It's Like Pulling Teeth (long)

[Rattslinger]

Why don't they listen?

These conversations begin after my welcome to the customer.

SC 1: I would like Business Card A with Back Side B.
Me: That's Business Card A with Back Side B.
SC 1: I said Business Card A with Back Side D as in Dog
Me: That's Business Card A with Back Side D as in Dog
SC 1: I said Business Card A with Back Side B as in Bog
Me: That's Business Card A as in Adam, with Back Side B as in Bone
SC 1: Let me speak to my account manager
Me: Transferring you now, have an excellent day!

SC 2: My telephone number is 555-55mumblemumblemumble
Me: Could you please repeat your phone number, I think my headset was turned down a little low, I apologize.
SC 2: My telephone number is 555-mumblemumblemumblemumblemumble
Me: I'm sorry, let me turn my headset up again, if you could please repeat that.
SC 2: My TELEPHONE NUMBER IS 555-555-5555, HEAR ME NOW?!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Thank You, and your items today would be?

SC 3: Yeah I need 5 reams of blue pap, Hold on a Sec ::distant conversation:: Okay that's 5 reams of, Hold on a Sec ::distant conversation:: "Hold Music"
5 Minutes Later
SC 3: Yeah I need 5 reams of blue paper.
Me: Okay Sir, that comes to $xx.xx ::SC 3 Cuts me off::
SC 3: You've had me waiting forever, hurry up I have to go, why are you taking so long to get this order going.
Me: Would you like me to put this order on your Credit Card or Invoice you Sir?
SC 3: Yes
Me: Credit Card or Invoice
SC 3: Yes that one
Me: Sir?
SC 3: Why are you still asking me questions, I said yes already.
Me: Sir, would you like me to put your order on your Credit Card or Invoice you Sir.
SC 3: On my credit card that you have on record
Me: ::Checks computer:: We don't have a credit card on record for you Sir, I'd be happy to take one and put it on record.
SC 3: I don't have time for this, don't you automatically put Credit Cards on file once your company has been paid once?
Me: No Sir, that's not allowed, I'd be happy to put one on now with your permission.
SC 3: I don't have it in my wallet, bill me then.
Me: Yes Sir

SC 4: Yes, Hello, Hello, Can I has quatros papels, Es Muy Rapido
Me: Could you repeat that Ma'am?
SC 4: ¿Puedo tener cuatro rodillos de papel por favor?
Me: Ma'am I can connect you with a Spanish speaking representative if you'd feel comfortable ordering from them.
SC 4: No es okay, I needs to practice my Ingles
Me: Okay, may I have your items please?
SC 4: ¿Puedo tener cuatro rodillos de papel por favor?
Me: Ma'am I'm transferring you to our Spanish speaking representatives.

SC 5: Yeah I want, X, Y, Z, A, B, C, D
10 of X, 5 of Y, 45 of Z, 3 of A, 2 of B, 8 of C, and 23 of D
Me: Could I please have your Customer Number or Phone number to look up your account.
SC 5: Yes, get that out to me in five days please, have a great day ::click::

[marty]

You seem to have just experienced an "earless customer day."

You think maybe some of those people were holding their phones upside-down?

[cj1991]

Oh yes. Love it so much. I get it all the time.

SC: Uh, yeah......I need a price on Widgets.
Me: Yes, we sell two different kinds. Which kind are you interested in?
SC: Widgets.
Me: Well, we sell Widgets for X use, and Widgets for Y use. Which kind?
SC: I said Widgets. Just give me a price.
Me: I need to know which kind. What are you using it for?
SC: For my basement. (This does not answer my question)
Me: Ok, how about this: I have X Widget for $xx.xx - It's our most popular selling model so we offer them on "sale". Will that work for you?
SC: I guess so.
Me: OK, would you like that in A color, or B color?
SC: They come in colors? (No, genius, they're transparent)
Me: Yes, you can have A or B.
SC: Can I have C instead?
Me: You can, but not at that price. It's not one of the sale items.
SC: That's not fair! How much more?
Me: (after figuring out costs and shipping) It's $xx.xx more.
SC: NO WAY! Just give me A.

Grrrr.......