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  • Asshattery abounds (long. Sorry)

    So, today, I was the only employee working besides my manager and while I normally don't mind Sundays because they're slow and I have very few dealings with the general public, today really SUCKED!

    Yes, there was a plethora of suck in the mere 5 hours that I worked today, but two stand out, so I shall detail those.


    Suck #1: The Idiot Wannabe Scammer

    Sundays are generally days when I clean stuff, dust stuff, and generally straighten what needs to be done while there's minimal amount of traffic. I was cleaning the drink coolers and noticed that the Coke cooler's door had popped off the track, and was leaving the door partly open. I told my manager (M) and he joked about the horrors of all our drinks going flat. In reality we agreed it should be looked at, to ensure the small amount of space wouldn't overheat the motor that keeps the cooler going. While we were talking a guy walks in, wanders around, and apparently listens to our conversation. I go back to my register and said Wannabe Scammer comes over to talk to me. The following conversation ensues:

    Me:
    WS: Wannabe Scammer
    M: Manager who usually takes no s**t from anyone.


    WS: Hey, if I buy a drink now, can I have it in the store?
    Me: Yes, sir, but I have to ask you to keep your receipt, and make sure the drink remains closed if you decide to go into our textbook area.
    WS: Ok, sure.
    (He buys a drink, I ring him up, all is well. Until he returns about 2 minutes later
    with an empty bottle and in a huff)
    WS: (Slams empty bottle on my counter) I demand a refund!
    Me: (Looking at empty bottle) Sir, you've opened it and finished the drink, I can't give you a refund on an empty bottle.
    WS: But the drink was flat! Something's screwy with your machines and I want a refund! Or at least another drink for free.
    Me: (Takes the bottle to look it over, then spends the next few seconds resisting the urge to beat the asshat with the empty bottle because....wait for it!!.............
    HE BOUGHT A POWERADE!!)
    Me: ...
    WS: ...
    Me: Sir...you DO realize Powerades aren't carbonated to begin with...
    WS: (Splutters, then backtracks) Right! But it was still warm because you're drink machine is defective! I want...blah blah blah.
    Me: (Looks at my counter, where there is a ring of condensation from the bottle he purchased not two minutes before, and wonders if the asshat recognizes basic scientific principles) Sir, I'm sorry. I can call a manager up here for you, but that's all I can offer.
    WS: Yeah! I want to speak to your manager.
    M: (Is paged, comes out, hears the story, and basically tells the guy where he can stick the bottle)
    WS: (Storms off angrily)




    Suck #2: In which I am physically harmed!

    so, I'm cleaning once again, and see a customer coming up to purchase a textbook. I go to my register to ring her through. Now, realize, this is a brand new book package that rings up to $180. I tell her her total, and it all goes downhill from there...

    Me:
    VC: Violent customer
    M: Manager to the rescue!

    Me: All right, ma'am, you're total is $180
    VC: Can I have it for the other price instead?
    Me: Other price...?
    VC: Yes, on the tag back there it says one $180, and $130. I want the $130 price.
    Me: Um. Actually, that's a price difference between new and used books, ma'am.
    VC: (Starting to get huffy) Well, how can I tell the difference!?
    Me: Well, ma'am, under the $180 price is the word new, and under the $ 130 price is the word used. And generally, used books have a sticker on the spine. Since this is still a wrapped package, I have to charge you the new price.
    VC: (Answers with a stream of expletives telling me what I do with myself, my mother, my register and the book...) You're getting way to rude to deal with! I Want to see your manager!!!
    Me: (Pages M)
    M: (Comes up and asks what the problem is)
    VC: This <expletive> <expletive> is being <expletive> rude, and won't sell me the book for the price I want. <Few more expletives thrown in for emphasis> (She then demands the book to have a discount because of what I've put her through)
    M (Basically tells her she needs to calm down and buy the book or leave, he can't give her a discount, and he doesn't appreciate the way she's acting in his store.
    VC: Fine! See if I shop here again! Take your <expletive> book!
    (VC proceeds to turn to me and THROWS the book at me! I manage to dodge and avoid being hit in the face with a hardcover book package but still get clipped in the shoulder/collarbone area)
    M: Out of my store! Now! Never come back and expect the police to be knocking on your door for assault!
    VC: (Storms out)
    Me: (Sits on the floor behind the cash register and wonders if that really just happened.)

    M called the cops, who came, took a statement and asked if I had anything other than a description. I asked M if he'd canceled out the transaction yet and he said no, so I went in to check on the number. See, the kicker is the idiot woman is part of our membership card program. I pull up customer query, and type in her number, and boom. Name, address, phone, and email. I give it to the cops and they're going after her.

    Although I'm told, that unless she has priors, she's probably looking at a fine, anger management classes, and community service, or something of the like.


    And now I'm home from work, I have to write a paper for my class that's due tomorrow and i dun waaaaaaannnnnaaaaaaa!!!
    Last edited by lupo pazzesco; 06-16-2008, 02:08 AM. Reason: fixed a spelling boo boo

  • #2
    Well, too bad! You have to! But if you finish your homework on time I'll give ya a dozen cookies for free.
    Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

    Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

    Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

    Comment


    • #3
      I think i'll change your name from Evil Queen to Cookie Queen, for you are the barer of all things that are cookie (bows down)
      I am but a tiny, barren, insignificant rock caught in the glorious orbit of your shining sun. Gravekeeper.

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Supermarket Slave Girl View Post
        I think i'll change your name from Evil Queen to Cookie Queen, for you are the barer of all things that are cookie (bows down)
        My cookies have crack in them. Bet ya can't eat just one!
        Last edited by Evil Queen; 06-16-2008, 03:07 AM.
        Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

        Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

        Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

        Comment


        • #5
          I would have jumped over the counter and things would have really gone downhill in a way that isn't allowed to be said on this site. Cause when I restrain her for the police by preforming a citizens arrest, if she struggles I'd probably interpret it as further attempts to assault me and so when I take her down in my own way I would argue it was in self defense.

          Use the law to your advantage, that's what it's there for.
          Broadcasting to you live from the nerve center of my brain..... szzzt *we are currently experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by*

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Evil Queen View Post
            My cookies have crack in them. Bet ya can't eat just one!
            It's true.
            Now a member of that alien race called Management.

            Yeah, you see that right. Pink. Harness.

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth lupo pazzesco View Post
              Although I'm told, that unless she has priors, she's probably looking at a fine, anger management classes, and community service, or something of the like.
              Woot! Way to teach a SC the hard way that suckiness doesn't pay. Hopefully your store has cameras so the cops can view a video of the action. 'Cause I'm sure your model citizen is going to fess up to assaulting you.
              A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth bainsidhe View Post
                Woot! Way to teach a SC the hard way that suckiness doesn't pay. Hopefully your store has cameras so the cops can view a video of the action. 'Cause I'm sure your model citizen is going to fess up to assaulting you.
                No video cameras, but Manager witnessed it, and I've got a huge farking bruise forming on my shoulder. I bruise so easily, that it actually looks worse than it is. It's all sorts of interesting colors.


                Evil Queen, Evil Queen!! I finished my paper and turned it in waaaaay before it was due! (more than 12 hours before it was due!) Can I have cookies for breakfast???

                Comment


                • #9
                  That woman was PSYCHO! But it's awesome that you could pull all her info like that. I bet she's really regretting her little temper tantrum now.
                  You know, even with the fine and anger management she's going to be heavily inconvenienced, both time wise and financially, not to mention she'll probably be screwed for whatever class she needed that book for.

                  Quoth lupo pazzesco View Post
                  And now I'm home from work, I have to write a paper for my class that's due tomorrow and i dun waaaaaaannnnnaaaaaaa!!!
                  You should give it to me. I spent last night helping a friend do her final assignment and wrote a lot of it for her.
                  But hey, it was a damn sight better than sitting one my ass home alone watching TV.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth lupo pazzesco View Post
                    Although I'm told, that unless she has priors, she's probably looking at a fine, anger management classes, and community service, or something of the like.
                    That's still pretty damn good. Maybe she'll think twice before being a psychobitch in the future.
                    Excuse me, good sir paladin, can you direct me to your EVIL district?

                    http://www.dywhcomic.com

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Evil Queen View Post
                      My cookies have crack in them. Bet ya can't eat just one!
                      COOOOKIE! Braaggghhhhaaaaggghhhhhagggghhhhhhaggggghhhh....*m essy Cookie Monster-style munchmunchmunch...
                      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Evil Queen View Post
                        Well, too bad! You have to! But if you finish your homework on time I'll give ya a dozen cookies for free.
                        Quoth Evil Queen
                        My cookies have crack in them. Bet ya can't eat just one!
                        Why am I suddenly reminded of 8-bit theaters ad for Grandma Matoya's Toadhouse Cookies

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Never heard of it so I have no idea.
                          Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

                          Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

                          Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Jeebus....what the hell is in the water there?

                            And sorta OT -

                            lupo pazzesco - Using the Texas state song for your location - I do believe you and your whole flippin' state can go take a long walk off a short pier! *Wanders off muttering things about damntexans.*
                            (Although, to be fair, I don't know which state song is more lame, yours or ours.)
                            It's floating wicker propelled by fire!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hey Pagan, takes me back to New Mexico, would ya?!

                              *follows*
                              Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

                              Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

                              Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

                              Comment

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