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  • The banana lady

    There is this one woman who visits my store most every afternoon. All she ever buys that I know of are the bananas that we keep on the fruit rack by the registers. She'll spend at least half an hour feeling these poor bananas up before she ever buys any. I've never seen her show interest in anything else let alone buy anything else. It's quite an amusing spectacle if there is a lull between customers. She'll carefully feel every inch of each banana in the fruit rack at least once before she finally decides which ones to buy. The other day, she was going through her fruity ritual as usual. Customers kept giving her funny looks as they stepped up to the register with their purchases. I know they had to be reading the expression on my face -- a mixture of annoyance, amusement, and plain confusion. It was just funny watching the customers' reactions as they looked at her. One of our other regulars, an ornery old man named "Charlie," was leaning against the counter near the coffee pots watching her, too. I had to bite my lower lip to keep from busting out in laughter at the looks he'd kept shooting me as she fondled every single banana in the basket.

    As soon as she got her chosen bananas for the day, I couldn't help but observe, "So, you've finally found a couple you like." I don't think she got the point. She never said anything, and never speaks. At least she's not hateful and obnoxious. I try not to be mean about my comments because I think she really has some kind of OCD.

    After she left, Charlie wanders up to the counter, "What do you reckon she'd do if we ever put a wooden banana in that basket?" Then he just burst out laughing.

    I just burst out laughing, too, "Yeah, imagine if they ran on batteries...."

    He about choked on his coffee laughing so hard.

    Like I said, at least she's not rude or obnoxious -- just very strange.
    The Borg wouldn't know fun if they assimilated an amusement park. -- B'Elanna Torres, Star Trek: Voyager

    Math! Math, my dear boy, is but the lesbian sister of Biology. -- Peter Griffin, Family Guy

  • #2
    Quoth aurelemsrealm View Post
    I just burst out laughing, too, "Yeah, imagine if they ran on batteries...."
    I have seen a banana shaped "Adult Toy/ Novelty Item"

    Meeeeoooow.....
    Still missing you, Plaid

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    • #3
      Oddest is when you see a particular hentai where the banana has a condom on.

      ..um, ribbed for her pleasure?
      "IT stands away, interrupting himself from the incessant hammering of the kittens…"

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth aurelemsrealm View Post
        There is this one woman who visits my store most every afternoon. All she ever buys that I know of are the bananas that we keep on the fruit rack by the registers. She'll spend at least half an hour feeling these poor bananas up before she ever buys any. I've never seen her show interest in anything else let alone buy anything else. It's quite an amusing spectacle if there is a lull between customers. She'll carefully feel every inch of each banana in the fruit rack at least once before she finally decides which ones to buy. The other day, she was going through her fruity ritual as usual.
        Maybe she's "lonely". Does she usually ger the slightly unripe ones for firmness?

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        • #5
          Quoth Tria View Post
          Maybe she's "lonely". Does she usually ger the slightly unripe ones for firmness?
          Some women go for length as well as girth, or so I've heard.
          Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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          • #6
            What, no "she must be bananas" jokes?

            I don't go in for ancient wisdom
            I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
            It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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            • #7
              LOL! Somehow, we got to talking about her today at work. Another of the old men who hangs out in our store said he thought it'd be funny to get speakers to put in the banana basket. Then, when she starts squeezing bananas, say, "Squeeze me harder, baby!" She'd probably flip out and kill everyone because she found a talking banana. WAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
              The Borg wouldn't know fun if they assimilated an amusement park. -- B'Elanna Torres, Star Trek: Voyager

              Math! Math, my dear boy, is but the lesbian sister of Biology. -- Peter Griffin, Family Guy

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              • #8
                Quoth aurelemsrealm View Post
                She'd probably flip out and kill everyone because she found a talking banana.
                Better to start singing, "Hello, My Baby!" when she started squeezing them, and pay careful attention to whomever else she tries to get to hear it... and then stop singing. Just to mess with her.
                "I call murder on that!"

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                • #9
                  Juwl, I think I pulled a muscle from laughing too hard.
                  I'm bringing disdain back...with a vengeance.

                  Oh, and your tool box called...you got out again.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    She better watch out with all those bananas. Her kidneys could shut down from potassium overload.
                    Total surrender
                    Your touch is so tender
                    Your skin is like water on a burning beach
                    And it brings me relief
                    "Nails in My Feet" - Crowded House

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Killer Bees View Post
                      She better watch out with all those bananas. Her kidneys could shut down from potassium overload.
                      You're probably the only person thinking that she's eating them. I suspect they're for her trained banana musical troupe.

                      I know mine are.

                      Rapscallion

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                      • #12
                        You could always try singing, "Yes, We Have No Bananas" when she enters the store, and watch her reaction.

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                        • #13
                          What about putting a Banana Phone in there?


                          Ringringringringringringringring....
                          Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

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                          • #14
                            I like the speaker idea, but you need to have it playing "Hey Mr. Taliman, Tally me bannana's" as she is molesting the banana's.
                            My Karma ran over your dogma.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth digilight View Post
                              I like the speaker idea, but you need to have it playing "Hey Mr. Taliman, Tally me bannana's" as she is molesting the banana's.
                              Daylight come and me wanna go ho-ome?
                              Day!
                              Me say Day, Me say day, me say day-ay-ay-o...
                              Daylight come, and me wan' go-o-o-o home.
                              A beautiful bunch, of ripe banana!
                              Daylight come and me wan' go ho-ome!

                              More from the clerk's perspective than the customer's in this case.
                              "I call murder on that!"

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