Locked in the looney-bin

[lie-al]

BG - I work for a moving company. End b/g

I get a call on my phone. Brain-dead starts yelling at me as if I know how he is and what his deal is. Here how the call went.
Brain-dead = u know who, now called BD
Me = me
BD: "Bargle! Poor service! Blahh! Abacab! Zoink! RUDE! Fligerwise!"
Me: ????? (Who is this guy?)
BD: "Teeterfunk! MONEY! RUDE! Gableblaster! REFUND!"
Me: "What happened"
BD: "I just found out that the keys to my lock are gone! QUARTH!"
Me: Scans his notes on his account. BD didn't lock his unit right, so we had to re-lock it with another lock. We also threw away the new locks keys so he knows we didn't have access to his stuff. This was in December and he agreed to it at the time. Just now he's claiming this is the first he heard of this.
Me: "You can always cut the lock off when you get the unit back."
BD: "Nooooooo!!!!!! I can't!!!!!"
Me: "Or you can come to our facility before delivery and we'll cut it for you, add a new lock and hand you the keys, that way you know your stuff was never tampered with."
BD: "Noooooooo!!!! Plageezeee! Unacceptable!!!! This is YOUR FAULT!!!!"
Me: "Why is that?
BD: "The unit you sent was faultily and I couldn't lock it!"
Me: "Did you call us to let us know?"
BD: "NO! Why should I? It's your fault!!!!! Hedgehogdiddle!"
Me: "And when did you find out we re-locked your unit before shipment?"
BD: "JUST NOW!"
Me: (Bull. You knew in December. There was nothing wrong with the unit we sent. You also screamed at an agent the other day because you forgot to complete the rental and shipment paperwork, and she wouldn't do it for you. Now you expect me to take the blame for your stupidy and inactivity.)
Me: "You have 2 choices. Come to us and we'll cut the lock and give a new one, or accept delivery and you cut it yourself."
BD: "No. YOU figure out what to do!"
Me: "I already have. It's you that has to make the choice."
BD: "No! I have to go, and this is YOUR FAULT! NOW FIX IT!"
BD: Hangs up.
I fear for this world....

[Grendus]

Sadly, that probably works for him most of the time. A little anger goes a long way when pushing around spineless management.

[Geek King]

Make sure you document his account notes, of course.

[EricKei]

What GK said. Document them verbatim.

[AmbrosiaWriter]

So you had an angry Bill Crosby on the other end of your line?

[VComps]

So you had an angry Bill Crosby on the other end of your line?

Cosby.

[wolfie]

Me: "You have 2 choices. Come to us and we'll cut the lock and give a new one, or accept delivery and you cut it yourself."
BD: "No. YOU figure out what to do!"

Actually, he has a third choice - throw a hissy fit, refuse to take delivery until the storage company goes to him and gives him the keys, refuse to make any further payments because "they should have delivered my container when I told them to, but they refused", and have his goods auctioned for non-payment of rent.