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The fun of nitpicking disaster movies

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  • The fun of nitpicking disaster movies

    I'm sitting here watching a 1979 movie called "Plague", which involves a research lab that appears to be run by a babbling, bumbling band of baboons, when you look at their security and safety measures, including what the staff is wearing while INSIDE the lab.

    And of course there is the oft-repeated phrase: "This place is locked down tight! NOTHING can get out!!"

    Then there's the husband who calls home to tell his wife "I can't tell you what's happening; just listen to me and do exactly as I say."

    Wife: "What's wrong??"

    Husband: "NOTHING'S wrong! Just listen and do exactly as I say!!"

    He then tells her to pack the kids and get out of the city. In fact, get out of the country. In fact, get the f*** out of the Western hemisphere entirely. Go to England.

    But nothing's wrong.
    Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
    ~ Mr Hero

  • #2
    I'm not usually one to nitpick things unless something REALLY stands out against me.

    Like in Chappie, the company that makes the robots-- a defense contractor with governmental/military contracts-- has such lax security that someone is able to just drive off the facility with scads of proprietary technology.
    PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

    There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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    • #3
      I can usually enjoy a movie even if there are stupid things going on, up until a point. If the plot and characters are done well enough, I can let lots of things slide. I'm not overly critical, but sometimes you just have to start enjoying the stupidity. I can have a lot of fun that way!
      Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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      • #4
        One of my favorites of WTF-ery is a 1973 movie called "Horror Express" with Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee. It's an OK little film with a Hammer Film-like atmosphere, but the explanation of what's is happening is 100% incredible BS.

        I'd spoil it but it's so unbelievable I'd recommend people seeking it out...
        "Kamala the Ugandan Giant" 1950-2020 • "Bullet" Bob Armstrong 1939-2020 • "Road Warrior Animal" 1960-2020 • "Zeus" Tiny Lister Jr. 1958-2020 • "Hacksaw" Butch Reed 1954-2021 • "New Jack" Jerome Young 1963-2021 • "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff 1949-2021 • "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton 1958-2021 • Daffney 1975-2021

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        • #5
          Don't get me started on guns in movies.
          AkaiKitsune
          Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

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          • #6
            Quoth Rosco the Iroc View Post
            Don't get me started on guns in movies.
            Guns in movies don't run out of bullets until the script calls for it.
            "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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            • #7
              And don't get ME started on costuming in "history" films . . .

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              • #8
                Quoth Ironclad Alibi View Post
                Guns in movies don't run out of bullets until the script calls for it.
                Or arrows for that matter.
                Eh, one day I'll have something useful here. Until then, have a cookie or two.

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                • #9
                  Quoth morgana View Post
                  And don't get ME started on costuming in "history" films . . .
                  NOthing quite like going to opening night of Braveheart in appropriate costume of the *real world* in a group of about 20 SCAdians who have probably each put somewher around 500 hours of research into their characters ...

                  [just as an aside, I have around 2000 hours of research back in the late 80s pre internet done with books and actually corresponding with archeologists in several of the 'stans on my turkmenistani 12th century nomad, around 1000 hours on my Imperial Roman era Alexandrian Roman, and around 1000 hours on my middle class shopkeeper/tailors guild widow Elizabethan, and somewhere around 200 hours on Persian 15th century woman. I keep up with a number of publications on all of my personas and update as new discoveries are made It is an ongoing process =) ]

                  I research what women did, how they ran their houses or businesses, and adore both sewing and cooking ... made my own clothing for my personas for some 35 years now.
                  EVE Online: 99% of the time you sit around waiting for something to happen, but that 1% of action is what hooks people like crack, you don't get interviewed by the BBC for a WoW raid.

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                  • #10
                    My favourite with Mission Impossible and similar action flicks is a rousing game of "spot the backstabbing".

                    Or, for prequels, "how are the characters not in later canon going to die?"
                    Cheap, fast, good. Pick two.
                    They want us to read minds, I want read/write.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Ceir View Post
                      Or, for prequels, "how are the characters not in later canon going to die?"
                      Or the alternative: How will Sean Bean die?
                      "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Ironclad Alibi View Post
                        Or the alternative: How will Sean Bean die?
                        Meh, too easy. For me it's watching things like CSI or NCIS and nit-picking procedure, "hacking" or science theory. Not that I'm anything other than a rank amateur, but even I know better than 2 people, 1 keyboard...!
                        "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

                        Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

                        The Darwin Awards The best site to visit to restore your faith in instant karma.

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                        • #13
                          Quoth morgana View Post
                          And don't get ME started on costuming in "history" films . . .
                          A couple of my re-enactor buddies do just that, although they'll nitpick *everything* with history films, not just the costuming.

                          We've also weaponised it - we do a show at one of the fairs we're at and part of said show involves us showing how a "hollywood" round sounds like (arrows with whistler heads) vs a "real round" (arrows without whistler heads). Gotta love the sound.

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                          • #14
                            Quoth LadyofArc View Post
                            We've also weaponised it - we do a show at one of the fairs we're at and part of said show involves us showing how a "hollywood" round sounds like (arrows with whistler heads) vs a "real round" (arrows without whistler heads). Gotta love the sound.
                            Ooh, that sounds fun! Admittedly my historical nitpicking is more along the lines of "for crying out loud, he/she'd be hung as a witch if he/she said/did that!" or occasionally "why the heck would they say that? That phrase came about because {reason} so there's no reason why that phrase would be used now."
                            "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

                            Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

                            The Darwin Awards The best site to visit to restore your faith in instant karma.

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                            • #15
                              Quoth greek_jester View Post
                              Ooh, that sounds fun!
                              It is!

                              Our show goes something like this:

                              - Most of us stand around while 3-4 of our members shoot warbows at a chest plate and at a piece of maille with a watermelon behind it. Two of our members will then parade that around while our shouty man rambles on.

                              - We then showcase some of the melee weapons of that era by attacking delicious watermelons, which are usually covered by helms or plate.

                              After all that, the real fun begins and we do a few rounds:

                              - 2 rounds are done as clout rounds (one "whistler" round and one non-whistler round)

                              - We run forward and shoot long-range at a stack of MDF shields that we've lined up.

                              - We then run forward and shoot close-range at those same shields.

                              - We then split off into two groups: those with low-poundage bows grab hold of LARP arrows, while those with higher-poundage bows or similar will grab pink hobby horses. At that point, the ones with the arrows get to shoot the guys on the hobby horses who are charging towards them in a "Totally 100% accurate re-enactment of the battle of Agincourt or Crecy," (the name changes occasionally).

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