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  • Just Sad

    On the one hand, this wasn't deliberate suckage because I believe that the customer concerned had a genuine illness and could not help the way she behaved, on the other hand as a fellow customer, I didn't have to be involved in this and was able to just watch as the poor shop assistant struggled to know how to react appropriately and politely.

    But maybe there was no appropriate way to know how to react to it.

    As far as I can remember, possibly not word for word.

    Customer gets to counter in front of me, in small local shop, and puts items out for cashier to ring up.

    Cashier "thats *£8.22, or however much it was* please
    customer *to herself loudly and aggressively* "take the fucking money out, pay! Hurry up!
    customer to herself *in defensive tone of voice* "I am, I know how to pay!"

    Cashier looking a little confused
    customer hands over money, gives change to customer

    customer "put the change in your purse before you lose it, can't you do anything right?"
    customer "I am, look, I am, look at me doing it!"

    cashier now has fixed grin on face

    cashier "thank you, goodbye"
    customer "thank you goodbye"

    customer is walking out of the door talking to herself still "did you say goodbye?did you? oh i don't know........you should always say thank you anyway"

    customer goes out of earshot.

    cashier and i exchange a glance then get on with our own transaction.Something struck me as incredibly sad about how the woman was coping and whether in fact she was coping.
    Customer "why did you answer the phone if you can't help me?"

  • #2
    I think that she had a lot more control than it may appear, all things considered.
    SC: "Are you new or something?"
    Me: "Yes. Your planet is very backwards I hope you realize."

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    • #3
      Quoth TelephoneAngel View Post
      cashier "thank you, goodbye"
      customer "thank you goodbye"

      customer is walking out of the door talking to herself still "did you say goodbye?did you? oh i don't know........you should always say thank you anyway"
      At least she's trying to be polite.

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      • #4
        Oh dear.

        On my bad days, I have a similar internal dialogue, but at least I'm able to keep it internal.

        I'd definitely say she's ill, and needs more help than she's getting. At least she's semi-functional.
        Seshat's self-help guide:
        1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
        2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
        3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
        4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

        "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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        • #5
          Quoth Seshat View Post
          On my bad days, I have a similar internal dialogue, but at least I'm able to keep it internal.
          Same here, and if it wasn't internal you'd have heard a line about being quiet dammit, people can hear!

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          • #6
            Poor thing.

            Not to poke fun, (because I mean this with all kindness) but stories like this make me grateful that I'm able to keep the voices in my head internalized.
            "So, if you wanna put places like that outta business, just stop being so rock-chewingly stupid." ~ Raudf, 9/19/13

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            • #7
              Its interesting that others of you have said that you feel the same way as that woman sometimes.

              Can I ask, then, what sort of illness is it? szitophrenia, or something similar? What sort of medication brings it under control?How should onlookers react to this behaviour, pretend you haven't noticed?Or try to interact with the person?
              Customer "why did you answer the phone if you can't help me?"

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              • #8
                Not so much an illness in my case, just social difficulties. What most people can do intuitively, I have to do consciously. If I'm tired then I need to remind myself of it. If I'm having a bad day I tend to be somewhat less polite about telling myself how to do things. The fact that she was talking out loud is what I would take as a sign that this is symptomatic of an illness of some kind, and I wouldn't know what it was.

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                • #9
                  Quoth TelephoneAngel View Post
                  Its interesting that others of you have said that you feel the same way as that woman sometimes.

                  Can I ask, then, what sort of illness is it? szitophrenia, or something similar? What sort of medication brings it under control?How should onlookers react to this behaviour, pretend you haven't noticed?Or try to interact with the person?
                  People with bipolar disorder or schizophrenia can have auditory hallucinations, or any person in a psychotic state. The voices are personalized thoughts and ideas, but can be very frightening because they seem very real, and separate from the sufferer.

                  Other people merely have a habit of voicing their internal thoughts inappropriately; this is more of a social function disorder. Sometimes they can control it, sometimes not.

                  It's perfectly normal to sometimes voice your inner thoughts unintentionally; it's simply a slip of conscious control. It's only pathological IF it is constant, uncontrollable, and impairs your daily functioning.

                  This person may simply have been very tired, having a bad day, and not exercising caution over the brain to mouth impulse
                  They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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                  • #10
                    Anyone else getting a visual of Gollum with a handbag?

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                    • #11
                      Treat it as you would someone talking in two conversations at once - respond to the parts addressed to you, ignore the rest.
                      (Only they're not being rude, unlike a person who won't get off the cellphone.)

                      It could be the symptom of a wide variety of problems, anything from a failure of the brain-to-mouth filter, to the kind of social problems Magpie described.

                      Sudden appearance of such a problem could be a symptom of physical damage to the brain; and should be investigated promptly. Take a friend or family member with any sudden behavioural change to the doctor; especially if it's a change they appear to be unable (rather than unwilling) to revert.

                      Gradual appearance of such a problem is more likely to be neurochemical than physical; but also should result in medical diagnosis and, if necessary, treatment.


                      Rule of thumb with disability: treat the person as a person first, just as you would anyone else. Attempt to ignore the disability, if it doesn't require special accommodation. If it does, provide the special attention with a minimum of fuss.

                      It IS acceptable to ask if they mind talking about the disability (as long as they're not trying to catch a plane or something); it's even more acceptable if it's a child asking - young children are always curious about difference.
                      Seshat's self-help guide:
                      1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                      2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                      3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                      4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                      "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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