I only help fill out forms that require ink not bodily fluids !

[Victoria J]

Not really a sucky customer just the surreal request of the day. ETA - I have nothing whatsoever to do with anything medical.

I saw a customer who had told the receptionist he needed help filling out a form - "form" turned out to a bowel cancer test.

All written parts are completed, only a stool sample is needed. Needless to say I can't help client complete this. Then he said he couldn't understand the instructions could I explain.

Highlights of the conversation :

Me : So you use this to take a sample when you're on the toilet
Him : You mean I put urine on it ?
Me : Um, no. A stool sample. (realise client has NO understanding of this test) - much worse ! We're talking poo.
Him : Oh !

Client : So I stick this *brandishes small stick* up my anus ?
Me : No ! Not so far - all you need is to get a sample...

*sigh*
Sometimes I wonder why I like my job.

I told him if he had further questions to go and ask the nurse at his GP practice. And told him I thought the tests were very important.

I think he was just clueless, I was a bit worried he was a pervert looking for reasons to discuss this kind of thing, but he didn't give of that sense. If he was he must have been disappointed - I am certified unembarrassable !

Victoria J

[Sheldonrs]

Wow! You really DO have a crappy job!


(OH! Like none of YOU were thinking of saying that!)

[calulu]

When I worked at the Crazy Clinic explaining in detail how to do that damn test was one of the more squirmy parts of the job, from explaining how to build a toilet paper nest on top of the tp seat just to crap on to get the sample to how much to smear in the little squares. Fun fun.

[marasbaras]

Wow! You really DO have a crappy job!


(OH! Like none of YOU were thinking of saying that!)

I wasn't. I was thinking of visiting the toilet for a little digestive system in reverse action.

[BaristaTrav]

Next time perhaps you could draw him a diagram?

[Victoria J]

Wow! You really DO have a crappy job!

Next time perhaps you could draw him a diagram?

No ! The gestures were bad enough.

He was particularly confused because I don't think he understands where bowels are. He was saying "but that's my bottom, what's that got to do with my bowels ?" and I was trying to explain that stuff coming out your bottom has already been through the bowels...

I'll add that to my list of things I'd never thought I'd have to break to people (top place going not to a work incident but to inadvertently traumatising my baby sister by letting slip that *shock horror* Batman's parents are dead I am sworn never to discuss Superman with her, she wouldn't cope)

Victoria J

[KitterCat]

Ugh ::shudders:: Memories of working in a lab checking in all that stuff. Never again.

[calulu]

The clinic had an illustrated pamphlet you could give out showing the steps for collection/smearing as well. It still confused folks. How hard can it be to figure out?

[jam704]

I think the last time I needed one of these I got the pamphlet. I think the nurse was to busy chatting with the x-ray techs to even bother with a patient.

[Geek King]

The clinic had an illustrated pamphlet you could give out showing the steps for collection/smearing as well. It still confused folks. How hard can it be to figure out?

Well, I guess some folks just can't find their ass with a map...



<Runs away!>