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  • #16
    All I can offer is hugs and sympathy as I too have been in that position about 14 years ago when now Ex-wife left the first time. we finally separated and divorced 9 years ago after a kinda short lived "reconciliation attempt" that went NOWHERE fast.
    I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
    -- Life Sucks Then You Die.


    "I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."

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    • #17
      Quoth Jester View Post
      Even if he doesn't, continue the counseling as long as you feel you need it. And if he doesn't want counseling, it's possible he's in a bit of denial, or he's just one of those people that doesn't need counseling. (It does happen.)
      Or he has a reason to believe that the sessions are gang-up binges in reality. Surprisingly few counselor are trained for couples, also maddingly few even try to solve a problem, prefering to bemoan the problem as long as you can stand it. I went through that myself--I complained to the insurance carrier about her methods. Mrs. TGK admitted that she would never go to that counselor if there were out-of-pocket payments.
      I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

      Who is John Galt?
      -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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      • #18
        I don't care if he doesn't go for counseling anymore, frankly. We both have our issues, and it's up to us as individuals if we want to seek help for them. I like my counsellor and will probably keep her so I can do some more self inspection.

        Knowing him the way I do, he saw the counsellor to get depression meds, and won't be back. But it's not my problem anymore, is it? As long as he still makes enough money to pay both our salaries and keep me working, that's all that matters.
        The report button - not just for decoration

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        • #19
          I'm really sorry to hear about this....*hugs*
          https://www.youtube.com/user/HedgeTV
          Great YouTube channel check it out!

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          • #20
            How are you keeping up, rads?

            Thinking of you!
            You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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            • #21
              I've seen something similar happen with one of my friends, though she was on the other side of it. Married for 8 years with the only man she'd ever dated, they'd been together since high school. They had a son together, who was about 4 at this time. Her only job had been working with hime for his mortgage broker business. After a couple of years of feeling something wasn't right, trying to work out why she wasn't feeling the attraction she used to etc, going to counselling herself to talk things out with someone, she came to the conclusion that for hatever reason, the love had faded, the sexual attraction and desire wasn't there, and she just didn't want to be with him in that way any more. No cheating or another person was involved whatsoever.

              After they split/decided on divorce, they still shared the same house for another 9 months and got along fine. They've both moved on and found other partners, and everything's pretty amicable between them regarding how things were split and how they share their son.

              So it sucks, but it can happen, with no nefarious reason behind it, and it is possible to maintain some kind of friendship afterwards.

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              • #22
                Well, found a new place, so moving on the 29th. Which is good!

                I've also realised that even if he were to come to me and say "I made a mistake, let's try again", I wouldn't. I would say no.

                He's a good guy with a good heart, but there are some things about him that I realised during the course of this thing that made me say "oh...okay". And I'm not willing to go back to that, and he wouldn't change.
                The report button - not just for decoration

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                • #23
                  I'm so sorry. You are a wonderful person and you have done nothing wrong. My thoughts are with you.
                  I wasnt put on this earth to make you feel like a man ~ Mary Bertone

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