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I Wasn't Expecting That

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  • I Wasn't Expecting That

    They say it's better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

    As a corollary, it's probably better to be thought of as a scofflaw, than to do something truly stupid and simultaneously illegal, and remove all doubt.

    For a while now, there's been a car in one of the lots I check that I suspect has an expired permit.

    The permits here are big tags that hang from the rearview mirrors and rotate through a triumvirate of day-glo colors as the semesters progress (Marine lifesaving flotation device orange to cartoon nuclear waste spill green to magical anime super heroine hairdo pink and back again)

    Well, here it is, three weeks into the new semester, and this lone vehicle is the only one in the lot with a permit that's the wrong color, green when everyone else has gone pink. Now, I'm 99% sure it's expired, but, I can't see the actual dates as the permit is hanging up BEHIND a campus parking pass that obscures them, probably done on purpose. Try as I might, I cant stretch my neck enough to see in between the two, so I can't say for sure it's expired (and can't see the serial number either so I can't track it down through the office and ask them if they know when it ran out)

    I'm 99.9% sure if I tow it, it'll be a good tow. But, there's that nagging voice in me saying he might be the exception that proves the rule. I can't say with certainty some temp in the rental office accidentally issued the wrong color, or he's some kind of maintenance dude with a "no expiry" permit, meaning I'll accomplish nothing but making enemies of people who MATTER should I go with my gut.

    Well, since the preceding weeks had me busy towing the easy no-hope/no-permit-at-all illegals until the lots were fished out, I didn't think much of it and just filed it away under "on some rainy slow day, I'll look into that if he's still there."

    Yesterday was that day, I took some time and wrote out a warning note as the car was still there and still had the suspect permit.

    It said "permit dates not readable/visible. Display permit correctly or vehicle will be towed"

    A quasi-bluff, I can't tow him for that, but, hopefully HE doesn't know that and it will scare him into submission. He'll either get a good permit, or he'll leave, or he'll do nothing and I can issue a couple more warnings and then probably cajole the rental office into letting me tow him. Either way, he won't be my problem anymore...

    Little did I know, he'd take a 3rd option.

    The stupid one

    He forged a current permit.

    Way to go

    Credit where it is begrudgingly and fleetingly due, he did get the nearly-correct color of paper. And, scanned in his old permit, turned up the contrast to white-out everything but the lettering before reprinting it. He also remembered to digitally-edit the 2014 (ha! I was right! It WAS expired!) date to 2015. ANd, that's where the good news ended

    Now, the bad news.

    Obvious scissor marks for one. For two, I said he remembered to change the year, the problem was he didn't use the right font. A look at the real permits in the car next door shows the "5" in "2015" has a little "hook" on the end of the bottom most stroke. His was flat.

    But, most damning of all was the pack of pink construction paper, torn open, with one sheet missing, left lying on the passengers seat.

    Yeah, that's not just leaving a bloody knife at the scene of a crime...

    That's leaving a bloody knife, tied to a smoking gun, tied to a tape containing CCTV footage of you committing the murder, stopping during the switch from bladed weapons to firearms to hawk your new upcoming book, "How I shot and stabbed this guy and tried to get away with it", available now for $8.99 plus shipping from Amazon.com, and don't forget to like me at "Murderous Psycho" on facebook.

    To his credit, he didn't try to argue he hadn't been caught red handed, he just asked, wearily "how much this gonna cost me?" He'd walked outside when he noticed us leaving with the car.

    Short Answer: $65 right now, or $115 if you decline and we finish towing it.

    Shorter Answer: A lot more than getting a real permit.

    And that's not even factoring in the $5 or so he must've spent on that purdy colored paper.... he should take the next few days and stare at it, maybe that'll stimulate some brain growth in him, having a few extra neurons to put to work might keep him from ever considering and going through with a plan that stupid ever again.
    Last edited by Argabarga; 09-26-2014, 05:45 AM.
    - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

  • #2
    At least he was nice about it. Course' it would be nicer if he had obeyed the law...
    I might be crazy, but I'm not Insane.

    What? You don't play with flamethrowers on the weekends? You are strange.

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    • #3
      I wasn't expecting that

      Quoth Argabarga View Post
      They say it's better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
      No one expects the Spanish Inquisition. Our chief weapon is: A fanatical devotion to reading parking permits and a great big tow truck...

      Our two weapons are: A fanatical devotion to reading parking permits, a great big tow truck and an attention span greater than a gnat...

      Among our weapons are: A fanatical devotion to reading parking permits, a great big tow truck and an attention span greater than a gnat.

      THAT'S IT!

      Cardinal Biggles, fetch the comfy chair.

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      • #4
        oh no not the comfy chair!!!!

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth dawnfire View Post
          oh no not the comfy chair!!!!
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXrAK6sUZ_0
          Interviewer: What is your greatest weakness?
          Me: I expect competence from my coworkers.

          Comment


          • #6
            Not the Doctor Who episode I was expecting . . .

            After this, I have no need for comfy chairs.
            They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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            • #7
              Ever notice how some people will work much harder at doing something illegal and/or stupid than they would if they just did what they're supposed to do in the first place?
              When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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              • #8
                In my line of work, I constantly see people that intentionally make their lives waaaay more difficult, as they always want to achieve "little victories" against "the man"... even if the extent of the "victory" lays entirely within their own head.

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                • #9
                  Quoth MoonCat View Post
                  Ever notice how some people will work much harder at doing something illegal and/or stupid than they would if they just did what they're supposed to do in the first place?
                  I've noticed that a lot. It doesn't make any sense at all. Of course, people like that don't have any sense, so...
                  I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                  My LiveJournal
                  A page we can all agree with!

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Sapphire Silk View Post
                    Not the Doctor Who episode I was expecting . . .

                    After this, I have no need for comfy chairs.
                    Heh. He made you say "comfy chairs."

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