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chapter 1- hotel rates
yes, hotels are expensive, everything is these days. Please do not complain that $99 is just far too expensive for a room in Newark NJ... that's at a 3 star property, I've got a reservation in a 2 star in Wells NV for $54. Manhatten is expensive, get used to it, if you don't want to pay that rate, please go to some of our fine New Jersey locations, otherwise shut the hell up and pay the cost for Manhatten. Tell me that you want something in Manhatten for under $100 I will inform you that you can park your car and that's it. Same goes with San Francisco, Atlanta, Detroit, San Diego, Seattle, and pretty much every other major city on the planet. And I don't care what city you are calling, if you are calling about one of our four or five star properties I will laugh at you when you ask why it is so expensive. If you don't recognize Crowne Plaza or Intercontinental as luxury brands then you know so little about travel you should stay home, if you confuse a Holiday Inn with a Motel 6 you shouldn't be allowed to live any longer.
chapter 2- discounts
Yes, if you ask for a AAA discount, we will ask you for a AAA card, same goes with AARP. Oh, and those are the only 2 discounts I have, I have multiple rates though. Your government rate is a negotiated rate we have with the government... yes, there are times that you negotiated rate is higher than the normal rate. Oh, and your corporate or government rate is only on standard room types... if all I have are suites I am being generous in saying I'll do it at your negotiated rate plus the normal difference in cost... with what you have negotiated I could just as easily say you have to pay full price. Oh yeah, and negotiated rates must be booked in advance, don't call me an hour before you want to check in and be surprised when I tell you it isn't available.
chapter 3- availability
if you are calling during a citywide convention we will be sold out, if you are calling the day before a holiday, we will be sold out, if you are calling at 10 at night and your flight has been cancelled, we will be sold out.
chapter 4- room types
I did not build the hotel, don't bitch to me that you wanted 2 queens, not 2 doubles. Oh, and no hotel on the planet has a room with 2 kings (not entirely true, I do know of one that does), and I also only know of one hotel with 3 beds. All rooms will have high speed internet access, sitting area, and work desk, don't need that, too damned bad, everyone else needs it, and no we won't give you a discount if you don't need it. If our standard room amenities are more than you need, maybe you need to call somewhere else, Motel 6 is good for this, they don't even have shampoo in all of their rooms. Oh yes, not all hotels have smoking rooms at all, it's called progress, if you can't stop using your death sticks, that is not our fault.
chapter 5- cancellation deadlines
If you are after the deadline to cancel, you will have a late cancellation penalty. The front desk manager may be willing to waive the fee, but that is not likely. Yes, many of our locations require 24 hour advance notice, other chains require 48 hours and upwards of a week. Oh, and online reservations do have stricter cancellation penalties, that is why they are cheaper.
yes, hotels are expensive, everything is these days. Please do not complain that $99 is just far too expensive for a room in Newark NJ... that's at a 3 star property, I've got a reservation in a 2 star in Wells NV for $54. Manhatten is expensive, get used to it, if you don't want to pay that rate, please go to some of our fine New Jersey locations, otherwise shut the hell up and pay the cost for Manhatten. Tell me that you want something in Manhatten for under $100 I will inform you that you can park your car and that's it. Same goes with San Francisco, Atlanta, Detroit, San Diego, Seattle, and pretty much every other major city on the planet. And I don't care what city you are calling, if you are calling about one of our four or five star properties I will laugh at you when you ask why it is so expensive. If you don't recognize Crowne Plaza or Intercontinental as luxury brands then you know so little about travel you should stay home, if you confuse a Holiday Inn with a Motel 6 you shouldn't be allowed to live any longer.
chapter 2- discounts
Yes, if you ask for a AAA discount, we will ask you for a AAA card, same goes with AARP. Oh, and those are the only 2 discounts I have, I have multiple rates though. Your government rate is a negotiated rate we have with the government... yes, there are times that you negotiated rate is higher than the normal rate. Oh, and your corporate or government rate is only on standard room types... if all I have are suites I am being generous in saying I'll do it at your negotiated rate plus the normal difference in cost... with what you have negotiated I could just as easily say you have to pay full price. Oh yeah, and negotiated rates must be booked in advance, don't call me an hour before you want to check in and be surprised when I tell you it isn't available.
chapter 3- availability
if you are calling during a citywide convention we will be sold out, if you are calling the day before a holiday, we will be sold out, if you are calling at 10 at night and your flight has been cancelled, we will be sold out.
chapter 4- room types
I did not build the hotel, don't bitch to me that you wanted 2 queens, not 2 doubles. Oh, and no hotel on the planet has a room with 2 kings (not entirely true, I do know of one that does), and I also only know of one hotel with 3 beds. All rooms will have high speed internet access, sitting area, and work desk, don't need that, too damned bad, everyone else needs it, and no we won't give you a discount if you don't need it. If our standard room amenities are more than you need, maybe you need to call somewhere else, Motel 6 is good for this, they don't even have shampoo in all of their rooms. Oh yes, not all hotels have smoking rooms at all, it's called progress, if you can't stop using your death sticks, that is not our fault.
chapter 5- cancellation deadlines
If you are after the deadline to cancel, you will have a late cancellation penalty. The front desk manager may be willing to waive the fee, but that is not likely. Yes, many of our locations require 24 hour advance notice, other chains require 48 hours and upwards of a week. Oh, and online reservations do have stricter cancellation penalties, that is why they are cheaper.
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