I'm a lowly tech support guy, so I often find myself asking simple questions that, to me, can only be answered "yes" or "no." Maybe I've been in tech support too long and I've become binary...
Me: Do you have a router?
Caller: Well, we bought this computer a few years ago...
Me: Do you have a firewall?
Caller: When we first bought the computer...
Me: Is the "online" light on your modem blinking?
Caller: I was able to access the internet yesterday. Today I tried to log on and...
Me: Let's go back to the basics. If you can look at the back of your modem... is there anything plugged into the Ethernet port?
Caller: I was vacuuming the carpet the other day...
Me: WTF?
Me: Do you have a router?
Caller: Well, we bought this computer a few years ago...
Me: Do you have a firewall?
Caller: When we first bought the computer...
Me: Is the "online" light on your modem blinking?
Caller: I was able to access the internet yesterday. Today I tried to log on and...
Me: Let's go back to the basics. If you can look at the back of your modem... is there anything plugged into the Ethernet port?
Caller: I was vacuuming the carpet the other day...
Me: WTF?
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