Professor Dave's Customer Lecture Series (Long, language)

[chops]

1. ALL printers now require expensive ink. That is how the printer OEMs (and yes, us) make their money. They sell the printers on razor-thin or non-existent margins, then reap a massive profit on ink. There is no escaping this fact.

Ah yes, the razor-and-blades model. I've been fascinated by this since the first time I read about it. You can thank King C. Gillette for coming up with the idea...who knew it would work so well for printers?

I'm noticing that while our printer's ink cartridges are becoming harder to find (as it's an older model), they've actually become a lot cheaper than they used to be...only about $15 each cartridge.

[Dave1982]

New Lessons for today:

How to Determine if I work Here

I've noticed that the class has been having trouble figuring out who the employees are and if they are on the clock or not, so we're going to review that chapter today.

Observe the following:

-I am wearing a company shirt with the company logo and slogan of the store you are in embroidered on the left (your right) side.

-I am wearing a name which reads "Dave1982 - Sales Associate" along with some pins signifying that I have 1 year of service under my belt and that - at one time - I was Associate of the Month.

Both items are solid indicators that yes, I do work here. Therefore, asking "Do you work here?" is superfluous and unnecessary. Instead simply say "Excuse me" and ask your question.

However, if the logo and slogan - and in particular the color - of my shirt do NOT match the store you are in, that is a solid indicator that I do NOT work here. Therefore, you should direct your questions to someone who does, as it is highly unlikely that I am either inclined or capable of helping you.

Moreover, if I am not wearing my company shirt or am in "civilian" clothes such as blue jeans, a bright orange shirt that says "Got Turkey?" or a sweatshirt with my alma mater on it, then that is a clear indicator that I either do not work here or an not on the clock. IN which case I an neither inclined nor capable of helping you.

As a side note, just because I am wearing a t-shirt that says STAFF on it does not actually mean I am a staff member at this establishment. You should note that generic STAFF t-shirts are fairly common and don't mean anything. You should also note that it says "DeLorean Motor Company" and that this is most certainly not the DeLorean Motor Company.

Failure to grasp any of the above concepts does nothing good. It annoys the person you are asking, and make you look like a retard. It can also beget sarcastic responses that can cause you considerable embarrassment.

Moving right along......

When and How Special Offers Apply

....I've also noticed confusion regarding special offers you can receive with the purchase you are making.

As a general rule, if there is an offer to receive a free item with the purchase of another specified item (be it instantly or after rebate) you are required to purchase both items at the same time. Store employees usually get upset if you come in later looking for the free item after the fact even if they don't show it. Don't forget that retail is a stressful job, and making these types of mistakes needlessly adds additional stress to their lives. Therefore, if you wish to partake in the offer, please do so. If you can't decide, then wait before buying either.

Again, engaging in contrary behavior only serves to piss off the staff and make you look like a douchebag.