Haivng just moved house and so on, I haven't had internet access for a while (can lech a bit of the neighbour's wifi, but it's really slow). We're waiting for a modem to arrive, it sure is taking its time. So here are the stories I would have posted earlier if I'd had access. (I'm at my parents' house, using their connection)
(ph)owned
The boss worked the night shift and told me this tale when I arrived at 8am. He suspected a particular car would do a drive-off, so he picked up one of the dummy mobile phones and pretended to call the cops on it. When the offender saw what he was doing, he hung up the pump and got in the car. He had some trouble starting the engine (probably because it was stolen - hotwiring can take time). My boss had time to get out onto the forecourt for a closer look at the car and driver. Driver tried to drive off, my boss threw the dummy phone at the car (it bounced off the roof), the car drove into a pallet of Pepsi cans out the front. The guy got away, but it made great viewing on the CCTV (and we got a great description of him).
Why didn't you put a sign up?
We had an electrical fault on one of the pumps, and so had out of order signs on it. SC turns up at that pump, takes the out of order signs off, throws them on the ground, and attempts to fill up. This sets off the electrical fault which trips a circuit breaker and cuts all power to the site. SC enters store and starts whinging about not being able to get fuel (he'd have tried the race card but he was whiter than I am, and I'm Polish-German-Irish). On being informed that his actions have cut power to the entire store and it will take a few minutes to reset the breakers and reboot the pumps and registers, SC asks why there was no out of order sign on the pump. Then ran away before hearing the answer.
Wears the beef
A drunk guy was seen staggering around outside with a hamburger on top of his head. After a few minutes a taxi picked him up.
We got it all on UHF... I mean at edible_hat's convenience store
Two country folk (for want of a better term) came into the store. The started pointing at things and saying "Oooh, look, they got pies! They got donuts! They got porn! They got toilet paper!" Eventually one said "They don't got hookers, but that's about all they don't got."
On the serious side
A drunk kid (looked around 19-20, but could have been underage, remember drinking age in Australia is 18) was hanging around askign people for spare change. He wandered into the store and stuck some packets of biscuits down his pants right in front of my co-worker. Co-worker yelled "he's shoplifting!", I called the police, he dropped the biscuits and ran off. I told the police what happened so far and not to bother sending a patrol since it was all dealt with... that turned out to be my mistake because he came back with an older guy (possibly his father) and started making threats against me and my co-worker. His father (or whoever) said "don't worry, I'll sort him out", shoved him into his car, and left. Later I found out that the father had followed my co-worker out to her car a couple of weeks before (if I'd known that I'd have called the cops again). My co-worker called another co-worker who lives around the corner, who came back to work to keep an eye on things and make sure we both were OK (she's awesome, always goes out of her way to help co-workers and non-sucky customers). We got a good description of them and their vehicle, and if they play up again the police will definitely become involved.
Ice ice baby
SC buys an Icee (our name for a slurpee/squishee/slush puppy), takes one long slurp, and complains about brain freeze. After she leaves, I express surprise that there was something there to freeze.
It doesn't seem to work on dogs
SCs tried to hose down their German shepard in the car wash. Suprisingly enough, the dog ran away (apparently it turned up again at dinner time)
(ph)owned
The boss worked the night shift and told me this tale when I arrived at 8am. He suspected a particular car would do a drive-off, so he picked up one of the dummy mobile phones and pretended to call the cops on it. When the offender saw what he was doing, he hung up the pump and got in the car. He had some trouble starting the engine (probably because it was stolen - hotwiring can take time). My boss had time to get out onto the forecourt for a closer look at the car and driver. Driver tried to drive off, my boss threw the dummy phone at the car (it bounced off the roof), the car drove into a pallet of Pepsi cans out the front. The guy got away, but it made great viewing on the CCTV (and we got a great description of him).
Why didn't you put a sign up?
We had an electrical fault on one of the pumps, and so had out of order signs on it. SC turns up at that pump, takes the out of order signs off, throws them on the ground, and attempts to fill up. This sets off the electrical fault which trips a circuit breaker and cuts all power to the site. SC enters store and starts whinging about not being able to get fuel (he'd have tried the race card but he was whiter than I am, and I'm Polish-German-Irish). On being informed that his actions have cut power to the entire store and it will take a few minutes to reset the breakers and reboot the pumps and registers, SC asks why there was no out of order sign on the pump. Then ran away before hearing the answer.
Wears the beef
A drunk guy was seen staggering around outside with a hamburger on top of his head. After a few minutes a taxi picked him up.
We got it all on UHF... I mean at edible_hat's convenience store
Two country folk (for want of a better term) came into the store. The started pointing at things and saying "Oooh, look, they got pies! They got donuts! They got porn! They got toilet paper!" Eventually one said "They don't got hookers, but that's about all they don't got."
On the serious side
A drunk kid (looked around 19-20, but could have been underage, remember drinking age in Australia is 18) was hanging around askign people for spare change. He wandered into the store and stuck some packets of biscuits down his pants right in front of my co-worker. Co-worker yelled "he's shoplifting!", I called the police, he dropped the biscuits and ran off. I told the police what happened so far and not to bother sending a patrol since it was all dealt with... that turned out to be my mistake because he came back with an older guy (possibly his father) and started making threats against me and my co-worker. His father (or whoever) said "don't worry, I'll sort him out", shoved him into his car, and left. Later I found out that the father had followed my co-worker out to her car a couple of weeks before (if I'd known that I'd have called the cops again). My co-worker called another co-worker who lives around the corner, who came back to work to keep an eye on things and make sure we both were OK (she's awesome, always goes out of her way to help co-workers and non-sucky customers). We got a good description of them and their vehicle, and if they play up again the police will definitely become involved.
Ice ice baby
SC buys an Icee (our name for a slurpee/squishee/slush puppy), takes one long slurp, and complains about brain freeze. After she leaves, I express surprise that there was something there to freeze.
It doesn't seem to work on dogs
SCs tried to hose down their German shepard in the car wash. Suprisingly enough, the dog ran away (apparently it turned up again at dinner time)
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