Was I justified?

[Phantomgrift]

Wherein I got annoyed at one of the rudest fucking waiters I've ever had the misfortune to encounter.

Back in March of this year, my wife and I went on a trip to Washington State to visit friends and catch up with folks. During a visit to Seattle, we met with others at some little high-end bar/grill downtown. The food wasn't to bad but our waiter... Holy crap, one of the rudest individuals I've ever encountered.
He took an inordinate length of time to take our orders, routinely ignored any drink refills, showed up at the table long enough to give us our food and nothing else, and essentially gave off numerous indicators that he would have been glad to see us vanish off the face of the earth. I'd still like to know what bug crawled up his ass...

The part that really bothered me though was as follows:
After a couple of hours, we finally managed to flag him down for our bills.
Due to the nature of the people in our party, we needed predominately seperate checks.
Now, yes, I'm aware that a gratuity is added when theres more than x number of people at a table. What started me on the road to pissed off was how they worked their gratuities- 30% added for groups over X........ Apparently based on individual bill!
Other places I've been, even when seperate checks were involved, the total gratuity was divided evenly amongst the entire party and the fee added to each bill- This ensures everyone pays the same amount to the waiter.
In this place? Someone apparently decided it was a bright idea to tack on a 30% gratuity based on each individual bill.
This didnt sit to well with me. In short, my single friend gets off with a minimal tip added on because of what he ordered, but because I was paying for myself and my wife, I ended up paying a "tip" that could have bought us another entirely seperate dinner.

Rather confused, I tried to ask the guy what the reasoning behind it was and his reaction indicated I'd just told him to go clean dog-shit off my car with his tounge.
I asked if getting a manager would achieve anything only to have him tell me "no, not really"... So instead of making things worse, I just sucked it up and got ready to leave.
However, by this point most of our friends have moved out to the parking lot and the jackass waiter had moved on to a seperate part of the establishment. Feeling the service granted me nowhere remotely qualified for a 30% tip, I proceeded to calmly collect four half-empty glasses of beer and pour them out over the table-top.

I guess my thoughts at the time were "If you're going to collect on a 30% tip, than by jove you're going to earn the damn thing."

I'm now curious as to what others here on the board would have done in that situation. Was I even remotely justified in my petty payback stunt?
... And if it helps, I can honestly state I'm never going to darken that doorstep ever again.

[Mr Yuck]

I wouldn't have poured the beer. You probably punished a busboy.

I would have asked for a manager. Good tipping is nice, but i'm not tipping 30% for crappy service and would have at least worked at getting a reduction.

[Phantomgrift]

It could possibly factor into a clue about his attitude, but I did notice that our waiter was one of the few in the building. I know that unless he wrangled someone else into it, he had to clean off our table.
If I had been by myself, I would have tried further to get a manager, but at that point, it was late, we'd all been up since roughly 0600 in the morning and I was one step removed from cold-cocking that jerk on the jaw.

[reimero]

There is one correct response in that situation, and that is to go directly to the manager, regardless of what the waiter tells you.
First and foremost, be aware that gratuities are never mandatory (in the US, anyway), and that 30% is excessive. 18-20% is the norm.
Also be aware that for IRS purposes, the government is going to assume the server will receive 8% of his gross sales as tips (after tip-share and whatnot.) So he's going to get taxed on money he may or may not have received. For this reason, I am generally reluctant to leave less than 8%. But not always.

Anyway, go to the manager. Be calm, be polite, and have your arguments in order. If you come across as a reasonable person with reasonable expectations (drink refills within a reasonable time, a server who is not rude and who checks back, that sort of thing), managers will usually be responsive.
The other thing to keep in mind is that the remedy you seek has to be reasonable. In your particular case, I would ask that the gratuity be removed and perhaps that the drinks be comped. In my own experience, though, I've found that the more modest my requests are, the more likely the managers are to over-compensate, especially if it's obvious I'm not trying to be a SC. In one recent case I simply asked that the included gratuity be removed, and the manager also removed the drinks. In another, there was a serious problem with the computer system which the server didn't communicate, and the server also screwed something else up. After I paid, when I was leaving, I expressed my displeasure to the manager, who offered to comp the meal. I said I'd already paid, but wanted to give the manager feedback, so the manager gave me a coupon for 2 free entrees.

Go to management, keep your expectations reasonable and bend over backwards not to be an SC or come across as a scammer, and most managers will also be reasonable.

One other thing I've done: if the server was absolutely terrible, I've told management and given the manager the tip (or part of the tip) the server would have received, with the instructions that this is to be tip-shared with the hostess/bar/bussers or whomever else is in the normal tip-share group. Do this, and management WILL make sure you're taken care of, because you're sending the message that you're not cheap.

Finally, I like telling managers when service is excellent as well. I figure if a server does a good job, he or she would appreciate it if management were to find out from a customer.

[Becks]

I am deeply appalled (abeckyed? silly family) that you poured out the beer.

[blas]

Alcohol abuse!!!!!

There had to be a more mature way to go about that....

[erasily_ani]

While I admit that 30% is excessive, you were extremely sucky, I hate to admit.

If you had left it at asking for a manager, that would have been fine. It is perfectly acceptable to talk to a manager if you think the waiter does not deserve the automatically included gratuity. However, what you said about how that gratuity was divided? I have never heard of anywhere that would just divide the entire tip amount by the number of people or checks. Gratuity is generally assumed to be based on your bill, so it is perfectly logical to me that included gratuity (usually 18 - 20%, not 30%) would be applied to each individual check. My guess is your buddy would have wanted to raise heck if he'd been requested to pay the same amount of tip as you, being as he ordered less and, assumedly, took up less of the waiter's time / work.

Up until that time, you were fine.

But pouring the beer? That was very sucky, and rather childish. I'm sure there could have been a better way to handle it.

[Pedersen]

You ask if you were justified? No, no you weren't.

The only proper response would be to get a manager. If that failed to provide proper response, then a complaint to whatever higher ups you can find. And if that failed, there's nothing else to do other than not go there ever again.

It is, from what I've seen (not experienced, so I could be wrong), extremely rare for waiters to bus their own tables. As a result, the waiter gave crappy service, got a great tip, and didn't have to clean the mess. Somebody else got to clean that up.

Bad form all around.

[rerant]

Totally inappropriate and utterly immature.

Even if the waiter said that speaking to a manager wouldn't accomplish much that doesn't mean you still couldn't have done it.

[walking with scissors]

No, you were not justified. You were quite the sucky customer. A talk with the manager was the thing to do.

[kibbles]

The worst thing is the waiter probably wasn't the one who had to clean it up. But the tipping part confuses me:

-How can they automatically tack a tip onto a bill? What would have happened if you refused to pay it?

It's not really a tip if it's automatically tacked on the bill IMO.

But, the beer was over the top, especially since someone else could have been made to clean it up. But I understand you frustration.

[reimero]

You can refuse to pay a gratuity which has been added to the bill.

[MyEccentricHell]

I'm now curious as to what others here on the board would have done in that situation. Was I even remotely justified in my petty payback stunt?

There really is no justification for your little stunt, next time ask for a manager.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I'm now curious as to what others here on the board would have done in that situation. Was I even remotely justified in my petty payback stunt?

No. Not in the least.

I would've spoken to the manager about that server anyway and let him/her either deal with the server or brush me off. I sure as hell wouldn't have acted like a 2-year-old and started dumping beer all over the place.

... And if it helps, I can honestly state I'm never going to darken that doorstep ever again.

If it were my restaurant and I saw you doing that, you certainly wouldn't, because you would have been banned.

[Gawdzillers]

Doesn't the busboy have to clean that up?
Bad Phantomgrift, bad!