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Sir, you've dialed the wrong number!

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  • #16
    I gotcha all beat. I broke up a marriage.....or something.....this story is still barely believed by even me, and I'm the one that went through it! This happened before we had caller ID in our area.

    My RL name is Jennifer, which is a VERY common name, not only for people my age, but also for the area. There were 6 Jennifers in my 2nd grade class, and there were 20 students in the classroom. So anyway....

    Phone rings and I answer.

    Me: Hello?
    Confused Angry Wife: Yes, is Jennifer there?
    Me: Yes, this is she.
    CAW: YOU F**CKING C*** B**** [expletives I have never heard even in the military, working around truckers, or even sailors] This went on for a few minutes, so I hung up.

    Ring.
    Me: Hello?
    CAW: How dare you hang up on me [expletives ad nauseum]
    Click.

    Ring. (At this point I'm giggling because my day had otherwise been boring, and I have a twisted sense of humor).
    Me (ever so sweet): Hello?
    CAW: [expletives]
    Me: How about you call me back when you're done? This is boring.
    Click.

    Ring.
    Me: So you're done then?
    CAW: I am so f*cking pissed at you right now, Miss Jennifer.
    Me: Ok......about what?
    CAW: ABOUT WHAT??? You're f*cking my husband?
    Me: No, I'm not.
    CAW: Yes, you are!
    Me: No, I'm not. Not possible. I'm a virgin. [I really was at the time]
    CAW: .......

    Just then, my friend walked in from the kitchen, and decides to holler: Guess you're lucky anal and oral don't count!

    Click. That time it was her hanging up. Me and friend about peed ourselves laughing, yeah, it was immature, but we were dumb kids!

    The next night the phone rings again, and my little brother answers.

    Him: Its for you. [tosses phone]
    Me: Hello?
    Male voice: You stupid bitch, how dare you ruin my marriage you dumb c*nt. Can't you keep your big mouth shut? How did you even find my number?
    Me: [thoroughly enjoying this at the time] Number? She called me!
    MV: ???
    Me: And next time tell her to make sure she's got the right Jennifer, its a common name, and I don't know who the hell either of you are! And shame on you for cheating on your wife!

    Click.

    I still don't know what the hell happened.
    ...how do used tampons attract thieves? ---Sleepwalker

    Chickens are Asexual!

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    • #17
      I get people who call the library and after opening with the spiel, they will say, "opps, wrong number". Also, 411 will give people our number even if they didn't ask for us, but another library. So far no one has caused us problems or argued with us (unless I'm blocking it).

      But for my home phone, there is a number like ours. We get a lot of calls of "Is Amy there?" No one really caused problems, except for the people who keep on calling back.

      One time this guy called"
      Idiot: Hi, I'm Mr. X. calling you back from X law firm.
      Me: Sorry, you got the wrong number.
      Idiot: no, you left your number was on my answering machine.
      Me: No, I didn't call you.
      Idiot: Well your number is on my machine.
      Me: You must have dialed the number wrong, I never called a lawyer *click*

      He didn't call back, so maybe he thought it was a prank or he finally dialed the number right.
      Time! Time! Time is what turns kittens into cats.

      Don't teach me a lesson; all I learn is that you are an asshole.

      I wish porn had subtitles.

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      • #18
        LOL - yes, Jennifer wins this round of 'wrong number tales'! Hilarious!

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