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The Last Subway Rants
I say last because as of March 3rd, 2012 I no longer work there. I was fired, but it was a blessing in disguise. Now I'm freelancing with my art and making money that way. They did me a favor. It was utter hell the entire nearly 6 years I was there. If it wasn't the nasty, vile customers it was the backstabbing and devious management and their games. The only good that ever came from there was meeting my best friend, S in 2008.
I decided to squeeze out a few more rants in memory of that awful place.
SRV8: The final Volume:
1. "What veggies are GOOD on this?"
-This has always boggled my mind. How the fuck am I supposed to know what veggies would taste good on YOUR sandwich? This is your sandwich, not mine. I hate cucumbers but what if you like them? Is it that hard to pick the veggies that you personally like from clearly visible bins directly in front of your face? Another sub-category of this is people asking me what "usually" comes on it? It doesn't USUALLY come with anything. You pick what you like and we put it on. What a concept!
2. People who say they want a cold cut trio but really don't.
-This means as soon as they say they want the cold cut trio, they immediately start demanding that I remove certain offending segments of meat from the cold cut trio meat setup. (note: the cold cut trio is the only sandwich that has the meat already arranged in its own setup, meaning it all comes together in one setup of meat) Don't get pissed when I say that I cannot. Why? Because it's wasting meat. We now cannot use that meat you wanted taken out for anything else and it goes right to the trash. The inventory monkeys (see management) hate waste. Either that, or demand that I substitute one meat for something else. No, that's also not happening. Don't like what comes on the cold cut? DON'T GET THE COLD CUT!
3. "I want double meat on my premium sandwich!!!!!111"
-Not only are you showing how much of a glutton you really are, but double meat is not included in the premiums. Why? Because they already have enough meat on it to feed a 3rd world country for the next 10 years. Haven't you figured out that that's the reason why your sandwich costs the same as getting a nice 3 entree meal at a decent restaurant? Don't get mad when we say we can't do it because we literally can't! It's not even programmed in the computer. It even says in small print that double meat is not included on premium subs. (Philly, Pastrami, Pulled Pork, etc) Go ahead, throw your tantrum. Even if we somehow figured out a way to do it, you'd just get pissed off about your sandwich being over $15 bucks.
4. Text message orders.
-I hate this shit so much. If you have a huge order of sandwiches, what in your right mind thought an efficient way to categorize your order was through a big fat text on your phone? As far as I know, pen and paper still exist. Text orders slow everything down because they are so unorganized. Double rage points to the people who show up and still don't have all of their "orders" texted to them so they have to wait. Fuck that noise. And to think I used to hate lists (mostly because I knew lists = lots of sandwiches), but I'd gladly take a list over a text order version of a list.
5. The Smile on Command police.
-Are you here to order Subway food or are you really here to tell people how they should look at all times? If you want to spend $5-15 bucks on food just to get the satisfaction of telling employees how they should look and feel then that's your prerogative, but I'm not playing. My Aspergers puts me at a massive disadvantage on this because I'm not naturally a smiley person, and when I'm focused or concentrating on something I get a serious look on my face. As long as I'm not being an asshole and am on top of your order just how you want, you have no right to tell me to smile. Smiling on command was not included in my programming and if you don't like it then fuck off. I may be paid to tolerate you for minimum wage but that crosses the line to me.
And on a final note: Hell hath no fury like a woman separated from her precious Mayonnaise.
I decided to squeeze out a few more rants in memory of that awful place.
SRV8: The final Volume:
1. "What veggies are GOOD on this?"
-This has always boggled my mind. How the fuck am I supposed to know what veggies would taste good on YOUR sandwich? This is your sandwich, not mine. I hate cucumbers but what if you like them? Is it that hard to pick the veggies that you personally like from clearly visible bins directly in front of your face? Another sub-category of this is people asking me what "usually" comes on it? It doesn't USUALLY come with anything. You pick what you like and we put it on. What a concept!
2. People who say they want a cold cut trio but really don't.
-This means as soon as they say they want the cold cut trio, they immediately start demanding that I remove certain offending segments of meat from the cold cut trio meat setup. (note: the cold cut trio is the only sandwich that has the meat already arranged in its own setup, meaning it all comes together in one setup of meat) Don't get pissed when I say that I cannot. Why? Because it's wasting meat. We now cannot use that meat you wanted taken out for anything else and it goes right to the trash. The inventory monkeys (see management) hate waste. Either that, or demand that I substitute one meat for something else. No, that's also not happening. Don't like what comes on the cold cut? DON'T GET THE COLD CUT!
3. "I want double meat on my premium sandwich!!!!!111"
-Not only are you showing how much of a glutton you really are, but double meat is not included in the premiums. Why? Because they already have enough meat on it to feed a 3rd world country for the next 10 years. Haven't you figured out that that's the reason why your sandwich costs the same as getting a nice 3 entree meal at a decent restaurant? Don't get mad when we say we can't do it because we literally can't! It's not even programmed in the computer. It even says in small print that double meat is not included on premium subs. (Philly, Pastrami, Pulled Pork, etc) Go ahead, throw your tantrum. Even if we somehow figured out a way to do it, you'd just get pissed off about your sandwich being over $15 bucks.
4. Text message orders.
-I hate this shit so much. If you have a huge order of sandwiches, what in your right mind thought an efficient way to categorize your order was through a big fat text on your phone? As far as I know, pen and paper still exist. Text orders slow everything down because they are so unorganized. Double rage points to the people who show up and still don't have all of their "orders" texted to them so they have to wait. Fuck that noise. And to think I used to hate lists (mostly because I knew lists = lots of sandwiches), but I'd gladly take a list over a text order version of a list.
5. The Smile on Command police.
-Are you here to order Subway food or are you really here to tell people how they should look at all times? If you want to spend $5-15 bucks on food just to get the satisfaction of telling employees how they should look and feel then that's your prerogative, but I'm not playing. My Aspergers puts me at a massive disadvantage on this because I'm not naturally a smiley person, and when I'm focused or concentrating on something I get a serious look on my face. As long as I'm not being an asshole and am on top of your order just how you want, you have no right to tell me to smile. Smiling on command was not included in my programming and if you don't like it then fuck off. I may be paid to tolerate you for minimum wage but that crosses the line to me.
And on a final note: Hell hath no fury like a woman separated from her precious Mayonnaise.
) - they guys & girls are downright awesome; the other customers can suck a bit, or be difficult, but I like to think I make up for that with my awesomeness 
In the few years they've been open, I've made genuine friends with a lot of peeps that work there - and as I was telling the boyf's family, I suspect the key to their awesomeness is good training, and great managers 
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