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This is one from back when I was at the call center. The provider I worked for runs a special program for "good" customers that has a few perks. Earlier phone upgrades, discounts on accessories, etc. It's not that hard to get into. You get in either by having over X number of lines or paying on time for a certain length of time.
Earlier this year a computer glitch caused a whole bunch of customers that DIDN'T qualify for the program to get lumped in with valid members. The glitch was corrected and all was well.
Except with this guy.
Me: Thank you calling <company>, how may I help you?
SC: Why can't I upgrade my damned phone!
Me: Uhh, excuse me?
SC: I was supposed to be able to upgrade this month.
Me: This shows you are not eligible until April 2009.
SC: That's what I'm talking about! I got put into your preferred customer program, I should get the earlier upgrade!
(I spend a few minutes looking into his account and I notice several things: Firstly he's one of those customers who accidentally got put into the program, secondly in the last 7 months he's only paid his bill three times, so he never would have had a chance to get in anyway. I explain this to him...)
SC: I don't care that it was a glitch, all I know was I got into the program and I was supposed to be able to upgrade this month. I want to upgrade.
Me: But you DIDN'T get into the program sir, it was an error on our part that was caught and corrected. You don't qualify for an upgrade.
SC: Then how come when I checked online before it said I could?
Me: Because there was a system error.
SC: Bullshit, I want my damned upgrade. It's not may fault your system put me in the program by mistake. I think I should get to stay in the program.
Me: You were never in it sir...
SC: WHAT??? You calling me a liar?
Me: (grrrrr) Let me explain again. You were NOT in the preferred program and you didn't qualify for the preferred program. A system ERROR caused it to appear that you were in the program, but the error was corrected a few days later to reflect that you were not in the program.
SC: Unacceptable, I should be in the damned program.
Me: Sir there are notes in your account indicating you were one of the customers affected by the glitch, you've also not paid your bill for several of the months you've had service with us. You can't get into the program if you don't pay your bills.
SC: Why the hell not? Just because I don't always pay on time doesn't mean I'm not a good customer!
Me: According to our policies it does sir. (duh!)
SC: PUT ME BACK IN THE PROGRAM! And if you can can't do it, get someone on this phone who can!!
Me: Very well sir, I will get a supervisor on the line.
(side note: Our system is INCAPABLE of putting customers in the preferred program, that's done by someone well up the ladder from us)
Sup gets on the call, the situation is regurgitated again...
Sup: My agent already explained to you that you do not qualify for the preferred program and you never have. You were put in the program due to a system error. You were never meant to be in the program.
SC: Why the hell not?
Sup: Because you hardly ever pay your bills on time sir.
SC: SO???
Sup: (gives me a "do you believe this guy?" look) The program is only for customers with GOOD pay histories sir.
SC: Screw you, where's the customer service at? Put me in the damn program and give me my upgrade!
Sup: (in the most matter of fact tone you can imagine) Start paying your bill on time and you just might get in.
SC: Don't be rude to me , asshole. I'll get your ass fired!
Sup: Ok look sir, between myself and my agent before me we have explained the situation SIX times. It was a system error. You were never supposed to be in the preferred customer program and I CAN'T PUT YOU IN. Also if you continue to use foul language I will disconnect this call.
SC: The hell you will! Put me in the program, NOW!
Sup: No!
SC: FUCK YOU! I'm going to <competitor>. To hell with this. *click*
Good effing riddance. Now he can badger some other poor soul.
Earlier this year a computer glitch caused a whole bunch of customers that DIDN'T qualify for the program to get lumped in with valid members. The glitch was corrected and all was well.
Except with this guy.
Me: Thank you calling <company>, how may I help you?
SC: Why can't I upgrade my damned phone!
Me: Uhh, excuse me?
SC: I was supposed to be able to upgrade this month.
Me: This shows you are not eligible until April 2009.
SC: That's what I'm talking about! I got put into your preferred customer program, I should get the earlier upgrade!
(I spend a few minutes looking into his account and I notice several things: Firstly he's one of those customers who accidentally got put into the program, secondly in the last 7 months he's only paid his bill three times, so he never would have had a chance to get in anyway. I explain this to him...)
SC: I don't care that it was a glitch, all I know was I got into the program and I was supposed to be able to upgrade this month. I want to upgrade.
Me: But you DIDN'T get into the program sir, it was an error on our part that was caught and corrected. You don't qualify for an upgrade.
SC: Then how come when I checked online before it said I could?
Me: Because there was a system error.
SC: Bullshit, I want my damned upgrade. It's not may fault your system put me in the program by mistake. I think I should get to stay in the program.
Me: You were never in it sir...
SC: WHAT??? You calling me a liar?
Me: (grrrrr) Let me explain again. You were NOT in the preferred program and you didn't qualify for the preferred program. A system ERROR caused it to appear that you were in the program, but the error was corrected a few days later to reflect that you were not in the program.
SC: Unacceptable, I should be in the damned program.
Me: Sir there are notes in your account indicating you were one of the customers affected by the glitch, you've also not paid your bill for several of the months you've had service with us. You can't get into the program if you don't pay your bills.
SC: Why the hell not? Just because I don't always pay on time doesn't mean I'm not a good customer!
Me: According to our policies it does sir. (duh!)
SC: PUT ME BACK IN THE PROGRAM! And if you can can't do it, get someone on this phone who can!!
Me: Very well sir, I will get a supervisor on the line.
(side note: Our system is INCAPABLE of putting customers in the preferred program, that's done by someone well up the ladder from us)
Sup gets on the call, the situation is regurgitated again...
Sup: My agent already explained to you that you do not qualify for the preferred program and you never have. You were put in the program due to a system error. You were never meant to be in the program.
SC: Why the hell not?
Sup: Because you hardly ever pay your bills on time sir.
SC: SO???
Sup: (gives me a "do you believe this guy?" look) The program is only for customers with GOOD pay histories sir.
SC: Screw you, where's the customer service at? Put me in the damn program and give me my upgrade!
Sup: (in the most matter of fact tone you can imagine) Start paying your bill on time and you just might get in.
SC: Don't be rude to me , asshole. I'll get your ass fired!
Sup: Ok look sir, between myself and my agent before me we have explained the situation SIX times. It was a system error. You were never supposed to be in the preferred customer program and I CAN'T PUT YOU IN. Also if you continue to use foul language I will disconnect this call.
SC: The hell you will! Put me in the program, NOW!
Sup: No!
SC: FUCK YOU! I'm going to <competitor>. To hell with this. *click*
Good effing riddance. Now he can badger some other poor soul.
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