Can I learn to speak stupid also? Please!!!

[slick]

What is it with young people that speak in manner that makes no sense, but for some reason, I am supposed to understand this.

Girl = SG = Stupid Girl

ME: Hi, how may I help you?
SG: I was just like going to all these places and like I don't know.
ME: I'm sorry, you don't know what?
SG: Like I would like to know how much a room is....a suite.
ME: Oh, we actually do not have any suites available tonight.
SG: Oh, this is for tomorrow.....I think.
ME: For tomorrow we do have one available and its $109 plus tax.
SG: Oh, okay. And like what is a suite...I mean....uh, yeah.
ME: *confused* You want to know what a suite looks like?
SG: Yea, I think, sure.
ME: *points to brochure that has a picture* It looks like this.
SG: Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's good.
ME: Would you like to book this room?
SG: Well, if I get it, when can I cancel?
ME: Well, cancellation for a room tomorrow is over, and you will not be able to cancel without a penalty.
SG: Okay, I don't think I get it...but I understand, okay thanks.
ME: *extremely confused* Okay, have a nice day.

About an hour later, stupid guy enters.

Guy = SG = Stupid Guy

ME: Hello, how may I help you today?
SG: Okay, does your suites (yes, plural) look like dat place over derr?
ME: No, our suites look like this *points at brochure*
SG: Well damn son, that ain't even straight.
ME: What!?!
SG: How much dis dat (yes, he said dis, wtf?)
ME: We do not have any suites available for tonight.
SG: So why it say suites den?
ME: We are an INN and SUITES, we have both regular rooms and suites, we are out of the suites tonight, only regular rooms are available to rent (trying to get my point out as blunt as possible)
SG: So a regular room is (now he says it right) what? Like a lil bed and shit (why do people say that, and shit, and shit, NO MOTHERFUCKER WE DO NOT HAVE SHIT IN OUR ROOMS, UNLESS IT CAME FROM YOUR ASS!)
ME: No, its still a King size, but no microwave or fridge or couch, and the room is smaller in size than a suite.
SG: What dat is?
ME: What!?!
SG: What it be, HOW MUCH! (get aggravated with me now)
ME: $99 plus tax.
SG: What!?!
ME: NINETY NINE DOLLARS PLUS TAX.
SG: Whatever son.

Wow, I sure am glad to see that we are raising some fine young men and women in this country

[Soulstealer]

SG: I was just like going to all these places and like I don't know.

SG: Like I would like to know how much a room is....a suite.
SG: Oh, okay. And like what is a suite...I mean....uh, yeah.

I'm sorry but this is a pet peeve of mine. Do not use the word 'like' unless you're stating that you are amicable to something or using a smilie. There are people who use it every third word or so (girls you're more guilty of this).

It ticks me off so much that I just want to use pavlov's methods except instead of a bell it'll be electroshock therapy.

Now I've only taken psych100 and probably know nothing about the field but I'm sure I'll learn quick enough.

SG: Whatever son.

Are you one of my parents? Did I grow a set of balls without noticing? No?

Then you will not call me this. I think it's worst with the idiot 'gangstas' wannabe idiots. You're from a suburban middle class neighbourhood. Probably a nice one because daddy somehow can afford to buy you a nicer car than the one I own.

No, I'm not impressed that you know swear words.

I know some in three languages. I bet they're better than yours.

[gunsage]

Okay, I don't think I get it...but I understand, okay thanks.

Ve ah dealing vith und paradox!!

SG: Whatever son.

Right-o, pappy! Never understood WHY you would want to insinuate you were a) older than someone that you're probably not b) even RELATED to someone you're clearly dismissing. Jump on the PA..."ATTENTION CUSTOMERS! MY FATHER IS NOW LEAVING THE BUILDING! GIVE 'IM A WAVE, WOULDYA?!"

[Giggle Goose]

SG: So a regular room is (now he says it right) what? Like a lil bed and shit (why do people say that, and shit, and shit, NO MOTHERFUCKER WE DO NOT HAVE SHIT IN OUR ROOMS, UNLESS IT CAME FROM YOUR ASS!)

I used to have a quote in my sig: "Welcome to America--where every sentence can end with '...and shit.' "

I've also had to tell such "people" on numerous occasions that my parents gave me a name, and it sure as hell isn't "yo."

[Andara Bledin]

SG: So a regular room is (now he says it right) what? Like a lil bed and shit (why do people say that, and shit, and shit, NO MOTHERFUCKER WE DO NOT HAVE SHIT IN OUR ROOMS, UNLESS IT CAME FROM YOUR ASS!)

Well, see, the thing is that "shit" is an incredibly versatile word. George Carlin has done a couple of different routines that explore the word in question, and one of them (a re-visiting of the 7 Words You Can't Say on Television) was captured for posterity due to a court case. You can read the full (badly, mostly non-formatted) transcript HERE. (definitely NOT work safe)

^-.-^

[chainedbarista]

geh, sounds more like he needs speech therapy, specifically, enunciation.

the first one, well, like, i dunno, k?

that is also a HUGE peeve of mine as well; it's not a damn modifier, but a word used to express similarity and/or enjoyment of a given subject/object, not some filler word that is 'teh kewlness.'

she needs remedial english, in a bad way, a REALLY bad way.

[Bagga]

I think I may have posted this story before, but recycling is, like, a good thing, yeah?

I was on a bus, overhearing a girl telling her friend about a conversation she had had the previous evening, and every emotion within that conversation had to be re-enacted, as follows:

"So I said (bla bla bla) and he was like..." (Girl makes exaggerated shocked expression)

"So I looked at him and I was like...." (Girl shrugs)

"So he looked at me and he was like...." (Girl makes puzzled clown face)

"So I said (bla bla bla) and I was like...." (Girl frowns, I mean she FROWNS)

I swear, this conversation continued for about 10 more sentences, all by the same girl, all beginning with "so" and all ending with "like..." followed by a facial expression forbidden in the first chapter of 'Mime for Dummies'. In the end I was lucky enough to get off the bus, before I gave in to the temptation to lean over to the girl and say:

"So I am, like, listening to you, and I am like, SHUT THE F^CK UP!!"

[Mikkel]

It's like this

[LizaMarie]

why, dear god why, do we raise kids to think being inarticulate and stupid makes you COOL?????????

times like these make me want to go all Modest Proposal-y.

[greensinestro]

Like, what's wrong with the word "like"? Like, is it really a harmful word to, like, use almost, like, every day?

My friend's daughter is like this. Every other word is like.

"My teacher was like, 'I can't believe that!'"
"And I'm like, 'yeah, what do you think of that?'"
"Then he's like, 'wow!'"

Anyone ever see that episode of "Family Ties" when Jennifer was talking like that?

[ArenaBoy]

I took a public speaking class last year and whenever I got bored during the speeches I would count the number of times the word "like" was used in the speech. My record was 30 or 33 "likes".

[blas]

I've got two young male trainees who talk just like the guy from the second story. Since I've adopted a House way of dealing with people at work, they aren't getting far.

They'll say something along the lines of "Yo dis shit be all fucked up!"

I say "Excuse me, I didn't know Ebonics was the main language in the US? Repeat please."

"Dis shit be fucked up. I donno what da fuck to do!"

"Well, I can assure you nothing's fucked up, you probably just aren't listening to anything anyone has been telling you or following the troubleshooting guides."

"Fuck dis shit!"

The sad thing is that it is true that most young men who speak this way are not poverty stricken minorities. They are upper middle class white kids whose parents are putting them through college and they all have nicer stuff than I could ever wish for on my weekly salary.

[AriRashkae]

And this is why America is the land of $1, "Lifetime Supply" bottles of aspirin that last (maybe) 2 weeks.

[Bloodsoul]

I remember going through a "like" phase. Darn you, Beavis and Butt-head!!

But, seriously, I thought the Valley Girl style of speech ended in the 90's? Or did Clueless really have that much of a cultural impact on society? Hm, that and George Carlin just got me thinking of Bill and Ted, but they could do no wrong.

[AKWalMartCartGuy]

like shit son, like, this shit beez fucked n shit. I'm like from the streets G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-UNIT n shit, my da only makes like a half mil a year n shit, like shit son n shit



NOTE:none of that was true, I moved before my old neighborhood turned into a "hood" but I still don't live in a rich neighborhood(I live close to one though)