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The pub has been dead for the past few weeks. I mean really dead. And then December 1st arrived.
I walked in to start my shift and could see that the pub was really busy. It was also horribly understaffed as it wasn’t expected. I ran to the barstaff.
Me: Where’s the manager? Just so I can get him to put me on a register right away so I can help.
CW: He’s busy sorting out a delivery.
Me: Crap. OK, I’ll wait for him.
SC: *hem hem!*
Me: Are you OK there ma’am?
SC: I will have a vodka lemonade-
Me: Oh I’m afraid I can’t serve you at the moment. I don’t have a register so I wouldn’t be able to ring through your order.
Plus I had just walked in and wasn’t even in friggin uniform yet!
SC: I don’t understand. You do work here don’t you?
Me: I do but I need to wait for the manager to get me signed on a register.
SC: Why can’t you just serve me right now?
Me: Because I don’t have approval. The manager needs to assign us somewhere. But I will get someone to serve you right away.
SC: Why can’t you do it?
Me: The managers need to know exactly who has been doing what on each register. I can’t just hop on without permission.
SC: So what you’re saying is…you can’t be trusted with money.
Me: No-
SC: It is! Well, keep away from me and my money!
She walked away from me.
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A customer walked up to me. She was carrying a notebook.
SC: Excuse me, but what time are you open on Christmas day?
Me: We are open between noon and five for drinks only.
SC: Oh good! I want to book a table for dinner!
Me: We’re only open for drinks. No meals.
SC: But I want to book Christmas dinner!
Me: I’m afraid we don’t serve Christmas dinner.
SC: But everything else in town is booked!
Me: I’m very sorry but there’s nothing I can do.
SC: But this notebook has all my families order in it! What are they going to do now???
Wait for it everyone. Say it with me!
SC: YOU’VE RUINED CHRISTMAS!!
I felt like ringing the bell behind the bar and cheering.
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A Christmas office party came into the pub. There were about 20 of them. They also brought their own Christmas crackers and hats. They sat in the corner and had a jolly time without bothering anyone. Suddenly, a woman stormed up to the bar.
SC: How come those guys got hats and crackers? I want hats and crackers!
I couldn’t process what she was saying at first.
Me: I’m sorry?
SC: How come you treat them like royalty by giving them hats and crackers, and then you just treat my family like normal people! You should treat your customers equally! I want hats and crackers!!!
Me: Those people brought their own. We didn’t provide them.
SC: Why don’t you treat your customer equally?? My children are upset because they don’t get to pull a cracker or wear a hat!!!
Me: Like I said, they brought them themselves. We don’t provide them. Maybe you should speak to them and ask if they would like to donate some to your children.
SC: You aren’t treating your customers equally!!!
Repeat this about six times. I begin to lose patience.
Me: Fine! You want a hat? I’ll give you the only hat we have!
It was a cook’s hat from the kitchen.
SC: This doesn’t look festive!
She fumbled around with it for a few seconds.
SC: Do you know what, forget it! I can clearly see you prefer those drunks over my family!
She slammed the hat down on the bar and stormed off.
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Another angry woman walked up to the bar.
SC: There are people sat where I want to sit!!
Me: OK, can’t you sit somewhere else?
SC: We want to sit there and no where else!
Me: I can’t ask customers to move for that reason.
SC: Well I can!!!
She stormed over, but returned moments later.
SC: They won’t move!
Me: I wonder why…
SC: We’ll go somewhere else! I mean it!
Me: *blank stare*
Her husband snapped.
H: For God’s sake! We’re sitting over there! Why do you always do this???
SC: But-but-
Didn’t hear a peep out of her again.
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Pub closed for the night. Five minutes later a man walked into the pub and straight up to the bar.
SC: Pint of lager.
Me: I’m sorry, but we have closed for the night.
SC: Don’t care. Pint of lager.
Me: We are closed. I cannot serve you.
SC: Are you listening to me? Pint. Of. Lager.
Me: Are you listening to me? We. Are. Closed.
SC: Get me my drink.
Me: Since you asked so politely, no.
SC: Don’t you talk to me like that. I want a drink.
Me: We are closed. I cannot serve you. We are beyond our licencing hours, so it would also be ILLEGAL for me to serve you.
SC: Serve me my drink or I will ask for the manager.
I let out a giggle. I couldn’t help it.
SC: I’ll do it. Don’t think I won’t.
Me: How about this? I will go get the manager myself! Just so you don’t have to trouble yourself with asking!
I got the manager. M was on her fourth close on a row. She saw the SC and let out a massive sigh.
M: How did I know it was going to be you?
SC: What do you mean by that?
M: This is the FOURTH night in a row I’ve dealt with you. Exact same situation: you come in five minutes after we close, are rude to the staff and then I have to shoo you away. Why don’t you just go away now so we don’t waste any time?
SC: How rude are you??
M: Well this is the fourth night in a row I’ve done this. I’m a little sick of the sight of you.
SC: I came here thinking I could have a quiet pint! Not be spoken to in such a rude manner!
M: You’re perfectly entitled to a quiet drink…during opening hours.
SC: I don’t see what the big deal is.
M: The LAW is what the big deal is. Now go make your way outside.
SC: I should have stayed in *rival bar*! They would have never treated me this way!
M: Good advice.
He left. M groaned.
M: Sorry. He whined at me for nearly 30 minutes the other night.
The Christmas SCs have begun…
I walked in to start my shift and could see that the pub was really busy. It was also horribly understaffed as it wasn’t expected. I ran to the barstaff.
Me: Where’s the manager? Just so I can get him to put me on a register right away so I can help.
CW: He’s busy sorting out a delivery.
Me: Crap. OK, I’ll wait for him.
SC: *hem hem!*
Me: Are you OK there ma’am?
SC: I will have a vodka lemonade-
Me: Oh I’m afraid I can’t serve you at the moment. I don’t have a register so I wouldn’t be able to ring through your order.
Plus I had just walked in and wasn’t even in friggin uniform yet!
SC: I don’t understand. You do work here don’t you?
Me: I do but I need to wait for the manager to get me signed on a register.
SC: Why can’t you just serve me right now?
Me: Because I don’t have approval. The manager needs to assign us somewhere. But I will get someone to serve you right away.
SC: Why can’t you do it?
Me: The managers need to know exactly who has been doing what on each register. I can’t just hop on without permission.
SC: So what you’re saying is…you can’t be trusted with money.
Me: No-
SC: It is! Well, keep away from me and my money!
She walked away from me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A customer walked up to me. She was carrying a notebook.
SC: Excuse me, but what time are you open on Christmas day?
Me: We are open between noon and five for drinks only.
SC: Oh good! I want to book a table for dinner!
Me: We’re only open for drinks. No meals.
SC: But I want to book Christmas dinner!
Me: I’m afraid we don’t serve Christmas dinner.
SC: But everything else in town is booked!
Me: I’m very sorry but there’s nothing I can do.
SC: But this notebook has all my families order in it! What are they going to do now???
Wait for it everyone. Say it with me!
SC: YOU’VE RUINED CHRISTMAS!!
I felt like ringing the bell behind the bar and cheering.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Christmas office party came into the pub. There were about 20 of them. They also brought their own Christmas crackers and hats. They sat in the corner and had a jolly time without bothering anyone. Suddenly, a woman stormed up to the bar.
SC: How come those guys got hats and crackers? I want hats and crackers!
I couldn’t process what she was saying at first.
Me: I’m sorry?
SC: How come you treat them like royalty by giving them hats and crackers, and then you just treat my family like normal people! You should treat your customers equally! I want hats and crackers!!!
Me: Those people brought their own. We didn’t provide them.
SC: Why don’t you treat your customer equally?? My children are upset because they don’t get to pull a cracker or wear a hat!!!
Me: Like I said, they brought them themselves. We don’t provide them. Maybe you should speak to them and ask if they would like to donate some to your children.
SC: You aren’t treating your customers equally!!!
Repeat this about six times. I begin to lose patience.
Me: Fine! You want a hat? I’ll give you the only hat we have!
It was a cook’s hat from the kitchen.
SC: This doesn’t look festive!
She fumbled around with it for a few seconds.
SC: Do you know what, forget it! I can clearly see you prefer those drunks over my family!
She slammed the hat down on the bar and stormed off.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another angry woman walked up to the bar.
SC: There are people sat where I want to sit!!
Me: OK, can’t you sit somewhere else?
SC: We want to sit there and no where else!
Me: I can’t ask customers to move for that reason.
SC: Well I can!!!
She stormed over, but returned moments later.
SC: They won’t move!
Me: I wonder why…
SC: We’ll go somewhere else! I mean it!
Me: *blank stare*
Her husband snapped.
H: For God’s sake! We’re sitting over there! Why do you always do this???
SC: But-but-
Didn’t hear a peep out of her again.
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Pub closed for the night. Five minutes later a man walked into the pub and straight up to the bar.
SC: Pint of lager.
Me: I’m sorry, but we have closed for the night.
SC: Don’t care. Pint of lager.
Me: We are closed. I cannot serve you.
SC: Are you listening to me? Pint. Of. Lager.
Me: Are you listening to me? We. Are. Closed.
SC: Get me my drink.
Me: Since you asked so politely, no.
SC: Don’t you talk to me like that. I want a drink.
Me: We are closed. I cannot serve you. We are beyond our licencing hours, so it would also be ILLEGAL for me to serve you.
SC: Serve me my drink or I will ask for the manager.
I let out a giggle. I couldn’t help it.
SC: I’ll do it. Don’t think I won’t.
Me: How about this? I will go get the manager myself! Just so you don’t have to trouble yourself with asking!
I got the manager. M was on her fourth close on a row. She saw the SC and let out a massive sigh.
M: How did I know it was going to be you?
SC: What do you mean by that?
M: This is the FOURTH night in a row I’ve dealt with you. Exact same situation: you come in five minutes after we close, are rude to the staff and then I have to shoo you away. Why don’t you just go away now so we don’t waste any time?
SC: How rude are you??
M: Well this is the fourth night in a row I’ve done this. I’m a little sick of the sight of you.
SC: I came here thinking I could have a quiet pint! Not be spoken to in such a rude manner!
M: You’re perfectly entitled to a quiet drink…during opening hours.
SC: I don’t see what the big deal is.
M: The LAW is what the big deal is. Now go make your way outside.
SC: I should have stayed in *rival bar*! They would have never treated me this way!
M: Good advice.
He left. M groaned.
M: Sorry. He whined at me for nearly 30 minutes the other night.
The Christmas SCs have begun…
He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.
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