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Call center classics #1: "But it's an emergency!"

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  • #16
    Quoth Seshat View Post
    With these customers who keep repeating themselves, do you ever get tempted to say "Wabbit season!" ?

    Yes, yes I did.

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    • #17
      Quoth EricKei View Post
      ~ No, I can't ~
      ~ Yes you can ~
      ~ No, I can't ~
      ~ Yes you can ~
      ~ No, I can't ~
      ~ Yes you can YES YOU CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!! ~
      "Can you bake a pie?"

      "No."

      "Neither can I."
      "Sigh, I'm going to Hell.....but I'm going with a smile on my face." -- Gravekeeper

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      • #18
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uw-ii5zjZSk

        I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
        "Bring me knitting!" (The Doctor - not the one you were expecting)

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        • #19
          Quoth Automan Empire View Post
          "CUT my phone ON"

          Interesting syntax there.
          I never heard that much before my call center job, but in fact is commonly used slang in some places for getting something activated/deactivated (i.e. I haven't paid the bill yet so they cut my lights off last night).
          "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

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          • #20
            Love the response to "you haven't paid your bill."

            "So?"

            No money, no phone service. Why is that so hard for these people to grasp?
            When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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            • #21
              Quoth KatherineB View Post
              Am I hearing Rita from Animaniacs?
              To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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              • #22
                Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post

                (oh boy, this is going to be fun)
                Sucktomers put the F.U. in fun.

                Me: And your pass code for verification?
                SC: CUT MY PHONE ON!
                Me: I'm sorry that's not correct.
                SC: What?
                Me: 'Cut my phone on' is not the right pass code
                That was awesome!

                SC: Ok look, this is an EMERGENCY.
                Her rubber band broke? Someone tied her shoelaces together? Inquiring minds (don't) want to know.
                Happiness is the exercise of vital powers along lines of excellence in a life affording you scope.

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                • #23
                  Oh the number of people who've tried to argue with me that they need their CAR back RIGHT NOW, it's an EMERGENCY! and they'll pay for it at some point in the future, but, there's no escaping that it's an EMERGENCY and they don't have time to deal with the procedure for redeeming it, they need it NOW!!! EMERGENCY!!!

                  URGENT! URGENT! URGENT! URGENT! EMERGENCYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

                  At which point I usually tell them "nobody's bleeding, and nothing is on fire, so this is not an emergency, inconvenient for sure, but no emergency, it if was, you should have called 911 3 minutes ago instead of continuing to bark at me
                  - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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                  • #24
                    Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post
                    I never heard that much before my call center job, but in fact is commonly used slang in some places for getting something activated/deactivated (i.e. I haven't paid the bill yet so they cut my lights off last night).
                    Cutting something OFF makes sense. Cutting something ON just sounds stupid.

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                    • #25
                      Well, "Turn my Phone ON" just sounds pervy

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Quoth MoonCat View Post
                        No money, no phone service. Why is that so hard for these people to grasp?
                        It's an SC thing, we wouldn't understand....or this one is a special snowflake--such rules don't really apply[/End Sarcasm]
                        I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                        Who is John Galt?
                        -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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                        • #27
                          Quoth KatherineB View Post
                          I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

                          Don't be - hilarious. Especially liked "PWND" @ "So can a rat."

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                          • #28
                            Quoth KatherineB View Post
                            I loved that! Of course then anything about Dr Who I love.
                            "They gave me a badge with my name on it. In case I forget who I am." Dr Who - Closing Time

                            "I reject your reality and substitute my own." Adam Savage-Mythbusters

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                            • #29
                              Quoth Mr Hero View Post
                              Am I hearing Rita from Animaniacs?
                              You are, actually. Bernadette Peters.

                              ...Or ... Applejack?! o_O At least right at the beginning.
                              "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                              "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                              "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                              "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                              "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                              "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                              Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                              "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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                              • #30
                                The State of New York defines an emergency as follows:

                                Quoth Public Health Law §6810 §§6
                                any condition requiring alleviation of severe pain or which threatens to cause disability or take life if not promptly treated
                                This doesn't sound like an emergency to me. I was gonna post a story about emergencies, but I don't want to threadjack here, and it deserves its own thread anyway.

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