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My God, it seems people are getting stupider and stupider when it comes to buying furniture. If that's even possible. Hold me.
Furniture Fucktard Number 1:
I wasn't on carryouts yesterday; somebody else was, but I was recruited to help with this one. Customer bought two storage cabinets, each coming a big, long, somewhat thick box.
We got them loaded up and took them outside where the customers, a man and his wife were waiting for us....
in a Chevy Cavalier....
with their three kids in the backseat ("Mommy, Brittney touched my spot! Tell her to quit touching my spot!")....
and a bunch of shit on the floors of both the back and front of the car.
Husband looked at the cabinets....
then at his car....
then at the cabinets again.....
and then said "You know, we might not be able to fit those in here."
Wow, really dipshit?
We hauled the storage cabinets back inside the store (taking out a displayer of electric razors on the way back to the backroom). Some time later, the customers returned...
with a pickup truck....
and a trailer
Furniture Fucktard Number 2:
While counting furniture yesterday, I came across 6 assembled barstools.
Problem is, these barstools come unassembled.
Attached to the barstools was a note: "Return to stock, nothing wrong with them, customer assembled and found they were the wrong size."
Once again I see that the tape measure is an alien concept to some people. Shit, you could measure your table or bar with a yardstick or a piece of string if you had to. It would save you the time and energy of assembling even one barstool, let alone 6 of them, only to find it was the wrong size and them shlep them back to the store.
To both these customers: You fail. Hard. You fail harder than anything has ever failed before. You couldn't win on the winningest day of your life with an electrified winning machine. Please accept this award certificate (suitable for framing!) that says "I am an unbelievable moron" and this complementary drive in the ass.
And feel free to do all your shopping at Wally World from now on.
Furniture Fucktard Number 1:
I wasn't on carryouts yesterday; somebody else was, but I was recruited to help with this one. Customer bought two storage cabinets, each coming a big, long, somewhat thick box.
We got them loaded up and took them outside where the customers, a man and his wife were waiting for us....
in a Chevy Cavalier....
with their three kids in the backseat ("Mommy, Brittney touched my spot! Tell her to quit touching my spot!")....
and a bunch of shit on the floors of both the back and front of the car.
Husband looked at the cabinets....
then at his car....
then at the cabinets again.....
and then said "You know, we might not be able to fit those in here."
Wow, really dipshit?
We hauled the storage cabinets back inside the store (taking out a displayer of electric razors on the way back to the backroom). Some time later, the customers returned...
with a pickup truck....
and a trailer
Furniture Fucktard Number 2:
While counting furniture yesterday, I came across 6 assembled barstools.
Problem is, these barstools come unassembled.
Attached to the barstools was a note: "Return to stock, nothing wrong with them, customer assembled and found they were the wrong size."
Once again I see that the tape measure is an alien concept to some people. Shit, you could measure your table or bar with a yardstick or a piece of string if you had to. It would save you the time and energy of assembling even one barstool, let alone 6 of them, only to find it was the wrong size and them shlep them back to the store.
To both these customers: You fail. Hard. You fail harder than anything has ever failed before. You couldn't win on the winningest day of your life with an electrified winning machine. Please accept this award certificate (suitable for framing!) that says "I am an unbelievable moron" and this complementary drive in the ass.
And feel free to do all your shopping at Wally World from now on.
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