. I was just about to say hello to him when he says to me:

"Anyway! You sound like Eeyore! Ha ha ha! Anyway!"

He was using the Eeyore voice from Winnie the Pooh cartoons. If you haven't seen them, the voice is very apathetic and depressed sounding. Eeyore moans and groans a lot.

I don't think I sound like that at all. But even if I do, its not exactly my fault. He shouldn't have been making fun of me.

So I turned my back on him entirely and refused to look at him. My co-worker helped him select his wine and rung him through. I was glad she was there because I didn't want to deal with this jerk.

And the whole time he was paying, he was using the stupid Eeyore voice. And I could feel him throwing me glances. I think he wanted me to laugh along with him. I didn't get the impression that he was trying to make me upset. He was just socially retarded and clearly didn't know how to strike up an appropriate conversation.

I completely ignored him, hoping he'd get the point that he was being mean and rude. I think towards the end, he started feeling uncomfortable with my icy silence because when my co-worker said goodbye, he kind of muttered something under his breath and slunk out.

(Sidenote - He was wearing a skintight bicycling suit. I mean, SKIN tight. I didn't know whether to punch him or go bleach my eyeballs.)

[BookstoreEscapee]

(Sidenote - He was wearing a skintight bicycling suit. I mean, SKIN tight. I didn't know whether to punch him or go bleach my eyeballs.)

I vote yes.

[aurelemsrealm]

I hate people who think they're being funny when they barely know you. It's a different matter when you have regular customers who know you as well as you know them, and they decide to chime in since they are regulars.

The other day, I had a man and woman come in. The woman bought cigarettes in the first transaction, and the man bought beer in the second. I could tell the woman was old enough to buy cigarettes, so I didn't card her. State law requires ID on all beer sales regardless of age, so I had no choice but to card the man buying beer.

"Wow, that must mean I look younger than her!"

I hear such comments so frequently that I really find them annoying. Really, just shut up, get your stuff, and get out! That's all I ask of you. So, I stood there indifferently waiting for him to fish his ID out of his wallet.

Both of them were laughing. He pipes up, "Well, I thought it was funny."

I just stood there unresponsively waiting for him to hand me his ID or at least hold it up so that I could see it.

They continued laughing as he finally handed his ID to me. I nonchalantly took it from his hands, typed in the birthdate, and handed it back to him. I proceeded to ring up the rest of his items quietly. Other than being mildly annoying, it didn't bother me. I almost had to laugh, though, because he acted almost intimidated by my unresponsiveness. The truth was that I was really in no particular mood. I just didn't feel inclined to comment, laugh, or otherwise acknowledge his comment.

I often tend to operate on auto-pilot like that when I'm working. It doesn't require that much of my brain power to do my job, so I feel free to let my mind wander a little. Sometimes things register and I choose to ignore them, other times, things really don't register because the rest of my mind is preoccupied with thoughts outside of work-related thought processes.

[Imogene]

A-hem!
<Eeyore>
"Thanks fer noticin' me."
</Eeyore>

[TwoScoopsSciath]

At the Haunted House, I'm required to take tickets at the door I'm stationed at. It's about a third of the way in, but it's after the cornfield, where any goombah who felt like it could slip in unnoticed.

Me: YAY!
Random Drunk SCs: BOO!

Me: Tickets, please!
SC: I don't have a ticket!
Me:...
SC:...
Me:...
SC: LIGHTEN UP! IT WAS A JOKE!
Me: Get over it, it wasn't funny.

Me: Tickets, please!
SC: *runs up to join his friends from parking*
Me: *has everybody else's tickets* Your ticket, sir?
SC: I don't have one, but I'm with them.
Me: I'm sorry, you'll have to get a ticket.
SC: PLEEEEEEEEEASE!
Me:...

He cleared the cornfield faster than anybody I've seen yet. But he gave me a ticket.

[Imogene]

where any goombah who felt like it could slip in unnoticed.

At least they're easy to get rid of... just bounce on their head...
Er... stomp on them...
Er... throw a fireball plucked from your nose at them...
I guess that works.

[rerant]

UGH! Customers who think they're funny are the worst, since so often they come off completely rude.
Example: I draw on my eyebrows. Why? I just prefer it that way and I'd rather that than the ugly uni-brows I see most people sporting.
Anyway, one customer came up to me and the following ensued:
SC: (laughing) So are those Sharpies or tattoos?
Me: Excuse me?
SC: Your eyebrows...
Me: Are not up for discussion.
SC's wife: Stop being a jackass. You don't just ask people things like that. Grow up.

I gave her a mental high five.

[MrDelirious]

Oh, god, don't get me started on jokes I never wanted to hear again. Before my current job, I worked in the kitchen of I hospital. I'd go up to get orders, and this would happen eventually:

Me: Hi, I'm here to get your meal orders for tomorrow.
Them: Lesse, Steak and eggs, pizza, a hamburger...Ah, I'm sure you hear this all the time.
Me: Not a day goes by.