Drunk in Pub-lic

[venroses]

you know you're a redneck when you call 911 for a lift home?

I had a friend who was an EMT, and he worked in a very small town (this town has no hospital). He told me that he often had people calling them to drive them into the city so they could go to the casino.

[McGoddess09]

I'm so glad my thread title got us all into a discussion about Ron White

Cookies for all!

[El Pollo Guerrera]

"Diamonds... That'll shut her up!"

[Jay 2K Winger]

"Other people learn things when I'm drunk. I had a limo driver recently learn that when I say I gotta yak... I don't mean I have a long-haired buffalo livin' in my backyard."
"Really? Whaddaya feed it?"
"......Corn."

[taxguykarl]

Ron White = awesome

"They call me....'Tater Salad'!"

More apt for this situation:

"You can't fix stupid."

[protege]

......youuuuuuu might be a redneck.

If you think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy...
If your porch collapses and kills more than 3 dogs...
If fewer than half your cars run...
If the directions to your house include "turn off the paved road..."
If the KKK kicked you out for being a bigot...
If You view the upcoming family reunion as a chance to meet women...
If you owe the taxidermist more than your annual income...
If going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves shoes and a flashlight...
If your brother and sister get divorced...from each other...

Sorry, couldn't resist

[AdminAssistant]

If you've ever gone through a drive-thru on a 4-wheeler, on horseback, or on foot.

That said - I LOVE Steak'n'Shake. Best milkshakes EVAR.

[Jester]

My all-time favorite:

"If your mother doesn't bother to take the Marlboro from between her lips before she tells the state trooper to kiss her ass......you might be a redneck!"

[Mordecai]

[

That said - I LOVE Steak'n'Shake. Best milkshakes EVAR.

Whenever I visit my relatives in Illinois I always stop by there to grab a milkshake and a burger. Too bad we don't have any in Phoenix...

[protege]

Red Robin also has good shakes. Of course they're huge--not only do you get a large shake in a glass...but you get the metal mixing thingie as well. Did I mention that's full also? Needless to say, after having my meal, I nearly destroyed myself...

[Shards]

"Diamonds... That'll shut her up!"

"For a minute."

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

If you wait outside all night for a tire sale...you might be a redneck.
If your child's night light is a neon beer sign...you might be a redneck.
If you go skinny dipping in an inflatable wading pool...you might be a redneck.

[QASlave]

Hey man, Hey man! How far do you think we can go on one engine?

All the way to the scene of the crash!

Hit something hard, I don't want to limp away for this son of a bitch.


(Gotta love Ron White)

[Kali]

I bet we beat the paramedics by a half hour!

[KMMCurly]

If you've ever had a beer during an eulogy... You might be a redneck.

"Mama looks good don't she?"
"That ain't Mama."
"Naw that's her... they just shaved her beard off!"

I couldn't resist!